A/N : Try to read this chapter while listening to LET GO by BTS. Because I already did and I'm crying a river. 😭

If I stop to dwell for even a fraction of a second my face is wet with tears. They roll silently into my cracked lips, salty and cold. I can never fathom why God would give me someone so good only to snatch them away again. I know you are safe with Him, loved and warm, but I can't reach you there.

What I once treasured is now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. It's a strange thing to lose something which you once had, like a limb torn from your body without the chance to save it. The door that was once open and welcoming was locked and disinviting. She had left me; I was alone.

You've gone, and this time for so long. I still don't believe that this is the end. You know, it is so hard to see a person that you used to love go to another world. It is so hard for me to turn and not see you behind me, but it's destiny. I wish that you were here just to tell you things I couldn't tell you; tell you that I love you, tell you that I'll never forget you, tell you that I'll always see you in the stars at night, tell you that I miss you.

He couldn't even say the word goodbye this time. She shattered him like nothing else... He doesn't even have words to describe the pain that he's feeling right now.

After all we have been through, I have lost you again.

More than that... I have lost myself again in the thoughts and wishes of all that can never be.

"Jung-jungkook!" He turned effortlessly when he heard Kino called him from a far. Jungkook saw his friend rushing to the sitting him.

"Is it real? I mean, how? How did it happen? Jennie just murdered Y/N?" Kino gaped his mouth big, still didn't believe that tragedy had happened right in front of Jungkook.

"She couldn't survive," he murmured while staring the white wall blankly. This pain of losing someone neither couldn't be any lessen nor easily vanished away for the rest of his life.

He heard Kino sighing before putting his hand on his shoulder. Guess Kino also didn't expect to hear this kind of bad news. "Jungkook, you got to be strong. It's her fate and we can't deny what the God wants,"

Jungkook's bottom lip quivered and tears began to well up in his eyes. "I can't, Kino. How I'm going to be strong if I can't live without her? You know how was me when she left me before? I look alive but I'm dead inside. I feel like I'm dead but why the hell my body is still breathing?! Why I can't just die instead?" he shouted painfully and hitting his own chest hard for several times.

Jungkook cried as if the ferocity of it might bring his love back; as if by the sheer force of his grief the news would be undone. She was his precious, his only lover and she could not be gone. Even from the top of the hospital corridor, the passersby craned to locate the source of the screaming sobs, wondering what makes someone famous like him would mourn so hard. Kino tried to hold his back, to calm him, even as his own tears fell thick and fast but in Jungkook's hysteria he was too strong, too wild.

In that moment of loss my world collapsed - where there was light became shadows, the pain coming and going like waves on frigid sand. Though my mind called out for yours the connection was gone... you were gone... and finally I knew that my time to be really alone had come.

A glimpse of Jungkook's memory...

His face warmed as she crept closer and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He normally does not like skinship but this felt different. He longed for it; he craved it. The way her nimble hands caressed his face, or her gentle eyes met his own. Her beauty was incredible; his heart was falling for her by the second.

Jungkook's arm draped over her waist as they lay down together on the beach. Y/N lent in for a kiss, the kind she wanted to last forever, but after a time she withdrew to gaze at the face she loved so much. He glided his hand over her skin to her face, brushing away a little sand. "Have I ever told you I love you?"

Y/N grinned, thinking maybe he already asked the exact same thing every time. "No, uh uh," she shook her head and fought away the grin.

Jungkook's hand had migrated to her hair, pushing it back from her face. "Well, I do. And you know what?" She heard the words before he said them, folding her lips inwards. "I always will." As always she dropped her gaze before meeting his, there was intensity to it, like his love was kerosene and she was his only flame.

How was he to put their love into mere words? An entire ocean of ink wouldn't be enough to describe them. They were a starburst of light amongst the darkening dusk. They were all the stars in the sky condensed into a single point. They were everything and nothing at the same time. Together, they were both a beautiful dream and a catastrophic nightmare.

They were in love.

I have lived long enough to know that what we share I can't replicate with another. This love, this feeling, is just you and me. I could travel the world and the seven seas; I'd still have to come right back here if I wanted true love. It's not that nobody else wants me, or you, but that we were born to spark and run the same course. We are the protectors of one another, confidents and true friends. The trust I give you, that you give me, is what keeps us safe in this world, in this life. So whether this heart beats another day or another hundred years - it is yours.

Love and sorrow, the twins... the love comes first sweet and strong, then the sorrow that we shall never again be together in this life. I can only pray that we will be reunited in the next, that God would see fit to give us more time. But for now the loss is more than my heart can take and I feel the dark clouds looming in from above to obscure the sun. If love is a divine gift then sorrow is also, for in its enormity is the proof of what used to be.

When I lose you, I often lie awake at night, when the world is fast asleep, and take a walk down memory lane with tears upon my cheeks. The moment you died my heart was torn into two, one side filled with heartache, the other died with you. Remembering you is easy, I do it every day but missing you is heartache that never goes away. I hold you tightly within my heart and there you will remain. Until the joyous day arrives, that we will meet again, Y/N, the one and only love of my life...

