A/n comment your thoughts x

I smile wrapping my arms around Eric's neck as I see him standing in the hotel doorway. It's been a couple weeks since my mom's funeral and I have have just been trying to find myself. It has been hard trying to get myself together. Even though I hit my rock bottom I still have the strength to rise above it. It has taken a lot of work and tuff love, but I am slowly getting myself together again.

Eric has been my rock and is at my house at 3 am when I'm a mess and can barely speak. He hasn't gone 3 hours without messaging making sure I am okay. It's really reassuring to know how much he cares about me.

Harry has been acting weird lately and really clingy. I always catch him staring at me and looking at me like a lost puppy. I also notice when we are together just watching a movie he daydreams a lot. It's weird. I don't know if I should talk to him and ask him whats up. He hasn't left me alone its not in the sweet way it's in the soffacating way. I don't want to tell him to give me space because I am scared he will give me to much space. I don't want him to think I don't want him in my life because I do.

I sigh as Harry wraps his arm around my waist when we walk into the hotel. Kelsey and Eric booked a hotel for the night so we could all swim. We follow Eric to their room and I smile seeing Kelsey sitting on the hotel bed in a very showy bikini. She looks gorgeous though.

"Ava! Baby!" She cheers picking me up spinning me making me giggle.

"Kels!" I say just as happy.

"Where is your swimsuit missy?" She observes my sweatpants and sweatshirt covered body. I hold up my handbag going to the bathroom not before she slaps my butt.

-

"You look so hot!" Kelsey giggle putting her arm around my shoulder leading me to the pool. There is a few guys playing with a volleyball in the pool. A blonde haired one winks at me making my cheeks turn red. I give him a small smile before following kelsey to a chair. Harry and Eric are trailing behind us talking. Which is weird.

"That blonde guy is eye fucking you." Kelsey chuckles looking over at him as he continues glancing over at me. I shake my head removing my black cover laying it down.

"Come on" I giggle grabbing her hand running and jumping in the pool. The cold water surrounds me chilling me slightly.

"Holy fuck" Kelsey yells slightly as we resurface. I giggle glancing over my shoulder and seeing Harry and Eric removing their shirts to get in.

Harry is so beautiful. His tone muscles contracting as he walks. Even when I'm totally confused about everything that is Harry I still feel that ungodly physical attraction between us. I'm completely drawn to him. Eric jumps over swimming over to us. While Harry takes the stairs slowly walking in. Eric walks over to Kelsey picking her up drifting away with her leaving just Harry and I. He smiles a bit awkwardly.

"You look beautiful." He mumbles walking a bit closer.

"Thank you." I smile. "Are you going to get your hair wet?" I ask.

"I wasn't planning on it." He furrows his eyebrows making me grin. I immediately jump on him trying to push his head underwater. It takes me a few minutes and a lot of yelling before I finally dunk his head under. Harry pops back up gasping for air. My laugh is echoing against the walls making me cringe slightly.

"What a way to show your love by drowning me" Harry pushes his rather long hair back making me grin.

"I think the best way to show my love is by killing your brain cells."I wrap my arms around his neck grinning.

-

"Hey love can you pass the ball over here?" The blonde says grabbing my attention from my conversation with Kelsey. My eyes trail down his torso before back up to his face seeing a small smile on his face. He is very attractive. My cheeks turn a bit red before I nod and throw the ball over to him.

"You want to come join us, babe?" He grins. Babe? Really?

"Get over their for both of us." Kelsey pushes me lightly. I awkwardly nod walk over to the deep end. I can feel her eyes on me.

"Whats your name?" A brown haired male asks. Why are all these guys atrractive and I am so fucking awkward.

"Ava, you?" They nod smiling.

"I'm connor. That's Jackson. The little blonde flirt is Bryan." Connor chuckles shaking his head. I giggle nodding.

"Lovely meeting you guys. What are you even playing?" I ask walking over to them. I can feel there eyes on me. It makes me slightly uncomfortable but I ignore it.

