I know that you were probably expecting that to be the moment when I confessed my love to him, and he would either:

A: Shoot me down then and there. But in a nice way of course because it's Cody.

B: Accept my love, even if doesn't return it.

C: We make out and have cheeky butt-sex.

Well, none of the above happened because two weeks later and I still haven't told him how I feel. Maybe it's because I'm hoping that if I repress my feelings enough, eventually they'll die out. Or maybe it's because I'm a coward and am afraid of failure. Which is true. Noah doesn't fail, not on a test, not in an argument. Never.

Even if I did confess my admiration to Cody, which I don't plan on, I wouldn't expect him to like me back. I wouldn't be mad, I'm not even sure I'd be ridiculously upset if he didn't feel the same. Mostly because I know he doesn't, the kid's so hung up on the glorious Gwen.

Anyway, he and I spend a good amount of time with each other. Every week we get together with Tyler and Justin to watch Total Drama together. The one that aired this week was the one Katie got kicked out in, but by now Courtney and Sadie have joined us at the Playa. And not gonna lie, Courtney's gone a bit loco. I mean she carries a damn curtain rod around with her!

This whole place is just a train wreck.

-------------------

Cody was curled up on the couch, his tired eyes drooped lazily, fixed on the TV that was quietly playing Friends. He had a soft blanket wrapped around him and was cradling a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. I was seated on the other end of the couch, my legs stretched out so my feet were touching Cody's leg. I had the comforter from my bed draped over my body.

"Cody, what time is it?"

He jumped a little as if waking up from a trance.

"Oh, uhhh," he looked at his watch, "11:23"

I sat up and smoothed out my ruffled hair.

"Wanna go back to your room now, get some sleep?" I groaned, scratching my shoulder. He shook his head.

"It's not even that late"

He lies. He's yawning.

"Dude you're exhausted. And so am I, so I'm going to bed"

I switched off the TV and stood up, picking the comforter from the couch. I went into the bedroom, shutting the door, and threw the blanket lazily onto the bed. I took off my pants and shirt and crawled between the sheets. I waited for the sound of him leaving the room, but I fell asleep within a minute, so I never confirmed that he actually left.

And of course, he didn't. When I got up to go to the bathroom, probably around 6:30 in the morning, there he was, his mouth open a little so I could hear his soft breathing. His blanket had fallen and was only covering one of his legs.

I sighed and covered him up, doing my best not to disturb him. It took so much out of me not to kiss his squishy, tired cheek.

But I didn't, so I grabbed my key, and went down the hall into the bathroom to pee. Luckily for me, I could hear who I'm pretty sure was Ezekiel tending to some "personal" business in the shower. Awesome.

When I got back to the room, Cody was still asleep, but he had rolled over so his blanket was now laying completely on the floor. I just rolled my eyes and left him there. I threw on my day clothes and walked down to the kitchen to grab a smoothie. My best friend Eva was down there pounding the life out of what used to be a fruit because 'it wouldn't juice'.

I managed to steal a canned smoothie from the fridge a make it back up in one piece. I opened the door to see a still sleeping Cody that had fallen on the floor, blanket and all. An audible sigh escaped my sarcastic lips, and I bent down to scoop him up.

I would've expected him to be lighter and smaller, like a toddler. And sometimes I forget the dude's 16. Which now as I say it, it sounds creepy given that I wouldn't be opposed to doing the dirty with him. God, I can't believe that was produced from my mind! I need to stop talking.

I waddled into my own bedroom, Cody still miraculously asleep in my arms, and set him in the bed. I spread his blanket across him and tucked it delicately in his sides so it wouldn't freaking fall off this time.

His breaths were wispy and shallow, so I knew he was genuinely asleep. So I took a chance.

"Main tumase pyaar karata hoon" I whispered.

It means 'I love you' in Hindi for all you English speaking fools. I know he didn't hear me, and even if he did, he wouldn't understand. Yet, I feel like I lifted the secret of my admiration for him off my scrawny chest. And I probably could've stood there just staring at him until someone rapped ferociously on the door, waking me out of my Cody-induced trance, and Cody out of his sleep.

I ran to get the door without looking back at Cody. Likely he was a bit weirded out by being in my bed with me looming over it, which is totally fair.

I opened the door with an aggressive 'what?', which came out gayer than I intended, to see a slightly offended looking Beth.

"I didn'th wake you, didth I?" She cautioned out. I shook my head.

"What do you want Beth, it's really early still"

She started twiddling her thumbs. She was probably the human embodiment of the awkward middle school phase, but she happened to be hitting it at age 16.

"One of the internsth shays one of us will hath the chanthe to go back on the sthow. If we want that isth..." she trailed off, probably intimidated by my grumpy morning look.

By this time, Cody had made his way groggily out of bed, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He seemed to be half asleep, so I'm hoping he doesn't think too deeply into the whole waking up in my bed business.

"I'm in" he says with a lazy grin.

I immediately shook my head.

"You couldn't pay me a million dollars to make me go back to that place" I spat. Cody looked at me as if disappointed I wasn't going to participate, but he didn't object to it.

"This isn't happening right now, is it?" Cody asked Beth. She shook her head.

"Christh is coming here in abouth an hour" she said, releasing a rain of saliva from her metalwork mouth. I'm pretty sure the face of disgust I usually internalize emerged right about then. Cody nodded, and I shut the door.

