Today marks 5 days before my birthday. A few more birthdays at senior citizen na ako. Yet here I am, still elated and kilig over a kiss on the cheek.

Hindi naman first time na hinalikan ako ni Leni sa pisngi. I remember the first time she did it. It was during the 2016 campaign and I gave her a keychain with Jesse's picture and a sunflower on it as a souvenir sa isang lugar na pinuntahan namin. Tapos nagbebeso rin kami whenever we see each other hanggang sa nakasanayan na namin.

But that kiss she left on my cheek last Friday was different. It wasn't just a form of hello or good bye. It carried a much greater message na hindi ko makuha kung ano at kanina pa ako nababaliw sa kakaisip. I remembered what she told me. Na wala naman akong dapat pagselosan at...

"No one could ever compare to you."

I don't know how many times I've repeated her words in my head since that night. Napapangiti ako sa kilig, kinakabahan, naguguluhan, naliligayahan, lahat na kaloka. May hidden meaning ba 'yon or delusional lang talaga ako?

Partida, umaga pa lang pero ang dami ko na agad iniisip. Hobby ko na atang mag-overthink.

"Mama, there's a package for you." I heard Sinta shout from downstairs.

I didn't order anything online at wala namang nagpasabing may ipapadala sila sa akin or anything so dali-dali akong bumaba para tignan.

"Flowers po for Ms. Risa Hontiveros, bayad na po 'to." Sabi ng delivery guy. The bouquet had light pink and purple roses arranged sophisticatedly.

"Hello po, galing po kanino?"

"Ay sorry po, anonymous po 'yung nagpadeliver kaya hindi ko rin po alam."

Huh. Weird.

I thanked the delivery guy and signed the paper tapos pumasok na ulit sa loob.

"Wow may pa-flowers. Who sent it, Ma?" Tinabihan ako ni Sinta sa sofa. I told her na anonymous 'yung nagpadeliver that's why I have no clue kung sino. She pointed to an envelope na natakpan kaya hindi ko nakita kanina. "There's a note oh. Maybe it says there kung kanino galing."

I snapped a picture of the bouquet first before asking my daughter na picture-an ako with it. Na-flatter naman kasi ako. It was a really sweet gesture. I took the note tapos ni-rearrange ko na 'yung flowers sa vase para madisplay ko sa kwarto ko.

Sinta and I cooked breakfast and I tried to accomplish some work after eating. Seeing as I couldn't focus anymore pagkatapos magbasa ng maraming papel, I decided to open the note. It read:

It didn't have any signatories or names written na makakapagsabi kung galing kanino. Nakakacurious naman 'to, pa-mysterious pa. But I can't say na hindi ako excited malaman kung sino nagpadala nito.

I posted my picture with the flowers sa IG story ko, hoping that whoever sent it would see that I've received their gift.

A few minutes later, I received a notification na someone replied to my story. "Naks, ganda! :)" Pagkatingin ko sa sender, hindi ko napigilang mapatili sa kilig. It was Leni.

Umakyat pa si Sinta to check on me kasi bigla-bigla raw akong sumisigaw. I apologized to her and told her na wala lang 'yun.

"Sure ka ha, your face is super duper red right now."

"I'm sure, 'nak. Sorry for worrying you."

As soon as my daughter left, nag-reply ako kaagad kay Leni kasi miss ko na rin siyang kausap. "Ang aga mo naman magpakilig. Thank you, Leni 💜."

I feel like a teenager, smiling while I'm on the phone, eagerly waiting for her reply. Tumayo na ako from my desk and humiga sa kama when my phone beeped again. "Yung flowers tinutukoy ko."

Ampota. Nakakahiya.

Just when I was typing my reply, she sent another message. "I'm just kidding, Risa. Of course I meant you. Palagi ka namang maganda sa paningin ko."

Titili na sana ako ulit but I didn't want to bother Sinta again kaya I covered my face with a pillow muna bago ako tumili. Nagpagulong-gulong pa ako sa kama kasi hindi ko talaga kayang pigilan. Para akong kinukuryente sa sobrang kilig ko dito.

I breathed deeply, calming myself para makapag-type ako ng reply. Nanginginig pa 'yung mga daliri ko and my cheeks were starting to hurt from excessive smiling. I have an idea. Two can play this game, Leni.

"Buti naman. Tandaan mo selosa ako, kaya gusto ko sa akin ka lang nagagandahan."

"Sa'yo lang naman talaga."

Putangina talaga. Maria Leonor, panindigan mo 'ko!

If she and I were playing a game kung sinong unang kikiligin, then I've already lost. Kahit nga isang hello lang ata text nito mamatay na ako sa kilig.

"Good. Will I see you soon?" I replied to her message, hoping she replies with a yes.

"Maybe ;). Risa, I have to go kasi may meeting ako. Take care. I look forward to seeing you."

"Can't wait. Ingat, Leni. Don't think of me too much."

Sana kiligin siya sa reply ko kasi hindi pwedeng ako lang naglulupasay dito. I sighed deeply, wala na talaga akong kawala sa nararamdaman ko.

For the rest of the day, I kept smiling about Leni and I's conversation, completely forgetting about the flowers that came for me earlier.

4 days to go before my birthday. My staff and I were going over the projects we were organizing since this morning. Naabutan na kami ng gabi sa sobrang dami ng kailangan asikasuhin. Nagdinner na 'yung staff ko pero ako hindi pa, sabi ko sa kanila after na lang nitong last few papers na kailangan kong pirmahan.

