I jump into the fire

Not because I want to die

Nor is it to disfigure

Self-loathing keeps me alive

The thought I deserve to suffer

My self-flagellation is warranted

At least that's what I feel

My inner monologue illustrated

I have done no evil deeds

Or wronged those I love

But the face I see to me is a disease

All my defects giving me a shove

So I leap into the flame

Burns blistering an already scarred body

Intrusive self-destruction

Ravaging the soul of a nobody

I do not self-pity

There is nothing to feel sorry for

It's just a part of who I am

Like the irredeemable stain upon the floor

I keep on walking forward

Yes I trip and fall

Sometimes I feel stagnant

Or at least moving at a crawl

The self-hatred comes and goes

Sometimes the flames are an inferno

Others it is a lowly ember

Where I find the strength I don't know

There is a drive that continues to fight

It's not something I can put in words

But I refuse to lose to anyone

Even when I feel abhorred

I will not let the flames defeat me

I will not continue retreating

I may take voracious beatings

I know I may be repeating

But I will make one thing clear

I will not succumb to fear

I will find a way to douse the flames

That licks my heels every day

I will not lose to anyone

Most of all myself.