I just want to dissappear

I fear the darkness that waits

But at the same time it excites

Just to be nothing to hear nothing to see nothing

The pain and noise around me is starting to drown

My head is so far under water

Popping bubbles invade my ears

Oxygen deprived lungs scream their last

Clawing at the world but sinking deeper

The way back is becoming bleaker

My vision begins to blurr

But my thinking does not dull

The farther I sink the colder my mentality on mortality becomes

I lose sight of the faces around me

All those smiling posed photos fade

I focus on my feet disapearing into the depths

One kick further towards the light

One kick further towards the night

Everything in my heart is conflicted

My oxygen is being restricted

The light blends to a dark tunnel

Everything has become distorted

Are they laughing or are they crying

I can't tell anymore I must be dieing

Capillaries burst behind my eyes

Creating fireworks that blind

There is just so much noise

I gladly sink into the water

Pressure builds and holds me still

It is so quiet now other than my heart

My heart I forgot I had

Beating loud and strong

In its last rhythmic song

Nothingness is addictive

No yesterday

No tomorrow

No more sorrow

My brain is still running

Seeing the desolation and despair

No wonder I gasp for air

I'm just so tired

Screams of society reverberate

As it frantically scrambling for control

To feel something in its soul

There's so much noise in the world

Anger and fear continuosly appear

Hatred though they know not why

Every thought and emotion

Slams me like the ocean

Even when the sun shines

Those golden spears cannot reach me

Refracted through the water

Bits of gold jutting through opaque blues and greens

The warmth quickly dissapating

I have sunk so far the pressure is all around me

The cold has reached my bones

My marrow has frozen

Hypothermia is setting in

Soon the waters will claim me

By body is one with the termoutous tide

But the silence is euphoric.