For as they love they accept the pain to come, that in their world they are mortals born to live, age and die. But when his time came to lose her, he wanted to be lost with her, to take that step into the unknown at her side. He resented those who reached out to him, to prevent him following her departure. So now, now in this grieving that never ends, he dedicates the rest of his life to her memory and spend each night alone.

"Jungkook, please..." Kino's voice trembles as he tried to hold his grief when seeing his friend in the worst state he ever seen. "You need to get yourself together. Remember, Eva needs you. Your daughter needs her father, Jungkook. Have you ever imagine if Eva lose both of her parent while herself still doesn't know about you as her biological father? I know you will never get over of her death for the rest of your life but please, Jungkook, please... I'm begging to you... Please think about Eva's future too..."

Jungkook cried as if his brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of his every pore. From his mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around them were suddenly wet with tears. He grabbed onto a chair so that his violent shaking would not cause him to fall and from his eyes came a thicker flow of tears than he had cried for even his own mother the previous years. The whole world had vanished for him, now there was only pain enough to break him, pain enough to change him beyond recognition.

Eva... How I'm going to tell you about your mother, sweetheart? How I'm going to say that Mummy already left us two in this world? How Appa will going to face you now knowing that I was the reason Mummy passed away? And how I should seek your forgiveness for separating you with your mother when I know you are at the times needed her the most? Seeing my little girl crying and in pain of losing someone for that I couldn't bear to see without a heartache. You don't deserve this heartbreak, Eva... You don't deserve this...

"Jungkook..." the soft yet weak voice called him. Mark appears with his swollen face because of the nonstop cries since afternoon. "Come... Let's meet Y/N." Mark gasped with a heavy breath. "I want to see her for the last time," Jungkook can't help but to bite his lower lips, his chin started to wobble seeing his enemy was also bathing with tears.

Struggling to hold back the grief, tears flow steadily, silently down immobile face, feel bruised inside, numbness, emptiness, walking behind Mark Tuan, saying goodbye although she is gone already, the soul unwilling to acknowledge the finality of death,

"I'm sorry but there's no Y/F/N registered in this hospital." The staff told him, expressionless while keeping his hand busy with computer. His swollen eyes with some tears left grew bigger before turning his head to Mark. He was lost. Jungkook had no idea what he just heard but seeing Mark also in disbelief, he knows something had gone wrong. And strange.

"No way. She's here. We just did caesarean on her dead body." He quickly denied, disapproving the news he just received. Although deep down in his heart he was hoping that she is still alive, he knew it will not going to happen even his life was traded for it. She's already gone and he witnessed her departure with his own eyes. And now someone just informed him that her body isn't in this hospital? What nonsense is this?

His face turned red and he's going to blow up in any minute from now on. He's feeling mad, impatience and tired. Tired of every bullshit he had to face for these past years. Yes, he did aware those are the consequences of his wrong steps, his wrong decision and turning everything upside down. His family, his mother, his wife, his daughter and his life. To be honest, he can't take it anymore. This torment. It was really hurting him so badly.

"Wait a minute, Jungkook. Where's Park Chanyeol?" Mark who stand still beside him, sounded out of sudden, making Jungkook realized something.

He balled his hand into fist as his eyebrows gathered, "Park Chanyeol?"

"He's here before isn't?" Mark keeps his head busy looking around them. His panic expression didn't leave his face since they know what kind of problem they might facing right now.

"Don't tell me this is his actual plan!" Unexpectedly, he hit the staff desk right in front of him hard, letting out his anger. His eyes focused on that staff, glaring at him madly. "Where is she?! Tell me before I could kill you!" he shouted angrily before grabbing the staff collar and bringing him close.

"I- I- I don't know, sir." The staff stuttered cowardly with sweats started to cover on his face. Jungkook could smell his fear and he knows this staff must really know something about this case.

That was the breaking point of his patience. He reached out. He went to punch him in the face. When his fist came in contact the staff fell to the floor wailing in pain, as Jungkook quickly tackled him and held him down so he could not fight back. "That bastard leave this hospital with her body isn't? Tell me what he had done!"

"I really don't know, sir. Please don't hit me!" the staff begged him cowardly making Jungkook more piss off and he couldn't help but to smack him over the head with the flat of his hand. The staff looking seriously doubtful whether he could've escapes anyway as Jungkook's fist continued to hit his face.

Mark who witnessed everything trying to hold his anger because he knew what's coming if he started to put hands on this staff too. He could ended up to be a murderer if do so. And he can't simply torture other people like he had done before. Mark promised to himself he won't repeat the same mistakes again, knowing that he had become a father.

"How about that? Are you still going to say the same thing again?!"

The staff shook his bleeding head, his face was about to cry. "Please don't kill me. I really really don't know about the body you are searching,"

Every time he opened his mouth Jungkook got angrier. This is not the answer he wanted. Rage builds like deep water currents. He did everything right - everything -and still this place is a God damn mess. Everything they have is what he made and they squander it like ill-raised children. That's when his anger comes, unleashed without thought of consequence. Even those that didn't earn this wrath today earned it at some point. He expect sorrow, apologies, regret, repentance... none comes. They are angry that their perceived "servant" has turned - apparently he have no right to the negative emotions they tout with pride on a daily basis.

