A/n comment your thoughts x

"Ava! Here I got you a drink!" Eric smiles flashing his pearly white smile. His face in 2016 glasses. I giggle taking his glasses placing them on my face. He hands me the drink wrapping his arm around Kelsey pulling her closer to him. Eric always throws a huge new years party. I don't really understand why but I enjoy them nonetheless.

"Hey baby" Harry coos in my ear before kissing my cheek. A huge smile spreads across my face involuntarily.

"Hey babe" I kiss his neck lightly before turning my attention back to Eric and Kelsey.

"Ave it is officially going to be 22 years of us both being on this earth and us being best friends." Eric grins handing me a shot.

"To the birthday girl!!" Eric cheers with Kelsey, Harry and me before we all throw back the shots. Okay so maybe he throws big parties for me. He says its just a win win that I was born on new years.

"Oh before we get too fucked up. Let me get your present." I roll my eyes at him. Eric leans over the bar grabbing a envelope before handing it to me. He smiles putting his hands behind his back nervously.

"I- uh- knew how much that charity meant to you so I-" Eric cuts himself off stopping his rambling and waits for me to open it. It's a certificate for 10,000 dollars in my name to the alliance of suicide prevention. My jaw immediately drops and I practically tackle him.

"Eric oh my god! Thank you! Thank you so much!" I pull back looking at the paper in disbelief before wrapping my arms around him again.

"I love you so much" Tears begin welling up in my eyes as I cling on to him. Eric has done more for me than any other person. He was there at my darkest moments and my brightest.

"I love you, Ave so fucking much." Eric holds me closer to him. I could never thank him enough for everything he has done for me.

"Thank you for saving my life, Eric." I cry quietly to him. I don't care about people around us thinking we are fucking strange.

I never really thanked him for that day. For any of those days when he would just hold me and let me cry. For all the times he protected me when I thought I couldn't protect myself.

Eric believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself.

"I would do it a thousand times over if it means being able to have you as my friend." He sniffles giving me one last squeeze before releasing me.

"Okay! Stop fucking cry! Its your birthday" Eric chuckles wiping away my tears. He changes the mood with just a simple smile. I immediatley smile nodding. Eric nods before ordering some shots.

-

"Babe why aren't you drinking?" Harry asks taking a sip of his amber colored liquid. He is so handsome. His hair styled back in a perfect quiff and his lean torso covered in a heart pattern button up that I adore on him.

"I figured you could drink then I will drive home." My head leans on his shoulder his scent engulfing me in the most lovely way.

"Oh I'll stop now! It's your birthday." Harry sets his glass down wiping his mouth off. I giggle shaking my head.

"I wouldn't like to spend my birthday throwing up and not remembering anything so go ahead and drink, Bear." He smirks kissing my cheek.

"You're amazing you know that right?"

"Oh I know." I smirk over at him closing my eyes slightly leaning on him.

-

"10..." Everyone starts cheering besides Harry. He grumbles something I don't quite understand.

"9..."

"This is stupid" Harry coutinues being a debby downer which only makes me cheer louder.

"8...7...6...5...4..." I grip onto Harry's waist pulling him closer to me grinning up at him.

"3...2..." I inch closer to his lips going on my tip toes. Even in heels he is still obnoxiously taller than me.

"1" I whisper before smashing my lips to his own. Harry's strong arms wrap around me before he picks me up spinning me around. I giggle against his lips at his sudden enthusiasm. His lips never disconnect from my mine when he sets me back down.

"I want to kiss you every new year's. " Harry whispers to me. My heart fluttering at his kind words.

-

"Who are you?" Harry lays on the bed. He got so drunk tonight. Actually him and Eric got drunk. It was sort of nice seeing them bond in a way though. I go to pull his shirt over his head and he pulls my hands away.

"No! Stop it! I have a girlfriend!" He pushes my hands away making me groan.

"Harry it's me, Ava your girlfriend." He rolls over groaning into the bed. I start removing his shoes and socks.

Something must of finally clicked in his head as he smirks up at me.

"Kitten" Harry mumbles. Fuck finally he knows who I am. I smile slightly and undo his belt struggling and removing his tight pants.

"Sit up" He slowly follows my commands and I start undoing his button up shirt removing the last of clothing leaving him in just his black boxers.

"You know I really wish you would have moved in with me." Harry slurs pulling me into his lap. His hand running up and down my leg. I roll my eyes kissing his cheek.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to change and bring you some water." I grab some of Harry's boxers and one of his white shirts heading to the bathroom. It is such a relief to take this off. I remove my makeup also before changing. Harry is laying on the bed his eyes closed and his mouth parted as he sleeps.