"We are basically just hitting it back and forth and being stupid." Jackson scoffs. He gives me a light smile and I nod. We start playing with the volleyball and getting to know each other. They are actually all quite funny. Jackson is definitely the grumpy one of the group. Connor is actually hilarious and my stomach is hurting from laughing so much. It is sort of refreshing to laugh like this and just not be stressed out. Bryan has been flirting with me the whole time and I don't really know how to respond. I'm an awkward person.

I am in the midst of laughing when I hear a familiar voice.

"Hey Ava um we are going back to the room." Harry says from the side of the pool. He looks upset and I can't help but be concerned. I furrow my eyebrows at him. He doesn't respond to me or even make eye contact before walking away. He's mad at me. I curse under my breath and watch him walk out the door. I should probably run after him and apologize for whatever the fuck I did. Honestly though I am so exhausted with him. I love him more than I love myself, but sometimes I want nothing more than to punch him in the face.

Fuck I don't want to loose him though.

I say goodbye to them and quickly get out and wrap a towel around myself chasing after him. I finally catch up to him and grab his shoulder. He doesn't look at me as he turns around.

"Harry whats going on?" I sigh. He shakes his head keeping his head down.

"Harry please talk to me. What happened?" I grab his face making him look up at me. When his eyes connect with mine I gasp. A red circle lines his beautiful eyes and they are slightly puffy. Why is he crying?

"Do you love me?" Harry mumbles sniffling slightly. Why would he think I don't? Because those guys?

"Why would you even ask that? Of course I fucking love you. I will always love you." I say sternly so he believes me. His eyes look so hurt.

"You looked so happy in their... with those guys. I haven't seen you that happy in forever and I just assumed that you didn't. I just fucking miss you and us and laughing with you and being the one to make you smile. I miss seeing your eyes light up and waking up to you and being able to hold you and I miss walking into the kitchen and seeing you half naked cooking breakfast. I miss when you wrap your arms around my waist from behind. I just- I lov-" I cut him off pointing at him.

"Don't you dare! You told me you would never love me! If you are just saying this because you saw me with those guys I swear to god Harry. I will walk out of here!" I step back from him.

"Ava you know I wouldn't do that." I cover my face as tears spring to my eyes. I turn around walking away from him. I can't handle this.

"Ava please." Harry begs me to stop. I shake my head. I can't breathe.

"I'm completely in love with you. I love everything about you. I love all of you and I lov-" I spin around facing him.

"When did you realize you loved me? Was it after you laughed at me and told me you would never love me? Or was it when my mom died and you just felt pity on me?" I have waited for the day that Harry would say he loved me back. Now I'm just angry.

"What the fuck? You think I am telling you I love you because I feel fucking bad for you? I knew you were going to get through all of this even if you didn't know that I love you. You are the strongest women I have ever met in my life. I am telling you I love you because you deserve to know and I don't want to loose you. I fucking need you Ava. You drive me fucking insane and I crave it. I crave you." Harry's words make my stomach flutter. I close my eyes sliding down the wall.

"I'm so confused." I mumble to myself. Harry sits next to me keeping his distance.

"Is that why you have been acting weird?" My hands have become very interesting. I feel my adrenaline slowly fade as I calm myself down.

"I have never been in love before. I didn't know what to do." Harry says weakly. He picks at the carpet under us. I lay my head on his shoulder as my eyes shut.

"I don't know what to say."

"Me either" he sighs laying his head on me. Harry kisses the top of my head. I can't believe he loves me. He actually loves me.

-

"You want a drink?" Kelsey asks as she pours some clear liquid. I shake my head no scrunching my nose.

"I have drank way to much lately." She slightly giggles and hands Harry and Eric a drink.

"Ava! Okay guess what? The reason we got this hotel and all this blah blah blah is because I need to tell you something." Eric jumps excitedly. He claps his hands together standing in front of me.

"What's up buttercup?" He chuckles slightly at my little pet name.

"Well I got offered a temporary job thing it's like a promotion I guess." He says smiling.

