I have been up all night not able to sleep at all. And I knew that mom wasn't also sleeping, I mean how could we after the horrible news we received. I saw it as a punishment for all the haram things I had done the past few weeks. According to mom this was all a test from Allah, if she only knew what I did..

*5 hours earlier*

"What? No! It can't be!" my mom said in denial.

I stood up and looked one officer directly in the eye.

"What is the name of the guy that was killed today?" I asked.

"Bourdini." He replied.

"Oh my God, so it's really him." I said as tears were streaming down my cheeks.

My mother kept crying and crying like her heart was ripped out of her chest. I was also heartbroken from the news but I have never heard anyone this sad in my life. I grabbed my mother and hugged her tightly, the officers were still waiting so we could answer some questions because his death was turned into a murdercase.

After hugging my mother for a few seconds my brain was operating normal again after that shocking news. Normal is a big word, it was rather looking for a way out of this hellish moment. And it was at that moment my brain found a way out.

"Wait a sec." I said. I stopped hugging my mother and turned back to face the officers again.

"What is the first name of the victim?" I asked.

"We will have to call someone for that", the officer replied.

"Then do that." I responded annoyed. Who doesn't know the first name of their victims?

"Honey we don't have other family with the same last name."

"Yes we do, but I'll explain later." I said.

"No Safia this is crazy, you.."

"Mom just shut up and you go give me a fucking first name." I shouted to both my mom and the officers.

One officer, who I think was in control, gave another one the sign to call for the name. He went back to their car and I saw him calling the office through the radio.

I was hoping that they had the wrong person, not that I want anyone else death, but my brother means much more to me in my eyes than some other guy I hardly knew.

The officer then came back and said, "Amin Bourdini?"

"No! You're lying, Amin can't be dead! CALL AGAIN!" I shouted.

"Miss, It is your brother, I'm sorry." The officer said as he also showed us a picture of his driving license on his phone.

My mother than took me in her arms and held me while we both cried.

*Now*

And that's where I am now, in my room, crying my eyes out. After that they asked us some questions about where Amin was the entire day and who he was meeting. They said that Amin was hanging out with the wrong people. I just can't believe that Amin never told me or mom about what was going on. We have to see Amin's body this week and confirm that it was indeed him who died. I just can't believe that I lost my brother, words can not describe the feeling of losing someone you deeply care about. After non-stop crying I finally fell asleep between 4 and 5 am.

The next few days were hard, it reminded me of the time my dad passed away. We arranged everything and spent money on a lawyer so we could catch the guy who did this. My friends tried to reach out to me, but I didn't want anyone else to see me like this. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, they don't understand what I was going through. I didn't even bother to open all the text messages that Amina, Malik, Britt and Brody had send me.

..

It was the end of the week and Brody was trying to contact me in any way possible. Either through facebook or by non stop calling me.

Until one day I had no choice than to face him.

"Hi miss Bourdini, I'm so sorry for your loss. Is Safia home?" I heard Brody ask after mom opened the front door.

I was sitting on the end of the stairs listening to what they were saying.

Mom looked behind her and made eye contact with me. I shook my head indicating that I don't wanna talk to him any time soon.

School started 4 days ago again but I've decided to take another week off to deal with everything. Mom agreed with me and took also another week off from work.

We tried to tell Yassine what happened the first few days but he didn't realise what actually was going on until he saw Amin's body. They said that a child needs to see the body of their loved ones otherwise they will link the 'body under the cloth' to a horror movie. It was the most difficult day of my life.

"I'm sorry Brody but she isn't home." mom replied.

"I know she's home and she needs someone to talk about what happened or it will kill her." Brody responded.

Mom took a 5 second break until she opened the door widely to let Brody in. I ran as quickly as possible to my room because I wasn't wearing my headscarf. What was she doing, I don't wanna see him or any of my so-called friends.

"She's in her room." I heard my mom say as I arrived in my room.

I quickly put my headscarf on and heard a knock on my door.

I wasn't in the mood to talk to someone, but I couldn't ignore him forever.

"Come in." I shouted.

I hadn't seen him in more than 2 weeks and all I wanted to do was hug him and never let go, but I needed to stay strong.

Even though he started with his chemotherapy 2 weeks ago, he didn't look all too bad. He looked tired but he still had his hair, a good thing I guess.

"Hey." he said in a quiet voice.

I smiled without saying anything back.

I was sitting on my bed and Brody grabbed the chair from my desk and rolled it over to were I was sitting.

"You okay?" He said stroking my arm.

First of all, don't touch me and second, what kind of dumb question is that. Of course I'm not fine, just leave will you. That's what I wanted to say, but I didn't. It was like my mind was talking but my mouth refused to move.

"Stupid question sorry and sorry for euhm.. my euhm.. hand." He hesitated, it was cute in some way, like he was nervous. It also was like he was responding on everything my mind was saying.

"How is your chemo going?" I said when I finally found my voice.

He knew that I didn't want to talk about my brother, so he answered the question.

"Good, better than expected, I've missed you at the hospital though." He said.

Well yeah, sorry that my brother died. I got priorities man.

Tough mind, weak person.

"Good." I responded.

What do I say know.

Brody then placed the chair back and sat down besides me. He placed his hand on my left cheek and turned my head so I was facing him. I looked into his ice blue eyes and started crying like a baby.

"Brody I-I-I can't.." I sobbed as he hugged me tightly.

"I'm here love, I'm here."

~~~~~

I read every comment and appreciate the support so much!

Love,

TheSecretWritterr94

Btw; Check out 's story, it's based on this one. 💙 (Comment that I've send you)

~Edited by R3Hijabi ~