I wasn't very old when we lost Papa.

I remember being woken up in the middle of the night to see my parents' relatives and friends in the living room. My mom was in the center of it all with her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. My siblings were crying too.

I remember running from them as soon as Mama told me what happened. "No, this can't be happening," I thought. "I'm too young. I can't be the man Papa wants me to be."

Mama held all of us that night. She let us cry while she laid beside us. "It's okay, my love," she whispered in my ear as my body shook with sobs. "Mama's here, you don't have to worry about anything."

Mama was there through it all. She was, is, and will always be.

Looking back now, I still find it amazing how Mama was able to do it. She balanced work with her personal life, juggling her advocacies and taking care of 4 very young kids. Mama's many things all at once.

But above all that, she was our mom.

She never missed any special events in school, she made sure to check our homework and review us for important tests, she made us feel her presence despite her being busy all the time. I helped her as much as I could. Often, I'd be the one to bring my siblings to school.

"Thank you, anak," I remember Mama telling me one night that it was only the two of us in the living room.

"For what, Ma?"

"For helping me. Papa would be so proud of you."

I cried in her arms again that night. Papa would be even prouder of her for being both a mom and a dad to us.

Mama dating again was never an issue to me. Perhaps because she already made it clear that she wanted to date again. "Is it okay with you if Mama goes out with other people from time to time?" She asked.

"Do you mean have a relationship with other people? Like a boyfriend-girlfriend type of thing?"

"Yeah, that. Okay lang ba sa'yo?"

"Yes, Mama. Papa would've wanted that too."

She kissed my forehead and ran her hands through my short hair. "Thank you, anak."

I didn't quite get what she was thanking me for back then. But it was okay with me kasi we lost Papa a little too early. Earlier than any of us ever expected. Life's funny like that.

Through it all, we had good people around us. My titas, titos, other relatives, and Mama's friends. Like Tita Leni.

I saw how she took care of my siblings. She had her own children to care for during the campaign period but she looked out for us too. My younger siblings loved bonding with her children, they were all girls after all. I stood by and watched them interact with a smile on my face. My siblings deserved to enjoy, especially during stressful times like these. I watched Jillian teach Sinta how to paint her nails. Tricia and Aika found common ground with Issa and Ianna about school.

"Okay ka lang ba dyan, Kiko?" Tita Leni asked from beside me.

"Okay lang po ako, Tita." I replied, smiling kindly at her.

"Kumusta ka naman?"

I didn't have other people to bond with during that time. No children of any politician that was my age who went around campaigning with us. But I was okay. I was having fun. All because Tita Leni was the one who bonded with me.

"Wala akong anak na lalaki, so I see you as mine," she joked one time.

The memory of me telling Tita Leni about the band I play for and the things going on at my school was one of the core memories I have with her. Somehow, talking to her is different from talking to Mama. I can't exactly note the difference, but there's something about her that's just so calm and settling. Like you could be a ship trying to stay afloat in raging seas and she comes along and everything becomes peaceful.

"What were you and Leni talking about?" Mama asked after one tiring day of campaigning.

"School and band. I told her about our new gig next week."

"You enjoy talking to her?"

"Yeah. She's a really kind person."

"She is..."

Mama and Tita's friendship went on for years. So did my friendship with Tita. Of course the years drew us apart, but whenever we'd see each other, we'd go back to the habit of catching up with each other — her listening intently as I went on and on about the things I do.

It's not that hard to figure out why Mama's so close with Tita Leni. She's the epitome of comfort. Even when she says nothing, or does nothing, her simple presence is enough.

"Excuse me po, Mr. Kiko Baraquel?" A guy approached me habang nasa Glorietta kami to celebrate Mama's birthday. He looks like someone I've seen before.

"Ay hello, ano po 'yun?"

"May nagpapabigay po kay Sen. Risa, pwede po bang paki-abot sa kanya?"

"Oh, sure. Ano'ng laman nito and from who?"

"It's a book, if I'm not mistaken po. Kapag sinabi ko po sa inyo kung galing kanino, pwede pong 'wag niyong ipaalam kay Sen. Risa?"

I got even more curious at that. Looks like my mom has a secret admirer. "Sure."

"It's from VP Leni."

Kaya pala siya familiar because he's one of Tita's staff. I smiled at him knowingly.

Somehow, a part of me always knew. I didn't expect that it would become a reality of course, but if you see the way their relationship grew over the years, you'd figure it all out. If you could only see the way Mama stares at Tita Leni, with pure adoration and love on her face, you'd think, or you'd know rather, maybe there could be something more.

Something no one could ever see coming. Not even the two of them.

So I gave Mama the gift before I left, telling her that I can't say yet who it's from but she'll figure it out soon. I didn't know if something was going on between them, but concluding from Sinta's stories, maybe there truly is something more.

"Naalala mo pa ba no'ng sinabi kong wala akong anak na lalaki so I see you as mine?" Tita Leni asked as she sat down beside me.

"Opo," I laughed.

"Is it weird na by legal means, anak na talaga kita ngayon?"

"No," I told her honestly, "I'm happy I get to be your son."

I hugged her. Only then, I realized that this was the first time I ever did. I never thanked her before for the things she's done for me, my siblings, and my mom.

"Thank you, Mama Leni."

—-----------------------------------------

"I was 18 back then, being interviewed for an article that a certain media company was going to release about my mother. I remember saying that if my mother were a color, she'd be white, the presence of all. If she were a shape, she'd be a heart, love incarnate. If she were a dink, she'd be water, that which gives life. And if she were perfect, she'd be herself.

My mother meant everything to me. I value her, perhaps even more than I value my own life. Whatever I am now, I owe it to her. To the woman that she is.

Young as I was, I felt immensely responsible to look after my family. It was one of the things my dad always made me promise him before he went back to camp. Take care of your mom, take care of your siblings. Take care of our girls and never leave their side. I felt great pressure after my dad died because I thought I needed to be the father figure in the household.

But my mother soothed and eased my worries, telling me, "it's okay, Mama's here, you don't have to worry about anything."

Mama let me have my childhood, she let me live the life I wanted, my happiness was her number one priority. So when she asked if it was okay with me that she's in love with Tita Leni, the answer came easy.

Mama let me have and do everything I wanted. So when she asked if she could have the second chance at love she's always wanted, there was no doubt about it. My answer would always be a yes.

It wasn't very hard for me to understand what my mom loved about Tita. And I need not to explain that because I'm pretty sure everyone in this room already knows what I'm talking about. They're not exactly subtle with the way they interact.

Watching my mother glow like that — like she's living her best life, unbothered by the woes brought by the world, and in the arms of the woman that she loves, nothing else could make me happier.

As I finish my speech now, in front of all of you, of my siblings both old and new, and now my two moms, I look up to my dad, thank him for everything he's done for us, and say, "Pa, it looks like I have to take care of more girls now. You have to give me help though kasi there's 8 of them and 1 of me."

If my mother and Tita Leni's love were a color, it'd be all colors at once, the representation of all. If it were a shape, it'd be a circle, whole and infinite. If it were a drink, it'd be water, that which reflects wisdom, power, and grace. And if it were perfect, it'd be what it was and what it always will be.

So to my mother, and Mama Leni, who has also always been my mother in a way, congratulations and I look forward to the days we'll get to spend as a family."