"Eric thats amazing!" I stand up wrapping my arms around him.

"But there is a problem. Its 3 hours from here. It's an amazing opportunity though and I just wanted to tell you." Eric searches my face for a reaction. I force a small smile on my face. Eric is leaving. I would lie if I said I was completely happy for him. I am selfish I need Eric. He is my rock. What if he gets a new best friend? He just sort of forgets about me?

"Congrats Eric" I give him a small hug closing my eyes. Eric and I haven't gone longer then a week without seeing each other. This is going to be weird.

"How long is your temporary job thing?" I purse my lips to stop the tears I can feel threatening.

"Only about 6 months. I will back before you know it, Ave" With his words I burst into tears shielding myself in his chest.

"You asshole. I can't believe you are leaving me for 6 months." Eric chuckles chaking his head slightly.

"You will be okay. Plus I will visit on weekends and you can come down whenever you want." He reassures me. I nod wiping under my eyes punching his chest.

"I hate you"

"I love you too, bitch" Eric grins rubbing his chest where I punched him. I roll my eyes sitting down on the bed next to Harry. My head automatically goes to rest on his shoulder. I am feeling very tired. I think I will just rest my eyes for a bit.

-

I wake up in Harry's car my eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Hey sleepy head." Harry chuckles pulling into my apartment space. I smile over at him stretching my limps and yawning. Harry smiles softly at me before getting out of the car walking to my side and opening the door for me. I thank him as I step out walking toward the door.

"Oh hey Ave! I uh- I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out for dinner tomorrow?" Harry scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah sure" I agree in my slightly sleepy state. I swear I hear Harry mumble an I love you before walking back to his car. I am not for sure though.

Is it a date?

-

My home is quiet and sad. I hate it. I sigh throwing myself on to my bed trying to fall asleep. All I can do is think about Harry. He loves me. It amazes me that he actually does. It feels like we have been through so much heartbreak and now I don't know maybe it will get better. Do I want to be with him? Of course I do. He just needs to prove himself. It will take a lot more than him just telling me he loves me for me to forgive him.

He broke my heart.

I feel guilty for what I know he has been going through everytime he sleeps though. How can I just lay here when he has nightmares everytime he closes his eyes? I know he tore me apart, but he also put me back together. It's nice to have some time alone though. I know how much pain he goes through though and it makes my chest ache slightly.

I ignore the tug on my heart and force the imagines of the love of my life in pain from dreams he can't control.

-

I hear my phone ringing making me wake up. I groan rubbing my eyes and seeing Harry calling me. I immediately answer.

"Ava please come over." Harry voice cracks slightly. Is he crying?

"Okay. I'll be their in a few." I mumble hanging up. It's 2 am and I want to go to sleep in my cozy bed, but Harry needs me.

-

"Ava!" Harry's eyes are red as he wraps his arms around me. I furrow my eyebrows confused but hug him back nonetheless. He pulls me into his warm home never letting me go.

"What happened, Bear?" My eye widen when I realize what I have called him.

"Ava it was the bad one." Harry holds on to me tighter. I know exactly what he is talking about. His nightmare when it is complete darkness and all he hears is his mother and sister screaming for help. I squeeze my eyes shut wishing I could take all of this beautiful man's pain away. I hate seeing him hurt.

"I'm here." I stroke his back softly kissing his hair.

"Will you stay? I will sleep on the couch just-" I cut him off shaking my head.

"No come on. Let's go to bed." I take his hand leading him to his bedroom that I haven't been in in weeks. Harry goes underneath the covers waiting for me. I remove my shoes getting under the covers curling into Harry's side. His warmth putting me in a deep sleep.

A/n ugh ugh ugh. This chapter sucked ass I'm sorry. I think I am going to be ending this book in about 10 chapters so prepare yo. (Hi lily)

Sorry I took so long:(

20k READS AND 1K VOTES IM SO HWKSJSHSKEOSHW

You guys should seriously check out my other book though wonderwall. I am so in love with it! Pls vote (: