《Dear, JJ | JJ Maybank》24. a few fun facts.
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a few fun facts.
JJ was beyond made, he was furious.
A carrot had been dangled right infront of his face, and when he reached out to take it, his fingers brushed against the carrot, and it was torn away from him.
He now knew his friends were alive, but there was nothing he could do to help them.
JJ hated feeling helpless, he hated being useless.
Even if he was more of a hindrance than a help he liked to "help." He liked doing something about things like this.
But this time there was nothing to do, he knew about it, he was left to worry about it with no outlet to help.
So he created an outlet to help, except once again, it didn't help. It hindered.
Just like most things in life, JJ wasn't taught how to healthily cope with anger. His father coped with beating the shit out of his son or drowning his sorrows in drugs an alcohol. JJ didn't want to beat anyone up, no one around him deserved it, so he took to hurting the things around him.
Once again he showed his dark, ugly side to Otto. He showed his red flags almost proudly, and this time she wouldn't let them go unnoticed. She had to take each red flag seriously, she needed to take action to stop the cycle.
Because now there was another being involved, it wasn't just her anymore.
JJ hadn't even realised how his actions could portray him, he was so consumed with anger that he let it get the best of him.
He hadn't though about how that might look to Otto. About what it not only said about his character but about what the examples he would set for the soon-to-be child.
He was so invested in his actions he took no notice that Otto had walked away, that was until Kie threw some old shoe at his head.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, JJ? You can't do this shit anymore."
He looked around him and noticed that not only Pope was gone but Otto was too, he mumbled curse words under his breath and ran down the stairs and around the corner to where Otto was walking back to her car.
"Otto, I'm sorry, you don't understand what it's like."
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It really wasn't the right thing to say, but he said it nevertheless. As he caught up to her she didn't spare him a glance.
"My friends mean everything to me, they're my family. And just as I was moving on and accepting that they were gone suddenly they aren't just gone. They are my family, they are everything to me."
This caused a reaction from Otto, she stopped walking and stared at him, "If they are your family, and you're everything. Then what the fuck is this baby, huh? And by extension me. Are we just the backup while you thought your friends were dead? Now that they're back we are put on the back burner? Because that's not how kids work JJ. I understand you didn't have any decent parental figures so I'm just going to give you a quick lesson: kids are either the most important thing in your life or you shouldn't be having them. It's that damn simple."
"You claim you want to be a father and yet you aren't acting the slightest bit invested." She continued.
Otto was quickly coming to the realisation that while JJ may want a part in the baby's life he currently wasn't stable enough to be there. He was in no way a fit parent and the time he had left to become a fit parents was dwindling by the second. He was very quickly running out of time.
Her words felt like a slap in the face. A very well deserved slap.
The message was loud and clear. Sort your shit out or he wouldn't have a part.
The first feeling he felt was anger, after all it was his baby too. He had rights to it just as much as she had. Then he realised that was the problem, his default emotion when things went wrong was anger. But not only that, his anger was unhinged, no one knew what he would do when he flew of his hinges.
JJ, when angry, could be scary.
"You need to think about what a baby actually means, about what it affects and how your life changes; or should change. Because babies don't come second to friends."
Otto felt like every step JJ made in the right direction he would promptly made two steps in the opposite direction.
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It seemed like he was angry at her for everything, even if it wasn't strictly her fault.
He was angry she was pregnant. He was angry at her for keeping the baby. Then he decided he wanted to be a part of it. Then he was angry again. Then he begged for forgiveness.
It felt like a never ending cycle, one that Otto knew she had to end.
She wasn't going to fuck up her baby.
Otto could see how important Sarah and John B were to the Pogues, and she truly felt bad about the circumstances they found themselves in, but it couldn't be JJ's priority.
After all there were two more people in that group who could have the missing teens as their number one priority.
Watching how he reacted was telling.
JJ is one of the best people to hang out with when he's happy, he's easy going, laid back and endlessly amusing. But then something sets him off and all hell breaks loose, and he eradicts everything in his path.
She knew that becoming a parent would come much easier to her than it would to him.
From day one she had two parents who made sure they gave their child a life that was as idyllic as possible. Of course there were things out of their control like her father's cancer, but everything they could control they would make sure to give her the world.
She had amazing examples, examples that she could follow in their footsteps.
JJ, for obvious reasons, couldn't follow im his parents footsteps. He had to forge his own, and Otto was aware that it wouldn't be an easy task.
She understood her privilege, and she understood he didn't have anything close to that.
But a lack of privilege doesn't excuse unnecessary, aggressive behaviour.
Someone had to break the Maybamk cycle and Otto had really hoped it would be JJ, but she was beginning to see it may not be.
Otto was deep in her thoughts as she walked into her house, up the stairs, down the corridor and into her room.
She was so in her on head she didn't notice Wes sitting at her desk, leaning back on the chair, his arms crossed on his chest and legs on her desk until she was pulling her coat off.
Otto nearly dropped dead, her heart felt like it fell right out of her body.
He smirked, obviously pleased with the reaction he caused.
Just as Otto opened her mouth to say something he held up his hand to shut her up, he took his legs off the desk and sat forward.
"I'm going to give you a few fun facts. Children without father's are 279% more likely to deal drugs or carry firearms for offensive purposes. 63% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes. 90% of runaways are children without fathers. 85% of the youths in prison come from fatherless homes. Almost half of teenagers without a father drop out of highsc--"
"Stop! Just shut up for once, Jesus Christ." Otto yelled.
He'd clearly memorised them just to terrorise her.
The worse part is that it was very clear that what he was getting at wasn't wrong, both Wes and Otto knew the situation she had found herself in.
At this moment, JJ wasn't a fit parent. He wasn't taking it seriously, it truly was on the back burner to him, even more that day.
He never really took it seriously.
He didn't really ask questions or talk about it, it seemed like he just wanted to continue hanging out with Otto rather than be a father.
"How do you know the baby is his?" Wes asked.
"The dates, it physically cannot be your baby. Also you wouldn't put your dick six feet within me without a condom, so it's safe to say you're in the clear. Congratulations."
Wes nodded and stood up, he walked up to Otto wifh a conniving glint to his eye.
"I'd double check the maths. We both know I'd make a better parent than Maybank."
And with that he left.
Otto knew that wasn't true.
She knew while JJ was a mentally unstable, borderline drug addict and alcoholic he wouldn't hit her. He hadn't already she highly doubted he would start now.
Whereas Wes' anger-induced abusive tendencies knew no bounds, it seemed like there was nothing he was above doing.
JJ was a far better option.
•
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