I am terrified to be alone

I never learned to live apart

It's not so much that I need your touch

Or a loneliness made from distrust

It's the accountability I require

The responsibility I desire

Without any of that

I enter into the same old trap

I seem to fall to self destructive ways

And I know my mother she prays

I don't understand my mentality

Why is there so much instability

Two weeks on my own and I will be raging

My slow death I am staging

Never thought I would be around this long

How am I so weak but still so strong

I fly wrecklessly at a wall

And yet I still get up from the fall

Why is there such a duality

Is it just my personality

Or is there something really wrong

I'm high I'm low

I'm defeated

Ill keep going blow by blow

No matter what it is

I do still fear to be alone

Will someone please bring warmth into my home.