So, I started to talk to Tommy again.

I opened up discord for the first time in almost a week, and I saw a reign of messages from people.

I wanted to check over them later- since as soon as I got online and unblocked Tommy- he started spamming me with calls.

'what the actual fuck-'

I answered the call as quick as I could- him leaving and joining a few times before finally getting into the call officially.

"Ello' woman" Tommy greets me.

"Why the spam of calls?" I asked, "Surely one call would've been fine."

"Well- I'm sorry. You're the one that blocked me-" Tommy mutters.

"Mhhnnn.. I sure did... Sorry about that once again-" I apologie.

"No sweat-" He assures me.

"Any who- how about we do a little catching up? Like- y'know... hows things going with the SMP?, with life?" I bring up.

"Do you really want me to go through all that has happened? Haven't you been keeping up?" Tommy then lets out a sigh, "and here I thought you were a fan..."

"Bruv- just tell me what's been happening" I say, leaning forward and placing my arm on my desk. I propped it up and rested my head on it, awaiting the long tale.

"Okay- okay- uhhh... How do I even start..?" He mumbles to himself.

"The day I left. Go from there." I uttered to him.

"Uhh-- Alright, so..."

I ended stream shortly after all that happened.

'I needed to talk to Dream.'

I went over to find Dream's profile and I started messaging him.

Today at 10:50 pm

Dream

I need to talk to you big D

Today at 10:51 pm

what is it tommathy?

Today at 10:51 pm

WTF DREAM

What happen with Y/N????

Today at 10:52 pm

Y/N? what are you talking about tommy?

what about her?

Today at 10:52 pm

SHES GONE!

She left and she blocked me!!

Today at 10:53 pm

wait

she did that?

Today at 10:53 pm

YES

YES SHE DID

Today at 10:53 pm

cant you message her somewhere else? like twitter or insta?

Today at 10:53 pm

NO

NO I CANT

DREAMMMM

Today at 10:54 pm

oh my god-

just calm down tommy

Today at 10:54 pm

NO I WONT CALM DOWN

She left Dream.

she just left

Today at 10:55 pm

look

im sure we can try and message her if you're so worried

Today at 10:55 pm

she probably blocked you guys too

Today at 10:56 pm

her doing that was quite unexpected ngl

didn't think she was the type to block people

Today at 10:56 pm

Y/N told me that you helped her with her lore

did you know she was going to do this?

Today at 10:57 pm

okay- yes and no

I knew that she wanted everything shes done on the smp to be erased, i helped her with that, and we agreed that she'd leave the smp afterwards. but i didn't know she would delete twitch and block you on discord

Today at 10:59 pm

Do you have any idea why she did what she did?

Today at 10:59 pm

i mean-

kind of??

i dont fucking know dream

Today at 11:00 pm

id say to just respect her wishes

but you seem to care about her a lot, right?

Today at 11:00 pm

im worried because she's my friend

Today at 11:01 pm

uh huh

then ill do what i can

just try to go on with your life in the meantime

Today at 11:01 pm

thanks big man

Today at 11:02 pm

no problem you problem child

ill keep you updated

Today at 11:02 pm

o7

I managed to get on with my day after a restless night of sleep.

I was so worried. So incredibly worried.

Like- did I do something wrong? Did I say something that I shouldn't have?

Dream got back to me, saying that Y/N hasn't responded to him at all yet.

The only other thing he mentioned to me is some lore information... Just between me and Y/N's character.

"I... I did something wrong, didn't I?"

Currently I was in a call with Wilbur, Philza and Technoblade. It was originally just me and Wil in the call, but Techno was dragged in here along with Philza right after I told Wilbur what happen-- or rather, after twitter kinda blew up over Y/N's sudden disappearance.

"I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong, Tommy" Philza assures me.

"I don't know... maybe he did" Techno says, voice sounding monotone as usual.

"...you're not helping, Techno" Philza mutters.

"But- really Tommy... Are you sure you didn't do anything wrong?" Wilbur asked.

"I don't know!!" I suddenly exclaimed. After realizing my faults, I shrunk in my chair once more and let out a long exhale, "I- I really don't fucking know you guys..."

There was a long pause of silence in the call before someone spoke up.

"Has- uhh... Y/N gotten back to Dream yet?" Wilbur questioned.

"No... She hasn't messaged him back..." I responded.

"What? did she block him too?" Techno queries.

"no...." I replied, "...like- seriously... why did she block me? and- and only me??"

Wilbur cleared his throat.

