«i wake up as if I had been shattered»

—

✎

"I can't do this anymore!" Seojun threw his pencil on the table and covered his face in frustration. I grabbed his pencil and attempted to give it back to him, "we're almost done," my voice spoke gently.

He glared at me before snatching the writing utensil out of my hands. Seojun scribbled on the mini poster and it obviously looked rushed, but I didn't say anything about it even though I wanted it to look neat.

"Just write a few more sentences then we're finished," I assured him as I began to put my things away.

Seojun once again threw the pencil on the table, "done."

I looked at our mini poster and smiled, "it's perfect." I put every single one of my things into my bag before standing up to leave. However once again, I was stopped by a tight grip on my bag.

"Can I talk to you about what happened the other day?" Seojun asked quietly.

I spun around anxiously and gulped, "sure."

He sighed and looked down at his lap, "I didn't mean what I said last week. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," Seojun didn't appear to be remorseful, almost as if someone forced him into this apology.

I pulled my bag away from him, "did Jukyung tell you to apologize?" I questioned him with a hint of anger in my voice.

His eyes shot up, "why are you asking that?"

Rage pulsed through my veins. I sneered at him, "you don't even mean this apology," I stomped out of the library. Leaving Seojun behind.

Of course there's no where for me to sit.

I left the lunch line and decided to make my way to the bathroom. Right as I was about to exit the cafeteria, I bumped into a strong body.

"I'm sorry," I immediately apologized and refused to make any eye contact with the person.

"Why'd you leave the lunch line?" The person asked, "you're not going to eat?"

Still avoiding any eye contact, I quickly responded, "I just remembered I brought my own lunch," I glanced over the shoulder of the person in front of me, "excuse me," my voice spoke nicely.

The person scooted to the side and left some space for me to walk out. I muttered a thank you before exiting the cafeteria, refusing to look at the person I had this short conversation with.

As I was strolling over to the bathroom I heard a loud group of boys near them. My feet began pacing even faster to avoid any interaction with them.

"Hey Bae Yeeun," a voice shouted that only made me freeze.

I looked over to see Seojun and his group of friends. He leaned up from the wall and slowly walked over to me, he placed his hands in his pockets and smirked before speaking, "avoiding everybody in the cafeteria again?"

I gave him a blank expression. The anger overtook me but I needed to appear calm. I looked at him up and down, "a dumbass like you shouldn't even be speaking on other people," hissing back before I entered the bathroom.

His friends gasped and some even giggled. Seojun's eyes widened in anger as veins popped out his neck. "You little-" he shouted but I couldn't hear the rest of his sentence because I was already in the restroom.

Maybe I should just go to the social worker again.

I exited the bathroom but got blocked by Seojun. He placed himself in front of me and laughed, "you think you can disrespect me like that?"

I raised an eyebrow, "what? You expect me to stay quiet?"

Seojun pressed his lips together, "yes."

I crossed my arms, "you know I don't understand why you're so rude to me when I've never done anything to you."

His jaw dropped, lifting both eyebrows in disbelief, "are you kidding me?" Seojun sneered, "you almost got me in trouble with Mr. Han!"

"Because you refused to do the project with me!" I shouted back.

Right as we both began shouting nasty words to each other, one of his friends cut the argument short, "Hey!" His friend yelled out.

He began smiling, "why don't we all go out to eat after school so Yeeun and Seojun can get along?" He turned back to the rest of the group for approval and they all nodded.

"No" Both Seojun and I responded at the same time.

"Yes!" His friends shouted back happily.

Seojun turned to look at me, "you better not start any problems," then he stomped away angrily down the hallway. I glanced at his friends, giving a small smile, and returned to the bathroom.

Hours flew by before it was time to be dismissed from school.

I felt a pat on my shoulder and looked up to see Seojuns friends. They all grinned widely and I could only awkwardly smiled back. One of them grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, "let's go!"

I followed them with no other choice. I turned my head to see Seojun walking besides me, ignoring any eye contact with me.

"There's a restaurant 10 minutes away," one of his friends said.

I paused, "can you please let go of my hand," the rest also stopped in their tracks and my hand was free from their grip. Seojun continued on walking though.

"Hey Han Seojun!" One of his friends yelled out, "wait for us!" They all ran to him and left me behind. I continued my steps and quickly followed them.

We finally arrived after minutes of walking. The boys and Seojun found a table. Coincidentally the only empty seat was right next to Seojun. I hesitated for a moment before planting myself on the seat.

Seojun still refused to look at me.

"I'll order the best food for us," one of his friends assured us.

"Why are you so far?" Seojun whispered to me. I slightly scooted my seat closer to his to avoid any further conversation with him, "not that close," he scolded me.

I turned to look at him and bit my lip, "can you stop complaining?"

Before he could respond, one of his friends shouted at us, "no arguing! Peace only!" They all giggled before going back to their childish conversation.

We both sat awkwardly in silence for a few seconds until Seojun finally spoke up and cut the quietness short, "do you have a problem with Jukyung?" Seojun asked me.

I shook my head, "no," I answered him, "why?"

He turned to me, "because she told me you ignored her that day in the bathroom," Seojun seemed to be upset at that.

I stared at the utensils in front of me, "I didn't want to talk to her because I knew she would tell you what I said," my voice muttered.

"Hm," Seojun responded. I waited for him to say more but then he turned his attention to his friends and joined in on their conversation. I lost myself in my thoughts and felt a sense of relief that he wasn't speaking to me anymore.

After a while our food finally came. It was plates full of side dishes and a grill with uncooked meat.

Seojun handed me a plate and I watched everyone begin to grill the meat and grab from the side dishes.

Suddenly Seojun snatched my plate away from my hands and placed small portions of each side dish onto my plate, "since you just want to sit there," I saw the annoyance on his face as he returned the plate back to me.

I looked away from him and quietly muttered a thank you.

"Ooooo," his friends teased him, "Seojun helping Yeeun?" They all giggled and made kissy faces to him. Seojun raised his hand, "stop it!" He shouted and they all went silent.

I laughed quietly and ate my food.

Eventually the meat was done being grilled and everyone took pieces, I reached out for a piece and accidentally elbowed Seojun in the face. I dropped my utensils and quickly apologized, "I'm sorry I didn't mean that," I panicked and looked over his face, "are you okay?"

Seojun had his hand on his eye and turned to give me a dark expression, "I don't know why you were invited when you're always causing problems."

I slowly backed away from him as my eyelids drooped and mouth turned downwards.

Not wanting to be here anymore, I reached into my bag and left some cash on the table. I rushed out the restaurant but heard multiples voices shouting for me.

"Wait Yeeun don't leave!"

"Yeeun ignore him!"

"I'll switch seats with you if you want!"

His friends begged me loudly but I kept my head up and ignored their pleas. I refused to return back to the restaurant and allow myself to be a punching bag for Seojun.

I just want this school year to end already.