《Haikyuu Text Messages》83. Sakuatsu
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Sakusa Kiyoomi x Miya Atsumu
None
Mentions of intrusive thoughts
Post-timeskip
None
hey atsu
Hey Omi :D
is everything alright?
i need to tell you sth
and i'll understand if you want to break up with me after this
but i haven't told anyone and it's been eating me up and i'm scared that the people i love will push me away or see me differently and i think i've known it for a while but today i went to the psychologist and they confirmed it and actually saying it out scares the shit out of me and i know i'm rambling but i'm really scared that you'll leave me but i don't know what to do without you bcs ily and
fuck i was going to delete half of that before sending it
woah
baby calm down
it's okay
i won't leave you no matter what :)
i have severe ocd
i got the diagnosis today
oh.
i don't have much information on ocd
can you explain it for me pls?
it's ok if u don't want to
i can just look it up online
i just know that it can vary from person to person so..
it's more in the area of cleanliness, tidiness and intrusive thoughts
intrusive thoughts?
how so?
um.. basically my brain likes to imagine disturbing scenarios
they can vary.. like sometimes my brain just goes "did the ceiling just creak? imagine what it would feel like if it fell on top of you" and continues to imagine the ceiling falling over me for 15-20 times
that's awful, love.
and sometimes my brain thinks of disturbing sexual thoughts that are personally unacceptable
like in the middle of an exam
but it's not like horny
and more like my brain trying to annoy me
and i can't get it out of my head
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and then there's cleanliness
i'm sure you already know about my mysophobia
ofc i do love
and then there's the routines
like my going to school routine
if i don't go to school on time it causes me great anxiety
or like i have to push my chair all the way into my desk or sth bad will happen
....yeah
so if you want to break up with me, i totally understand
are you kidding me?
ofc i won't break up with u omi :)
ily
you do?
yup!!
oh...
i would've said "it's ok if you're not ready to say it back" but considering that u said it before me (in your vent paragraph), it's not that
what's up love?
i just... never though that someone could really love me
i mean... i've had boyfriends before (2) but one of them broke up with me because of my mysophobia and the other said that he "only wanted to touch the untouchable"
so.. ig i just didn't think you would actually love me
tho i should've expected it, considering that you gave me all the space i needed without seeming offended in any way :)
omi, baby, i'm sorry but your exes were pieces of shit
i love you
i love you too
but are you sure you don't want to break up with me?
i'll totally understand if so
being with a mentally ill person must be tough
you should know that
huh?
babe i have adhd
HUH?
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW?
NO??!?!!??!?!
OMI ASJKDHASDKAJSD
JSDASKJHASDKJASHD
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