He lifted his fist about to give him another punch before he heard something shattering. As Jungkook turned his head, he noticed a few broken glasses were everywhere on the floor. He took a glance at Mark behind, realizing his changing violent attitude. That was the first time he saw Mark was in fully rage and his expression didn't show him in pain at all seeing how tight he gripping the sharp glass in his right hand.

Mark rushed to them with his furious look, "Step aside, Jungkook. I had enough this time!" He quickly pushed Jungkook away from that staff who was still trying to endure the pain. He brought his bloody hand still holding tight the glass close enough to that poor hospital staff's face. Mark's blood fell droplet by droplet on his opponent cheek, looking frightened to the beast side he had changed.

"Now think rationally before you give me an answer, loser. If you won't tell me what I want to hear, this will slash your neck right before you could even realize," he laid the sharp glass by force, close enough to his neck until the staff starting to gulp down his own fear. Mark smirked, "Now I dare you to say it on my face again!"

"No! No! Please don't kill me! I know! I know something alright!" the staff mumbling in frightening. "I heard one of those guys said about Sky House. Please spare my life, sir! I don't know anything about Sky House." He cried aloud, begging Mark to not hurting him.

Both of them glared to each other.

Sky House, huh?!

༻♡༺

A month later...

"Have Park Chanyeol come to his office today?" his eyes took a quick glance towards the left side mirror. After making sure his line was car free, he quickly taking another opposite road and speeding his car without thinking twice. He was in a rush.

"It seems like he's still hiding in his Sky House," the usual negative response from Kino was enough making his face contorted.

"Where the hell Sky House is exactly?" he murmured alone before responding to Kino through this call. "Just keep your eye on Park Legacy. Who knows he probably come to his office today. I need to know the location of Sky House as soon as possible!" he commanded, looking serious on his driving.

Kino's voice is all over the car as Jungkook put him connected with a speaker. "It's been a month since Y/N disappeared and to be honest, I doubt Park Chanyeol would bring her to the Sky House. He might escapes to oversea with her,"

Hearing what Kino just said, Jungkook quickly denied "It's too risky, Kino. If Y/N is still alive now, her condition won't allow her to move further than Korea. Have you get information about Park Chanyeol's assistant? As long as I could remember, he was there too, on the day Y/N got shot..."

"Yeah, I already got his details but it's not quite reassuring to me actually. His full name is Jeon Wonwoo, age 28 and has been working with Park Legacy for five years now. An orphan, no sibling and there's no exact home address as stated in his profile. Weird isn't?"

Jungkook snorted, laughing at Kino's innocence yet disgust on how Park Legacy running some business, "Park Legacy can do anything, even faking someone identity. I don't find it weird because I know what kind of game Park Brothers are capable to gamble. If you saw his assistant come out from their building, just follow him wherever he headed. It might lead us to Sky House,"

"We had tried it every single day, Jungkook and none of them shown us the real location of Sky House. They probably knew we have been following them, that's why they brought us to the wrong direction..."

"I won't give up, Kino. Not until I get to see Y/N with my own eyes. Y/N or only her body, I don't fucking care! If she's already dead by now, at least let me have her body beside me and Eva. Let me keep Y/N with me. Park Chanyeol doesn't have any right to take her away from her daughter,"

Kino sighed across the phone. Maybe he just realized how stubborn Jungkook is right now, or maybe how determined he is, wanting to find Y/N. Kino knows well enough what kind of person Jungkook is and he should aware to not saying things which might let his spirit down. The negative words would never break him inside but only bringing rage to his flaming fire.

"I'll tell them later. Are you coming to the office today?" Kino asked about his whereabouts.

"Probably after lunch. I'm on my way to Dad right now. It's his anniversary today..." he replied with eyes still focusing on the road. He speeds on his car whenever he has chance to.

The biggest reason he built JK Group is because he really loves being on the road and driving as fast as he could. Maybe that's his true talent besides singing; and he wanted it to become one of his dreams that he needs to achieve. By building an empire and manufacture cars he used to drool about through drawing since he was little.

"Ah I see. It's been a while you didn't see your parent. Are you bringing Eva too?"

"No, I didn't tag her along. You know how scare she is with the graveyard," Jungkook said smiling happily whenever he thought about his little girl. One of the greatest gifts he has ever gotten is his daughter. It's just a whole different thing and his life has been a blessing since then.

He heard Kino lets out a small laugh, "I totally forgot about that. So how is she now?"

"What do you mean by how is she? You just saw her yesterday,"

Jungkook slowed down his car when he saw traffic light ahead already turning red. By then, he heard Kino's voice becoming clearer from his phone. As soon his car stops, he grabbed the phone from his cell phone holder located on the dashboard before glued in on his right ear.

Kino replied to him, "LOL. Today and yesterday are two different days and people won't feel the same feelings on two days straight, Jungkook. She ain't robot."