Accept that you're the one who gets pushed away and declined.

Your heart is always being used as something she leans on.

A punching bag that she uses when she's feeling down.

You take the blows for her.

The stress she lies on your shoulders.

You do it because you love her.

And she's worth the time for once.

Unlike your past.

But you need to understand yourself,

For you are the light that most women will never deserve.

They'll never love like you will.

They'll never be loyal as you.

They won't invest the time like you do.

Eventually you need to stop trying because nobody wants to be with you.

And if you walk up to a woman,

You're the one who looks, "desperate".

How do you expect me to look for the love of my life if I don't go searching.

Keeping an eye out for every glance,

Every smile,

Body gestures

And most importantly,

How she looks into your eyes when you're talking to her.

She listens to you and you listen to her.

And you feel a true connection between your souls.

You can't live without her.

But the feeling has to be mutual.

Otherwise you'd be wasting your time again.

You want to have kids.

Get married.

In need of a ride or die.

The sad thing is that you want it so bad that you'd continue to get hurt.

Making it more complicated for the next woman who may treat you like a king.

The way you deserve to be treated.

You lay your time and your heart on the line.

Just remember I can't get any of that back.

In hope that you're not just an afterthought.

That you're not just something to keep her busy when she has nothing to do.

Or most importantly, a rebound until she finds another man.

Then cuts you off when she's found another man.

To get heartbroken again.

Making it harder on you when she comes back.

You want to love her but you can't because you know what's going on.

It's bad when you love so hard that no matter how many times she shreds your heart to pieces you can love her to death.

It's okay though.

The more your heart gets torn,

The more numb you get to the bullshit.

If you think about it it gets easier.

It narrows the search results down to what you're looking for.

What you want.

But until she comes along be prepared.

Because the cycle will continue to kill a part of you.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

6/23/19

8:20 AM