The room fell silent as everyone awaited the name of Matt's chosen victim.

Tension crackled in the air while he took his time. His eyes never wavered from mine until the last second.

He turned to his friends, a sly grin on his lips. "Freddie boy, truth, dare, kiss or swear?"

I released my breath and took a sip from my beer. My mind played on repeat Matt's words from the garden. You want me, probably just as much as I want you. Was I that transparent? I tried to concentrate on the game and step outside my thoughts, but even with Matt's focus on somebody else, he invaded each one of them.

"Nothing to hide here. Truth." Freddie smirked and leaned into the sofa, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"Is it true you used Dan's toothbrush last week?"

Zaire's shoulders trembled with laughter as Freddie sat bolt upright, a slight flush present on his cheeks. He shook his head, turned to Dan and followed it with a nod.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Fred? That's fucking disgusting, man." Dan threw his hands up, beer sprayed out of the bottle in his fist, landing on a girl standing close by. "Why couldn't you use Liv's? You basically share spit every second of the day."

Freddie shrugged and took a long sip from his drink. "I don't know. I couldn't find hers, and yours was there. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Hygiene, Fred! Hygiene and common decency. You can buy me a new toothbrush. I'm not using that one now."

Dan fell back into his armchair and crossed his arms over his chest, a sullen look on his face. I slipped him a curious glance while the rest of the crowd bit back laughter as they watched the scene unfolding in front of their eyes.

"Baby, you're up," Liv said after pecking Freddie on the mouth. I guess the shared toothbrush story didn't bother her as much as it bothered Dan.

"Matt, you dick. What will it be?" His girlfriend had her fingers curled around his deep auburn locks and he closed his eyes when she tugged on the strands.

"Pick someone else or it will just be the two of us playing at this rate."

"Oh, no. I want it to be you. They will get their turn," he said, his tone near on a moan as Liv continued to play with his hair.

"Matt's right, choose someone else, baby. You can't pick the person who's just asked. You know the rules."

"Rules? When have we ever played by the rules?" Freddie whispered something into Liv's ear and smiled when she nodded. "Fine. I'll ask Liv then. Kiss, truth, kiss, dare, kiss or swear?"

Liv giggled and playfully smacked him on the chest. "Oh, Freddie. Go on, I'll have a kiss." She closed her eyes and pouted her lips, anticipating her own boyfriend's kiss.

I scanned the room, and everyone looked happy. I should act my age and have fun but somehow I felt detached. Liv climbed onto Freddie's lap, and I grimaced as I watched their uncomfortable PDA. Uncomfortable for me because they were definitely enjoying themselves. This seemed like the perfect time to leave and stop playing, but as I went to lift myself off the floor, Zaire wrapped his hand around my wrist and tugged me back to his side.

"Stay. Here, have this Jack Daniels and relax." He grabbed the barely touched bottle from my hand and replaced it with his glass. The taste of Jack and coke reminded me of overly sweet perfume. Not that I walked around sipping perfume. I might come across unhinged, but even I had my limits.

"It's boring." I gulped the drink and gagged slightly as the last of my mouthful made its way down my throat.

Zaire raised a brow and chuckled. "Sexy face there, Bea." That name! Could he not tell I wasn't ready for him to call me that? Not yet.

"Listen, it's just started. Give them a chance, please. For me," he added, making my scowl soften.

"Fine, but let me at least grab another drink. I'll need it. Want a coke? Remember, you are driving us home."

"Nah, it's fine. CeCe's giving us a lift back. Make it a JD."

I was going to suffer from premature forehead wrinkles if I didn't stop frowning, but when Zaire mentioned CeCe's name, a horrid taste rose to my mouth. I had nothing against the girl. I thought she was beautiful and talented. She even seemed lovely, but their closeness wasn't sitting well with me. Could you still betray the dead?

I strolled into the kitchen, avoiding the guy passed out on the table, and poured myself a drink from the Tequila bottle Dan left on the counter. Unlike my previous shot, slamming this one back hadn't burned my throat. Should I have another one? One more won't hurt. The colourless liquid spilt out the sides of the glass onto my fingers. I gave them a quick lick and threw the next shot back.

How many drinks was that now? The beers didn't count. I hardly sipped them. Three shots and one Jack Daniels. I shrugged my shoulders, downed a fourth shot and hunted down the whiskey and vodka.

"Make it a double." Chucking to myself, I over-poured each measure into tall glasses and swayed to the fridge to pull out the lemonade and coke bottles. "You would be proud of my mixing skills, Saf," I mumbled, clinking the glasses together and swigged a third back. "I miss you."

Cheering and laughter filtered through from the lounge as Zaire pushed the door open. He smiled when he walked in. I adored spending time with him, but in the seconds it took him to reach me, I felt lonely. I sighed when he kissed my forehead and grabbed our drinks.

"You don't want to miss this," he said, nudging me towards the other room.

Matt no longer sat on the floor, but on a foldable chair, his shirt missing. He raised his head as I made my way to him, his mouth set in a hard line, and gave me a worried look.

