Troubled face

Headphones on

Forgetting time and place

All he wanted

"You don't love men, trust me, you could never."

"You like women, honey."

"You don't have a crush on him. Don't you remember that one time he laughed at you when you burnt your hand?"

"You're not gay, because you don't act like my gay friend."

"I'm not homophobic, honey, I'm just saying that you're not gay, because that would be unacceptable."

"What would your grandparents think?"

"Why would you do this to me? You're straight, (Y/n), you're nowhere near gay."

"You can never deal with men."

"I can only see you dating a female, so you're not gay."

"You don't look gay, so you're not gay."

"Gay people have a certain voice, and you don't have it, so you're not gay."

Those phrases were all said to me by my mother, (L/n) (M/n). I hate her, she keeps saying shit like that, and won't even try to accept that I like men. She says "i'M nOt HomOpHoBiC," but she always follows it up with homophobic things like "But I won't let you be a faggot." She's such a contradicting psychopathic bitch. She knows I like volleyball, and she forced me to quit because she claimed that it was a "sport for disgusting fucking pansies." It's just a sport, like Jesus Christ, calm down, will you? My gosh... but like, even though I quit the team, I still asked to come to their practices, and such. They agreed, and I basically became an unofficial manager for their team, except I couldn't go to training camps. Sometimes I even practiced with them, but I didn't all the time. I'm glad I could at least contribute a bit to the team.

So, I was in the gym, but Yukie, and Kaori told me that I could just sit, and watch because they wanted to do their jobs. OK, maybe I was stealing their jobs as manager... whoops? I was more troubled than usual, since my mom was being more strict with my conversion sessions. She didn't let me stay at conversion camps, because she felt that to be unnecessary, but she felt it necessary to change my sexuality or some shit. She said she's not homophobic... yeah, not homophobic my ass. Today I'm having the session at my house at 7 pm, and today's practice ends at 7 as well. I want to stay until the end, but I'll have to leave early. The reason I wanted to stay is a certain boy; Akaashi Keiji. I'm in love with him, and he loves me, and I want to see him through, but because of retarded con therapy, I'll have to go early. I just wanted to forget the time, and place that I'm in. That was all I wanted, I wanted a completely different family. I had headphones on, and was listening to FAG by Todrick Hall because I was feeling like a rebel.

"Hey, what're you listening to?" A voice asked. It was Keiji.

"FAG by Todrick Hall," I answered.

"Cool. Are you OK? You look very troubled," Keiji asked.

"No, I'm not OK," I sighed. "I have my conversion therapy session today... again. I fucking hate that old bitch, I wish I could slap her in the face."

"Well you shouldn't slap her, mi amor." Keiji chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, you'd think I know that, seeing as I haven't done it yet," I chuckled.

"You're right. Want me to walk you home?" He asked.

"That'd be nice," I admitted.

"What time?"

"6.30."

"Alright." Keiji smiled, and walked back to tell the coach that he has to leave early.

Feeling stuck

Set him free

Running out of luck

On his knees

"You know, Keiji? I've been feeling so trapped lately. Like I'm stuck in my mother's grip, and it's only getting worse." I admitted as we walked to my house.

"Well, if it gets too bad, tell me alright? I'll set you free from her grip," Keiji smiled.

"Thank you. I thought I was running out of luck until I confessed to you. I was basically begging luck on my knees for some form of warmth."

"Yeah. I was relieved you loved me back." Keiji smiled.

"Me too."

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never known

Cover up is what they told

Feel so cold

...

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never loved

Walks on a curvy road

Feel

"And we're almost there. You should drop me off here, my mother might get upset with you," I told him as we were standing in an alleyway near my house.

"Right. Are you sure you'll be OK?" Keiji asked.

"Yeah, thanks for caring," I thanked him.

"Wait." Keiji called out. I turned around, and was met with Keiji's soft lips. I kissed him back, and we basically made out in an alleyway. I've never actually known what this ever felt like, because my mother always told me to cover up the fact that I'm gay. It felt so cold when I kissed a girl my mother made me "date". We broke up, though, because she got bored of me. Keiji's lips, however, are warm, and full of love. We parted for air, and I held on to his uniform collar.

"Was that all?" I asked.

"Y-yeah. You should go now, it's almost 7."

"Oh shit, you're right. I'll see ya!" I shouted as I ran to my house.