"Bye Beth" I grunted and turned to face Cody.

"I'm shocked you can fall asleep in my room, fall off the couch twice, be relocated into the bedroom and still not wake up"

He laughed, but rolled his eyes.

"What can I say, I'm a deep sleeper" he chuckled. I smirked at him and sat on the couch.

"Noah, how come you aren't going to try and go back? It's a hundred grand!"

He sat down beside me, still wrapped in his blanket. His bare feet were pale and they padded up and down when he tapped his leg. He is quite the ADHD kid, as he is always moving in some way, The little dude can't sit still.

"Because staying in a rotting cabin with a bunch of sketchy people and risking my life once a week for the sake of entertainment isn't exactly my slice of pie"

He shrugged.

"I guess. But if I win I might get another chance at Gwen"

I shook my head.

"Isn't there a girl in that competition that you want to see again? Unless she's already eliminated, I guess. But the only hot girl here is Courtney and she's a nut job..." he babbled.

"Who said it was the girls I'm into?"

He proceeded to list the possible male crushes for me, but what I said didn't register until ten seconds later.

"Ooh, you're... like that" he said in the most friendly, cautious way possible.

I smirked.

"I'm shocked you haven't figured it out yet, honey"

I got a laugh out of him.

"I guess that does explain a lot," he grinned, "but are there any dudes you're into in the competition? Because I bet I could like put in a good word for you and help you out" he rambled, getting all excited. I let him talk until he started talking about having a double date with Gwen and Trent. At first I heard it as he and I would be together, but then I realized he was talking about setting me up with Trent.

"Woah, woah, woah, I never said I was into any of the guys here" I defended, putting my hands up in mock surrender.

"Well don't you think any of them are hot?" he asked innocently.

"I mean yeah, of course"

"How would you rate the guys from hottest to least hot?" Cody interrupted, obviously intrigued by the 'new' information of my homosexuality.

"Uhm, I'd say Geoff being the hottest, Justin, Duncan, Tyler, Trent, DJ, myself, you. And then the rest are too ugly to put on the list" I shrugged.

He looked both amazed and mildly offended.

"I'm last on the decent list? You even put yourself before me" he giggled, trying to sound angry.

"Hey at least you made it on the list"

"Fair enough" he reasoned.

We sat in thirty seconds of possibly the most awkward silence ever.

"So you like Geoff?" He asked.

I LOL'd at his naivety.

"No, I just said he was the hottest"

Cody gave a small shrug and finally stopped asking questions.

"Well I guess I can't make you go for another shot" he said standing up. He stretched out his skinny arms and headed towards the door.

"I'll talk to you after. Unless I win of course" he chuckled, and let the door close softly behind him. I slumped back into the couch, shaking my head at myself.

This was my chance! To tell him how I feel!

I sighed and clicked on the TV, watching some sketchy reality show on whatever channel Cody, and eventually dozed off to the buzzing sound of a bunch of fat, white guys buying junk from other people.

--------------

When I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, I could hear Courtney bitching to someone about something, however it was inaudible over her screeching voice. Once I turned the corner, I saw her sitting at the bar with Katie, Sadie, Cody, and a mildly terrified Tyler.

"...I deserved a chance to go back, I was kicked off unfairly! And that meat brain gets to go back and threaten the pants off everybody again when no one really liked her anyway and she never had a chance!"

Cody was just nodding at her rant while Katie was trying to engage with the screaming latina nut bag, allegedly getting interrupted by Courtney's constant stream of madness escaping her glossy lips.

Part of me said to just turn around now and not get involved, but my curiosity won over, and I ended up taking the seat on the right of Courtney, who was still going on about Harold's wrong-doing. Turns out that scrawny geek rigged the votes to get Courtney off the show, getting revenge at Duncan. Turns out, Courtney wasn't impressed.

"When he gets his skinny ass off that island, oh boy he's going to get my whole summer of CIT training coming at him!" she erupted, throwing several grapes on the cement floor, making one bounce back and ricochet right into poor Tyler's eye, making him fall back onto the pavement, knocking him unconscious. Courtney ignored it and kept rambling on, while Cody stood up to investigate Tyler's body sprawled across the floor. He poked his finger at Tyler's face, but he didn't even flinch. Cody shrugged and kind of kicked him out of the way.

I sighed, stood up, and walked over to Tyler. I grabbed his legs and lifted them off the ground, making Tyler's upper half roll over like a beached fish.

"Grab his arms" I instructed Cody. He did as told, and I walked backwards down the stairs to carry Tyler to the pool deck.

We set him in a lounge chair next to a sunbathing Justin, and just kinda stared at the dude.

"What an unfortunate man" mused Cody, stretching out his back. I nodded.

"Karma will repay him one day"

Cody looked like a light had flickered on in his hypothetical attic.

"That's right, you're Hindu!"

I shook my head.

"Not in the least. I'm Indian, but I don't worship the Hindu Gods. It's irrational and rather time consuming" I shrugged, making Cody laugh.

"Sorry. I guess that was kinda racist"

I shrugged again, making him giggle. He took his sandals off and sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet in the water. I sat beside him, but kept all appendages out of the pool.

"We on again for Total Drama again tonight?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Yeah, but I think Tyler's a bit out of commision for the night, so it's just us" he laughed. I managed a friendly smirk at his comment.

"Fair enough"