"Ma'am Risa, may nagpapabigay po sa inyo."

One of my staff handed me a paper bag containing food. Mainit-init pa. I took the contents out of the bag and saw that they were placed in a tupperware instead of a fastfood or restaurant packaging. Someone actually sent me homemade food at mukhang masarap pa kasi bagong luto.

"Sinong nagpadala?" I asked her.

"Hindi ko po alam eh. May nagbigay lang po sa guard sa labas tapos pinapaabot po sa inyo."

Yesterday was flowers, today naman food. I thanked him and checked the paper bag again. May envelope na naman sa loob kaya agad kong binuksan. It read:

Again, wala na namang signatories or names na nakalagay para matukoy ko kung sino ba nagpadala. Natatakam na ako sa amoy kaya I decided to trust the sender na lang na walang gayuma 'to.

But even if it had, I don't think it'll work on me. After all, I've already fallen for someone else.

Habang kumakain, someone knocked on my door again. "Ma'am Risa! Mukhang Jollibee ang gabi mo dahil may bisita ka po." Ito na naman 'tong staff ko.

"Mukhang bubuyog ang gabi ko?"

"Hindi po. Mukhang bida ang saya."

"Pa'no mo nasabi?"

She took a side step to reveal who my visitor was at nabulunan naman ako pagkakita sa nakatayo sa may pintuan ko.

"Kalma, Senator. Ako lang 'to."

Nilapitan niya agad ako and handed me a bottled water. "Leni, hi." I stood up and attempted to kiss her cheek pero naunahan niya ako. Ito na naman tayo.

What if tumili ako?

From the corner of my eye, nakita kong nandoon pa rin nakatayo sa may pintuan 'yung staff ko na mapang-asar. "Ma'am Leni, mawalang galang na po pero kasama niyo po ba si Bryce?"

"Bryce na staff ko? Hindi eh, pinauwi ko na kasi late na."

"Ay sayang naman po...sana all kasama ang crush tonight."

Nang-aasar siyang tumingin sa'kin, wiggling her eyebrows. Napa-face palm na lang ako sa pinagsasabi niya. Sasabunutan ko na 'to konti na lang. Buti na lang hindi napansin ni Leni.

I motioned for her to leave the room and she teasingly winked at me tapos tumatawang lumabas at sinara ang pinto.

"Anong meron kay Bryce?" Leni asked, carrying the chair placed on the front of my desk then placing it sa tabi ko.

"Bakit mo nilipat 'yung upuan? Hindi pa kami magreredecorate."

"Gusto lang kitang katabi."

I blushed at her reply. Sana pala hindi na ako nag-blush on. Instant kamatis naman ako kapag andito siya eh. She stared at me quite intensely while she sat down kaya napaiwas ako ng tingin. Hindi ko maiwasang mahumaling sa mga mata niya. Baka mamaya mapatagal 'yung titig ko tapos ma-awkwardan siya.

"So ano ngang meron kay Bryce?"

Kwinento ko sa kanya na may crush 'yung staff ko sa staff niya tapos no'ng nakaraang pagkikita pa namin kilig na kilig. We kept exchanging stories habang kumakain ako ng dinner tapos naalala ko na hindi ko pala siya natanong kung kumain na siya.

"Hala sorry, this is so rude of me. Have you eaten na?"

She laughed at my antics. Nanlaki kasi 'yung mata ko tapos medyo nagpanic ako at tumayo para sabihan 'yung staff ko na bilhan siya ng food. Akma na akong lalabas but she caught my wrist and pulled me to her. Our faces were close to each other, bodies almost colliding, and I could smell her perfume, intoxicating me slowly.

"Kumain na ako." She replied with a voice barely above a whisper. Hindi siya nakatingin sa mata ko, kundi sa labi ko. Instinctively, I licked my lips and her grip on my wrist tightened.

"B-buti naman kumain ka na."

Sobrang tense pa rin ng atmosphere sa pagitan naming dalawa. She finally met my eyes a few seconds later and released her hold on my wrist as she sat back down. "Parehas pa nga tayo ng ulam eh." She said, clearing her throat.

I went back to my seat and drank the water she gave me. Parang biglang ang init dito sa office. Malamig naman kanina. "Really ba? May nagpadala lang nito sa akin. Ewan ko kung sino anonymous daw."

"May manliligaw ka?" She raised an eyebrow, eyeing the food on my desk.

"Secret admirer lang siguro."

"Hmm, okay. Wala talagang nakalagay kung sino siya?"

"Wala talaga eh, whoever it was left a note pero ayun lang. No names or signatures or anything."

She hummed again, still eyeing the food. 'Yung totoo, gutom ba 'to? Tinignan niya na ako ulit and nagkwentuhan lang kami habang inuubos ko 'yung pagkain. I couldn't help but feel like she was avoiding talking about my "secret admirer". Kapag binibring up ko, she'd shoot my statement down and change the topic.

l didn't take it too heavily, though. Napapangiti pa nga ako sa isip ko eh. In my mind, I thought:

You're acting like a jealous girlfriend, Madame President, eh sa'yo lang naman ako.

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Dapat talaga until chapter 5 lang 'to pero mahaba masyado 'tong chapter 4 kaya hiniwalay ko na HAHAHAHA. Thank you sa lahat ng nagbabasa!!