Keeping back

The ghost inside

Locked him in a pack

All his life

All his life

All the time in the therapy session, I wasn't really listening to my so-called 'therapist'. Instead I use this time to reflect on my homosexuality like the (secret) rebel I am. I've actually been keeping back my pride in myself since I came out to my mother. No, I've been basically locking up my confidence in my sexuality, and in myself since I came out to the old hag.

"Are you listening, (L/n)-san?" My tHeRaPiSt asked.

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

"Look, you just started, and it's not going to be hugely effective at first, as you're still confused, but as time progresses, you'll start to realize how wrong you are, and continue life the way society designed." She smiled.

"Sure," I sighed.

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never known

Cover up is what they told

Feel so cold

...

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never loved

Walks on a curvy road

Feel

"OK, miss, I'll have to be blunt with you, this isn't helping at all," I told her a few hours later. I still like men, and I can still feel Keiji's lips on me, and it's getting nerve wracking-ly wonderful.

"Honey, you're just confused-"

"No! No the fuck I am not! I'm pretty sure my attraction towards men isn't going to go away!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry. I must report this to your mother," she said as she walked down stairs.

"Go the fuck ahead! I couldn't care less!"

Get lost, get lost, get lost

Get lost, get lost, get lost

"YOU FAGGOT! Get lost! Get out of my house, and never return!" My mother yelled as she threw a packed bag at me.

"I won't return! Good luck having nobody to bury you at your funeral, stupid old bitch!" I yelled back as I grabbed the bag, and flipped her off.

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never known

Cover up is what they told

Feel so cold

...

First time he kissed a boy

He had never, never loved

Walks on a curvy road

Feel

I didn't know where else to go, so here I was, in front of Keiji's door, contemplating whether I should knock or not. I wouldn't want to bother my boyfriend's family, but at the same time where am I supposed to go? The adoption center? I decided on knocking as I'm already here.

"Yes? Oh, (Y/n). What're you doing here?" Keiji asked.

"My mom kicked me out," I explained.

"Oh, come in then. I'll make you some tea."

.

.

.

"Mom, dad, this is my boyfriend, (Y/n)." Keiji told them.

"Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Akaashi." I bowed down.

"Ah, hello, (Y/n). Son, why is he here this late? Are you two planning to do something?" Mr. Akaashi asked. I instantly blushed, and so did Keiji.

"Dad! He got kicked out for being gay, so I'm wondering if he could maybe stay here for a bit?" Keiji asked.

"Of course honey!" Mrs. Akaashi exclaimed.

"Thank you," I thanked them.

"No worries, dear. You can share a room with Keiji."

Get lost, get lost, get lost

...

Get lost, get lost, get lost

"Today we celebrate the beginning of two lives who will now share a life as one," the priest said.

I ignored all the other banter he said, as I stared into Keiji's love-filled eyes.

"Alright, Keiji. I remember so clearly the day I moved in with you. You promised to set me free from my homophobic mother, and here we are. We're getting married. So, for that I thank you so, so much, and I promise you, I'll never let you go. Whenever you're hurt, hungry, sad, you name it, I'll be there with you. All the sadness, and joys of life, we'll experience them all together, and push through it. And I promise you, even when death comes, it can never bring us apart. In another life, I'll be there for you as well, for death can never do part our love," I said my wedding vows. Keiji had tears in his eyes as he blushed, and giggled.

"Whoa, that was... a little dark, but made me fall for you even more, if that's possible. Well, my wedding vow is gonna sound awful now. (Y/n), I remember the first time I met you so clearly. As if it just happened a minute or so ago. Bokuto-san introduced us to each other, and I noticed the tired look in your eyes. You told me it was your mother, and later I see why. Well, on the day you mentioned, the day you moved in with us, my parents immediately knew you were the one for me, and they're right. Now I'm marrying you. You know I was always a timid person. I have some problems with expressing myself properly at times, but you always know what to say somehow, which is something I love about you. When I'm feeling down because I had a problem, you were there to cheer me up, and comfort me. I promise when you're feeling down, I'll be there to pick you up as well, like you always did for me. I promise you'll never feel alone, and I promise I'll treat you like a king, no a god, because that's what you deserve." Keiji promised. I teared up, and smiled at him.

"You may now kiss the groom," the priest said. Keiji leaned in, and kissed me. It was just like the first kiss we shared that day.

"Woo!"

"Yeah!"

"Congrats!"

And many more were heard through the venue as we parted for air, and officially got married.

"I love you so much, Keiji," I told him.

"I love you too," Keiji replied.