He is so breathe taking. Every muscle of his torso contracting at his steady breathing. His muscle arms wrapped around a pillow instead of me. He looks so worry free and so young.

I sigh going out to the kitchen sitting on the floor after I make some cereal. Technically it is morning. I don't realize how tired I am until I'm slumped against the cabinet behind me with eyes drifting shut.

-

"Stop! Please don't hurt them!" Harry's screams jerk me awake. I immediately take off running toward the bedroom. How could I let myself fall asleep in the kitchen?

Harry's body is jerking and going back and forth. He looks like he is in pain. Guilt washes over me as I quickly rush over to him shaking him awake. Fear flashes through his eyes but fades when he sees me.

"I'm so so sorry Harry! I- I fell asleep in the kitchen and and Im so fucking sorry, Bear." I cry holding onto him. I know he hasn't had one of those dreams for atleast the time we have been together. I should have just not went and ate. I should have laid with him and fell asleep in his arms. My tears are falling onto his perfectly tanned skin.

"Its okay" he mumbles pulling me under the covers and into him. I rest my hand on his cheek slowly stroking it.

"I'm sorry." I whisper when he is back asleep.

-

It has been a couple of days since new years and I have finally decided to tell him. I am going to tell Harry that I am in love with him. He deserves to know that he is loved for all of him. There is a small part of me that thinks he will not love me back and that terrifies me.

When I hear the front door open I jump. Harry walks into the living room setting his gym bag down before walking over to me.

"Ugh I'm beat." He lays his hand on my knee slumping back, a lazy smirk adorn his face. I smile slightly pushing some hair from his face.

"You look beautiful as always." He leans over kissing my cheek. My face heats up slightly at his words.

Just 20 seconds of courage. You can do this Ava!

"Um Harry we need to talk." I sit up a bit straighter and turn toward him. He furrows his eyebrows confused before nodding.

"What about?" He pinches his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger staring at me. I bite my lip taking a deep breath.

"Harry I need to tell you something. I have wanted to for a while now and I-"

"Did you cheat on me or something?" Harry grips onto his hair standing up.

"No no no! I just wanted to tell you..."

"Spit it out Ave!" Harry starts growing impatient making my anxiousness grow.

"I'm in love with you, Harry." I blurt out. Harry steps back a bit surprised at my confession.

"You're what?" He sounds mortified.

"I lo-" Harry cover his ears shaking his head.

"I heard you! Stop repeating it" He yells making me jump. What the fuck is his problem?

"Ava I am not capable of loving another human being so I don't know why you are bothering even saying those words. How could you possibly love someone like me?" He spits walking back and forth in his living room.

"I don't know why I do I just I- I just know that I do... a lot and I have never felt like this and I just wanted to tell you. So you knew." I sniffle as tears fall from my eyes.

I hate crying.

"Why are you crying? Did you fucking expect me to say it back? News flash I can't nor will I. You're lucky I asked you to be my girlfriend." Harry scoffs the last part.

"I am lucky?" I angerily wipe at my tears heading towards the door. I'm so fucking stupid. Was our relationship just some sick joke. I can't believe I was so gullible. I turn around once more my engery completely drained.

"I got my hopes up" I whisper, softly closing my eyes.

"About what?" Harry mumbles keeping his distance from me.

"About you actually loving me back." A single tears runs down my cheek. I pick up my broken heart, and leave behind the only man I have ever loved.

-

"Well I took your fucking advice and told him!" I say not even bothering knocking on Eric's door. He jumps slightly as I slam the door.

"And?" Erix walks over to me noticing my upset appearance.

"He basically laughed in my face." His eyes widen before he wraps his arms around me supporting me.

Harry's POV

What have I done? Why would I say that? She's lucky I asked her to be my girlfriend? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ava loves me. Well probably past tense now. How can she love me when I barely love myself? Steady streams of tears fall down my cheeks when her lovely voice comes through my phone say to leave a message. How could I do this?

About you actually loving me back.

Her words cut through me like knives. I can't get them out of my head. She looked like she was in so much pain. The thought of me causing her so that makes me physically ill.

Her beautiful heart shattered just because I couldn't say three fucking words.

Those three words have ruined my lofe since before I knew. I vowed to myself to never love anyone. How could I? I don't understand why anyone would even love me or want to be loved by me?

A/n the chapters are going to keep getting more sad so sorry. (Love you lily) pls vote (: check out my new story please!

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