"Save me, Trixie. They want to hurt me," he said, his voice void of humour, but a smile slowly crept onto his lips. My pulse quickened. Those gorgeous lips. I noticed the girls in the room eyeing him up, but his attention was solely focused on me.

Freddie and Dan snickered at his apparent discomfort. Before I had a chance to ask what was happening, Liv came bounding into the room, waving a box in the air.

"I have them. Ready to feel the burn, Mattie?" Liv pulled out some strips from the blue and pink box and threw the rest over to her boyfriend. The black trails from her make-up were smeared further down her face; wisps of blonde hair from her ponytail stuck to her forehead and temples.

I inched closer to get a better look and recognised the packaging in Freddie's hands; wax strips. They were about to wax Matt.

A bubble of laughter escaped my mouth as I turned back to the man on the chair. "What have you got yourself into?" His touch warmed my skin as he tugged me to him. "What are they waxing?" My voice lowered when I fell into him and placed my hands on his bare chest to steady myself. I could smell the beer on his breath, mixed with mint. Being this close to him messed with my senses.

"Eyebrow," he deadpanned, then chuckled as he noticed the shock on my face. "My chest. I wouldn't have taken my t-shirt off otherwise."

"Mmm, I feel you would have."

Matt had yet to let go of my wrists, keeping my hands on his chest. Time slowed, and we forgot the group gathered around us as we locked eyes. His heart drummed faster under my fingertips and I knew mine was doing the same.

"Okay you two, enough of that. We have a dare to get on with." Freddie gripped my hips, pushing me away from Matt. Heat crept up my face, and I lost my balance. I couldn't tell if it was caused by Matt or a mix of him and Tequila shots.

Liv rubbed the strips between her palms, pulled them apart and placed one of them over the scattering of dark hair on the middle of Matt's chest. He squeezed his eyes shut as she counted down and when she reached zero, Liv ripped the strip back.

Matt let out one loud yelp and held his hand to his chest, the section of skin now red against his olive complexion. Dan and Freddie, the toothbrush confession forgotten, knocked their beer bottles together and laughed. They patted Matt on the back before walking over to the sofa.

"This shit is sticky," he said as he dragged the chair into the hallway out of everyone's way.

I followed after him, a cleansing wipe from the discarded box in my hand. I ripped the packet open and carefully cleaned the leftover wax off his chest and fingers.

"Can I get a kiss? For being brave?" His Australian twang did things to my insides. But what, I couldn't quite put my finger on it at that moment, so I allowed the feeling to wash over me.

"You yelped." I flashed him a genuine smile. Something I hadn't done in a while. My hands rested on his biceps as I inched closer and planted a soft kiss on his waxed chest, followed by a second one to the bee over his heart. His breath hitched, and I lifted my head, catching his eyelids closed. When he opened them again a brief flicker of pain darkened the amber hues of his irises.

***

Matt absentmindedly toyed with the ends of my ponytail as I slouched on the floor between his open legs. He stayed silent as I ran my fingers over Zaire's shaved head, resting in my lap.

"Your head is so round," I said, focusing on the noise of my nails dragging against the invisible regrowth.

Zaire looked up. "So is yours. Have your eyes always been that small?" He squinted, shifting onto his elbows to take a closer look. "Oh no, you're drunk like me." I moved a hand to his collarbone, his weakest spot, and tickled. He scrunched his chin to his chest, his laughter filling the room.

"Shh," some girl shushed as her friend confessed to her darkest secret.

A slight snort escaped as I attempted to compose myself. Zaire bit down on his bottom lip, trying to do the same.

After a while, I lost track of the conversations as our night of truth or dare turned into some kind of confessional. No one here could top my darkest secret. I locked that one in my heart, only to revisit at night. With no desire to join in, I blocked them out. Matt helped with that task as his fingers travelled from my hair down to a spot in the middle on my neck. I relaxed into him, enjoying the lightness of his touch.

Zaire appeared to feel the same about opening up.

Or so I thought.

That dirty word love was thrown around the room and I saw the shift in Zaire's eyes. His expression sobered and he took in a deep breath. His muscles tensed against my legs, and his gaze fixed on a point in the ceiling. When the chatter in the room came to a lull, he closed his eyes and made a confession that shattered the last shard of light in my dark thoughts.

"Thought I'd found the person I'd spend the rest of my life with." He rubbed his face and sighed. "I hoped she felt the same. Bought a ring and everything."

My skin raw and burning, I listened to every word, frozen as Saffron's face haunted my mind.

"It was all planned for Christmas day. Asked her parents. I kept the ring as a reminder." Zaire's voice cracked.

I needed to move, to say something. Anything. Images of broken glass flashed behind my closed eyelids. Saffron danced over the fragments, her black clothes replaced by a flowing white gown. Pale blossoms adorned her rich brown hair in a crown; each petal fell to the floor, turning red as they hit the ground. My eyes focused on her feet. I fought the urge to look at her face. It wouldn't look like my Saffy. That face visited my nightmares and I couldn't face it right now.

I shook myself out of my trance. I was aware of Matt behind me and the weight of Zaire's head in my lap. The buzzing in my ears increased. Keep it together long enough to escape.

I brushed my fingers down the side of Zaire's face, making him glance up. "She would have said yes."

***