"Okay- look Tommy. This has happen to me multiple times--"

"I don't think it's time to joke around, Wil...." Philza tells him.

"Right- right-..." Wilbur lets out a quick chuckle, "But- Tommy. I'm sure we'll be able to help you find closure in what's happen. I'm sure she'll be able to message back at some point. Maybe-- uhh... she has a curfew...?"

"Tommy, just move on." Techno tells me in a affirming way, "People come and go. If somebody wants to go, just let them."

I opening my mouth, but stopped myself. I wanted to lash out at Techno just then without even meaning to. I bit down on the inside of my cheek in a way to stop myself from saying anything unnecessary, as well as fiddling with the cuffs of my sleeve. Just a method to clam myself down.

"...I can't move on though. That's the thing." I finally spoke, "Techno. You're saying it like it's so easy- but it's not. It's fucking not."

I thought back to all the good times I had with Y/N.

The times she made me laugh, the times she made me angry and annoyed, the times where we were just chilling and enjoy each others company.

Whenever I made a joke that made her laugh- it felt like an accomplishment in a way....

Then I thought back to the messages Y/N sent me the day prior. I remember each and every word she said- I couldn't help it, they stuck in my mind....

She pretty much told me to forget about her. To pretend that she never came into my life.

But I can't do that.

There's no way I'd do that.

There's no way I can just let someone like her go.

She made me more excited to go onto the smp everyday. From the first time I spoke to her- she really had me. She really did have me...

"I.... I really didn't want her to go..." I quietly stated.

"Tommy..." Wilbur quietly said.

"Then it's settled. We're going to help out too..!" Philza declared.

Techno made a few weird sounds out of genuine surprise before ending off with his famous saying...

"heh??"

"We'll message her every day until she responds" Philza stated.

"Hey, Phil- I don't know about this-" Techno mutters.

"It's better than not doing anything at all! I mean- come on, when was the last time you've seen Tommy this down?" Philza asks.

"...I guess so" Techno sighs, "fine, I'll help out too"

"Yeah, me too!" Wilbur says.

A managed to smile for the first time all day.

"....thanks you guys"

I went and streamed the Dream SMP today.

I promised I would, so I did.

I made sure to try and be my usual energetic and loud self, but I wasn't feeling it. Chat seemed to notice too. I made sure to ignore the questioned asked though, and when dono's pulled through asking, I deflected and said I was fine.

I logged on as per usual and once I loaded in, I came to terms with where I was last on. I was where everything happened last stream- Y/N's final logging off point.

I just stared out at the landscape and sighed, looking down a bit before I began to walk away.

"Alright boysss--!! Let's get onto it!"

There wasn't any particular plan for today's stream... But I knew there was still a bit of time before the main lore event of this stream.

"I had something I wanted to build today- So, I guess we're doing that"

I walked down from where I was and headed over to my house in Manberg. The one that was L'manberg's embassy.

"Now that I'm no longer in exile... I can walk through here as a free man! As it was meant to be" I state, finally arriving at my house.

But, upon walking into my house, I come to see... Something that completely threw me off.

I walked closer to the creature that was in the middle of my chest room in a small pool of lava, tied to a fence post to stop it from moving too far out.

Once I got close enough to it, I saw the name tag rested above.

"Leg's 4 Days...."

It's Y/N's strider.

Why is it here?

I looked a bit around to see a chest beside the lava pool with a sign that says: "To Sir. Innit".

Opening the chest, there was a piece of paper- as well as a single corn flower and a fishing rod that had fungus attached.

I took both the flower and the rod, then when I was about to take the paper- I saw it was renamed to say something.

"A little piece of me to you. - Y/N" I read out loud.

Y/N...

Why are you doing this to me?

I took the paper and closed the chest, taking Leg's 4 Day's off the fence post and leading them back up to follow me.

"...I guess you can stay with me" I muttered out, smiling a bit.

I proceeded to get back to what I was meant to be doing-- getting resources like blocks and tools. After getting all the recourses, I headed out with Leg's 4 Days.

Down the paths, I saw Ghostbur frolicking around as happy as can be.

Upon noticing me, Wil joined the call.

*ding*

"Hello Tommy..!" Ghostbur walks up to me, and upon getting closer, he observes the strider beside me "...why do you have a strider with you? when did you get it? Is it your pet? And- why is it called 'Legs 4 Days'..?"

"It's- it's not mine Ghostbur- It was Y/N's" I answered.

"...Uhmm, I'm sorry Tommy... But- who's Y/N?" Ghostbur questioned.

