"Senator, let's go na po?"

I was headed to the women's convention where I was invited to be the guest speaker. Today was one of the days na I don't feel like I'm at my A game. Lately, pakiramdam ko para bang wala akong motivation to work. In between Senate hearings, meetings, and invitations, I barely had time to relax. Pero kahit nakakapagod, this was the life I chose.

I'd rather get tired of fighting for the country rather than do nothing at all.

"Sinong mga pupunta doon na other speakers?" I asked one of my staff who was seated behind me.

"Kayong dalawa po ni President Robredo ang mga guest speaker."

I thanked her and smiled to myself. On the plus side, I'll see Leni again today.

Over the time that passed since our dinner (date?) which was exactly a month, nagawa ko na 'yung pinapagawa niya, and I've accepted the fact that I'm attracted to the president.

Not too deep, though. At least not yet. Parang happy crush lang. She's a beautiful woman, intelligent, mabait, maalaga, sincere, hell I could go on describing Leni and I'll never run out of good things to say about her.

I'm glad to know I'll see her today. Ito na ata ang motivation na hiningi ko sa universe kagabi.

Nakarating na kami sa venue and we were led to one of the rooms kung saan kami maghihintay habang hindi pa start ang program.

I was reviewing my speech for later nang biglang may kumatok sa pinto.

"Good morning, Senator Hontiveros."

Instant smile naman ako dito. Kulang na lang tumakbo ako't yakapin siyang parang bata. I stood up at nag-beso with my hand resting on her back.

"Good morning, Madame President!"

She stepped inside accompanied by her staff. "Ang taas naman ng energy mo, Sen" She teased.

"Nag-milo ako eh."

Nagsitawanan naman ang lahat sa sagot ko. She went on to ask everyone how they were doing at nag-usap usap tungkol sa mga ganap sa event for the day.

"Ma'am, kanina naman wala ka masyadong energy. 'Di ka rin naman umiinom ng milo. " One of my staff who sat beside me whispered.

"Anong walang energy? I'm always full of energy kaya." Pabulong kong tanong sa kanya.

"Nako, hindi po kaya. Nakita mo lang si Ma'am Leni para kang nagka-meralco."

"Nagka-meralco?"

"Nagka-liwanag ang buhay."

I hit her shoulder lightly tapos tinawanan niya lang ako. I felt myself redden at her comment. Gano'n na ba ako kahalata? I hid my face in my hands sa sobrang kahihiyan. Hindi na ako makapagsalita.

One of the organizers interrupted us kasi the event will be starting in a few minutes. Leni and I walked side by side papunta sa stage. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti as I was enveloped by Leni's sweet scent.

Ang OA na masyado ng pagka-happy ko sa happy crush na 'to pero hindi ko talaga mapigilan. Maria Leonor, you're going to be the death of me.

After her speech, I clapped the loudest as I've always done. I saw some posts saying na I'm Leni's number one fan with pictures of me clapping enthusiastically at nakataas pa 'yung kamay since the 2016 campaign until the 2022 campaign. Totoo naman. I'll always cheer for this girl. She deserves so much more than what she's given credit for. It's one of my ways of showing na I support her and I'm proud of her.

"Galing mo talaga, kaya idol kita eh." I complimented her.

"Naman! Andito cheerleader ko eh." Nakangisi niyang sagot.

Ay ganern. I laughed awkwardly, not knowing what to say. My mood instantly changed pagkasabi niya no'n. Hindi na pala happy 'tong happy crush ko.

"Huwag kang sumimangot dyan, Sen. I was referring to you."

I looked at her face, waiting for some kind of sign that she was joking pero wala. Seryoso siya at sincere na nakatingin sa akin, a kind smile gracing her lips. I grinned back at her, "Hmm, dapat lang. Magseselos na sana ako eh."

Hindi ko na hinintay 'yung sagot niya at tumayo na ako kasi ako na pala 'yung magsasalita. But I saw from the corner of my eye na na-taken aback siya by what I said. Cute.

After the event, Leni invited us na doon na lang sumakay sa van nila since marami pa raw space and para tipid sa gas.

"Payag ka na, Ma'am Risa. Minsan lang makasama si crush." Pang-aasar na naman ng isang staff ko.

"Crush ka dyan!"

"Hala hindi po ikaw. Ako po hehe crush ko 'yung isa sa staff ni Ma'am Leni."

Pwede na akong magpalamon sa lupa talaga.

Hindi na ako nagcomment at nag-agree na lang na sumabay sa kanila. Tabi ulit kami ni Leni kaya oo na, tuwang-tuwa na naman ako.

We spent the rest of the day in meetings and had dinner bago magsiuwian. Hindi na kami sasabay kila Leni pauwi since out of the way na. Naunang sumakay 'yung mga staff namin kasi nasa CR pa kami ni Leni.

Nag-freshen up lang, walang iba. Sayang.

Joke!

I was fixing my hair when Leni stepped out of the cubicle to wash her hands. Nagkatinginan kami at tumawa. "Possessive ka pala, Ms. Hontiveros." She said.

I looked at her weirdly, hindi ko maalala kung anong tinutukoy niya. When I didn't answer, she said, "What I meant was, selosa ka pala."

"Ahh oo hehe but I was just kidding kanina."

She took a few steps closer to me, drying her hands with her handkerchief. Then she held my waist, leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "Wala ka namang dapat pagselosan. No one could ever compare to you."

I stood frozen in my spot. Ramdam ko 'yung goosebumps sa katawan ko sa pagbulong niya sakin. What she said only sunk in to me when she stepped back. Naka-smirk pa si gaga. Natameme na ako, masyado akong nabigla sa mga pangyayari. "Umm..."

"Anyway, I had fun with you and your team today, Risa. I hope we get more chances to bond like this. Mauna na ako ha, ingat ka."

"O-okay, thank you and ingat ka rin." I replied, unable to look at her in the eyes.

Just when I thought palabas na siya ng comfort room, she leaned in again and kissed my cheek. One, two, three, four, five seconds siyang nakahalik sa pisngi ko at hindi ko na naman namalayan lahat ng 'to sa sobrang pagkabigla.

She parted from me and waved good bye, leaving me stunned in the bathroom. That kiss lingered far too long than it should have. It wasn't even intended to linger; but it did.

At hindi na ako maka-kalma.

I composed myself at lumabas na ng banyo para makauwi. Throughout the whole ride home, nakatulala lang ako, replaying everything that happened earlier.

Pagkarating sa tapat ng bahay namin, I advised my staff to rest for the weekend. Bago ako pumasok ng gate, sabi ng isa sa staff kong kanina pa nang-aasar, "Nakakadagdag ganda pala kapag may kiss mark sa pisngi, Ma'am. Congrats po."

Nagmadali akong pumasok at umakyat sa kwarto ko, not even bothering to remove my shoes, at tinignan ang pisngi ko sa salamin.

A wine-colored lipstick stain was on my cheek, the mark of the kiss Leni left earlier. I ghosted my fingers above the stain and felt my heart pound, but not in a nervous way. It was more of a knowing feeling, something all too familiar.

I've fallen, Madame President. And I think I'm in too deep.