《In This Town》May 1, 2022
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Alexa•
I couldn't tell you how I got home last night. The last thing I remember is taking shots with this really cute guy. I think his name was Isaiah.
Anyways, I wake up in my bed, in the outfit I was in last night. My hair messy, makeup smudged. Since it's just me at home, I don't really bother changing. It's comfortable enough to at least eat breakfast in.
I walk to the kitchen, incredibly hung over, and pull a box of cereal out of the pantry. I pour myself a bowl, and sit down at the island.
My head pounds, and I feel overwhelmingly nauseous. I swear to myself I'm never going to drink again.
I am convinced I hear the front door swing open, but there's no one I gave a key to except...
oh shit.
"Momma!" My young daughters sweet voice cheers, and she walks through the door, Jamison right behind. I don't which is worse.
"Oh my god," Jamison starts, quickly covering Evies eyes. For good reason. My dress is more than revealing and, now that I think about it, I may have a few hickeys on my neck.
"Shit," I curse under my breath, struggling to pull a sweatshirt over my head, covering at least my top half. A dirty pair of sweat pants find their way onto my bottom half.
"Go get you things Evie," Jamison says, letting her go.
"I didn't know you guys were coming over," I claim, incredibly embarrassed.
"Where we're you?" He questions, more disgust in his tone then before.
"I went out with Charlie, Sarah, and Sadie last night. I don't know why it concerns you." I scoff, taking a sip of water.
"Well, we need to work some things out, Alexa. You can keep acting like a child, but remember that we still have one to take care of." He spits.
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We awkwardly sit in a silence, when a question comes to my mind. It's a stupid question, because I already know what the answer is going to be, but I ask it anyways.
"Do you hate me?" I question. He shifts in the way he's sitting on my couch.
"I'm not talking about this with you right now." He sternly says.
"Charlie told me you never fell out of love with me. Is that true?" I ask, my heart pounding harder and harder against my chest.
"You told me she was five. You told me her dad wasn't in her life. You told me that there was a reason you moved away. I guess we both lie." He scoffs. The words impale me, one by one, slowly. I feel like i'm suffocating being this close to him right now.
Evie runs down the hall, hugging me, before running back over to Jamison, as they disappear through the door again. It kills me to see her so happy with someone else. But she deserves it.
Jamison was right. She's suffered long enough without him. She deserves to be happy with him. He's her father, and every little girl needs a hero in their life; and I am no hero.
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My favorite poems are the ones that don't rhyme. Then I feel that whatever is being said is in no way filtered. This is my diary. Read it with caution. It isn't meant to be pretty.~Warning rated MATURE for~Mentions of body dysmorphia, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, medication, and suicidal thoughtsAll Art made by https://annamachtart.tumblr.com/post/173360583758/greeting
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