Yep. This is what Dream was talking about with me... This is what he had planned for in Y/N's lore.

Of course I had to agree with doing it. Because- I didn't want Y/N's memory to die.

I still wanted to remember her.

"...no one that you'd know" I replied, words coming out more coldly than ever.

"Oh! okay!" Ghostbur replies, cheery. "Oh- he's getting cold..! You should really warm them up"

"Will do" I let out a small chuckle.

This is how things will be on the SMP from now on... I guess...

I laid in my bed, checking my phone and constantly re-reading Y/N's messages.

'I miss talking to her... I really do'

I tried once more to look for an answer to why Y/N left. A different and more meaningful answer.

'Come on... I learnt to read between the lines in school. Why isn't it working??'

"Oh- fuck this" I hissed out, tossing my phone to the side, allowing it to land on the foot of the bed.

There's no news about Y/N- And I've just been scrolling through social media all morning.

I need to actually get up. I can't be like this anymore.

So, I sat up from my bed and went down stairs to the kitchen, just for some breakfast.

I didn't have anything too fancy, just some toast and porridge with a bit of A star british tea.

I sipped my cup as I stared out the window, admiring the outside world for a moment.

'Honestly forgot about how bright it is in the morning...'

I've recently just been in my room 24/7, only going out if I needed to eat or go to the toilet. But usually- I ate later in the afternoon, or even wait until night to actually go out and eat.

Really though, I've just been laying in my bed. Either on my phone or just doing nothing. I would go on my computer just to check up on any discord activity... but right afterwards I'd just go back to bed.

There was rarely ever light let into my room since Friday. I turned into a complete shut in after all that happened. I was the definition of the term "going dark".

Y/N leaving just hit me hard. I didn't even know why.

I guess I cared about her too much...

But- over such little time? Why am I taking it so bad...?

I let out a sigh as I came to realize I have already ate all my breakfast and drunk all of my tea.

'I didn't even notice'

I got up and hand washed my dishes, setting them aside on the drying rack once it was finished. Afterwards, I went back up to my room.

I was talking with Tubs a bit- just talking about general stuff like life and smp related stuff.

It took my mind off things for a bit, but my mind would always side track back to the thought of Y/N.

"So- you have college again tomorrow-- are you excited??" Toby asked me, genuinely curious.

"does it look like i'm excited?" I questioned, looking directly at my phone camera.

"Well... No- I guess not." Toby answered, shrugging. "How are you doing by the way?"

I told Toby about what happened- and he also was told by Twitter.

He was also helping out with messaging Y/N. It's not like it'd really be of help though... She hasn't messaged any of them at all... She's probably left them unread--- but then again, she could've just not seen them at all.

Either way, no response or even a bit of a reaction from her.

"I've had a rough few days... I'm not even sure if I'm even able to go to school... should I just make mum call in sick?" I asked.

"Not a good idea. You can't lie to your mother." Toby says.

"ugh.. I guess you're right, Toby" I sighed. "But I'm not sure if I even want to go"

"Just go..!" Toby tells me, "It's better if you go out rather than keeping yourself cooped up inside again. When was the last time you breathed fresh air?"

"...yeah, you're right" I mumbled.

"Good, good. But- uhh.. hey! Maybe we can meet up this weekend if you're down-- unless you have things to do." Toby suggested.

"I'm down, it's just-- Uhh- I might have things to do, but I'll message you later on if I'm free." I said.

"Aight!" Toby says, giving me a thumbs up. "Stay strong big man. I'll talk to you later."

I saluted to him.

"Cya dude"

And our call ended there.

"And that's that..." Tommy concludes. Only telling me the basic and main details of the events past the previous days.

"Wow. All that happened?" I questioned.

"Pretty much..." He responded.

"I'm actually surprised that you're looking after my strider." I muttered, "I thought you'd just let it be left in the wild"

"And- why the hell would I do that??" He asked, raising his voice if baffled at my assumption.

"Meh, I don't know Tommy- why wouldn't you do that?" I say.

"Because--"

"Because what...?"

"It was your strider" He answered.

A smile tugged on my lips.

"Awwww.... So you kept it because it was mine?"

"Well- I couldn't just let my saviour be homeless" He responded with.

"Mhhhnnn..." I hummed with a sigh, "fair enough, innit."

Why do I do this to myself again?

I enjoy talking to him.... I like talking to him like this.

But- there's still apart of me that wants more.

Such far away worlds we are in...

In the end... Even if I become a little special to Tommy, I'll never be more than just his friend.