I was staring blankly at my closet. I had nothing to wear. It was all leather jackets, football jerseys, scruffy hoodies, stained with the scent of cigarette smoke and spilt alcohol. Theo would be in his usual dorky, adorable clothes. A massively oversized jumper, accompanied by ripped, distressed jeans and either a pair of clunky boots or faded converse. And I hated admitting how much I adored his clothes. They didn't fit right, but they somehow looked perfect on him. I could never pull it off, not many boys my age could. But Theo? He'd look good in anything.

I groaned in frustration, storming out of my bedroom and knocking hard on my sister's door. "Vera! I need your help."

She opened several seconds later, glancing up at me curiously. She smiled sweetly, perhaps surprised that I was actually asking her for help. That was rare. "What d'you want?"

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my bedroom. She followed curiously, her eyes falling on the open closest. "Okay, if you liked boys-"

"I do like boys." She frowned in utter confusion.

"Okay, great. So, what should a boy wear to...uh..."

"A date?" She rose her brows, smirking smugly, leant against my cluttered desk.

"Forget I asked." I grumbled.

"What? Luca!" She exclaimed happily, "This is so exciting." She squealed. "Who is she? Is she pretty? Is she blonde? Does she have any-?"

"Yeah, blond." Was all I said. "So, can you help or not?"

She shoved past, examining my wardrobe carefully, "Je kleren zijn lelijk." She chuckled to herself, causing me to roll my eyes. "What about this?" She pulled out a tattered Blink-182 t-shirt, faded with time.

"I've had that for years, no one listens to them anymore."

"You do." She challenged.

"Well, what if they don't like Blink-182?" I shot back.

"Then they don't like you...?" She stated as if it was the obvious answer. "Oh, come on, Luca, they've been your favourite band ever since you started learning English."

I snatched the shirt, stuffing it back in closet, "It's too cold for short sleeves anyway."

"I don't know." She threw her hands up helplessly. "Surely you know what she likes more than I do."

"I don't know what she likes on me."

She sighed, grabbing my usual leather jacket and shoving it into my chest, "It's cute that you're trying but if she doesn't like you in your usual clothes, then it's not worth the effort."

I turned to her desperately but she'd already left the room, wishing me a good time on my date, giggling as she shut the door. I grunted in annoyance, hoping Theo wasn't too repulsed by the smell of weed on my jacket. The reason I was acting so weirdly about my clothes was because I was reluctant to remind Theo of what a fuckup I was. If I showed up with scruffy hair and leather, that would only succeed in polluting his innocence further. I wasn't one hundred percent certain, but I was pretty sure I'd already stolen his first kiss. I didn't want to steal anything more of his.

But it looked like I didn't have much of an option. After shrugging on the over-worn jacket and lacing up a pair of scuffed, burgundy dr martens, I ran my fingers through my hair, untangling the loose knots while still trying to keep it as messy as possible. I told my parents I was going to Phoenix's - hoping that Vera wouldn't tell them anything - before leaving the house.

The drive to Theo's house was silent. The radio was playing up, but that was okay. It gave me time to think. Time to freak out over the fact that I was going on a date. With a boy. A couple of months ago, I'd have laughed at the mere thought of being interested in anything other than casual sex. But now? I was nervous. For my date. With a boy.

I didn't have anything special planned. I didn't want to make it too awkward by arranging a fancy dinner with roses and suits and wine. That put too much pressure onto it. And I really needed this to go well. My plan was to just suggest a movie and a bite to eat, telling him it was his choice.

I took a deep breath as I knocked, staring at the chipped paint. The door swung open after a moment, revealing a peppy Theo, a coil of black and white scales wrapped around his forearm, "H-Hey, Luca." He grinned.

I flinched, my face crumpling in disgust at the writhing snake, twisting and hissing gently, "What the actual fuck is that?" I spat in revulsion, taking a few steps back, refusing to pull my eyes off of the slithering creature.

Theo chuckled, "You've already m-met her."

"Yeah, from a safe distance! You know, behind glass and all!"

His chest vibrated with laughter, his eyes gleaming happily, "Oh, c-come on, surely Luca Bakker isn't that afraid of snakes?"

I kept my distance from him, my eyes still watching the reptile skeptically, bracing myself unless it decided to sink its fangs into me. "They're not normal! They don't have legs, that's creepy!"

He giggled, watching the creature twist like wire along his arm, "L-Lots of animals don't have legs."

"Name three." I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest, still refusing the enter the warm, glowing house, opting to shiver in the cold instead. I'd rather die from hypothermia than go near that scaly monster.

"Uh...w-whales?"

"Nu-uh, doesn't count. They live in water."

"S-So?" He argued. "Besides, doesn't b-being legless make them kinda safer?"

"Urgh, can you please put that thing away so we can go?" I shuddered at the thought.

He just giggled, "Sorry." He grinned, "Give me one sec." He pulled me into the house, making sure I was sheltered from the cold before heading upstairs. I leant back against the door awkwardly, my eyes bouncing over the hats and scarves hung crookedly on the coat hanger. It was only a couple of moments before Theo came bounding back down the stairs again, smiling joyfully as he grabbed his jacket. I was right. He was in a baggy jumper, frayed jeans and a pair of muddy butterscotch coloured boots.

"So, I was thinking the cinema?" I suggested, tightening my jacket around me as we navigated our way through the darkness to reach my car.

He was silent for a moment as he entered the car, buckling his seatbelt up as I quickly turned the heater on, "Y-You mean where it's dark and n-no one will see us?" He asked tentatively, biting his lip in thought.

I froze, my fingers lingering over my keys. "What?" I asked with furrowed brows, turning to look at him. Once I noticed his serious expression, my face fell, "Oh my god, I just realised how that sounds, I...no! No, I swear that's not it." I hastily assured him, dropping my keys so I could cup his cold cheeks in my hands, "I wasn't trying to..." I sighed, unsure how to finish the sentence. So I settled for just leaning forward and pressing my lips onto his.

It was slow and gentle, just my lips against his, marble cold and trembling from the stabbing winds we'd just been exposed to. Ever since discovering our feelings for each other, all it'd been between us was pecks and short chaste kisses. And I was desperate for more. Maybe that's why I gripped him tighter, my hands sliding around the back of his neck to pull him closer, my lips moving a little faster.

His hands fumbled around blindly, eventually grasping onto my collar for support, the pair of us both leaning over the handbrake, trying not to knock into the gearstick. His lips were soft and smooth, sending small tingles of electric adrenaline down my spine as he tried to match my rhythm. But then an uncomfortable thought surfaced in my mind and I quickly pulled back, keeping my grip around him steady.

He watched me with wide eyes, weighed down by sudden apprehension at my abrupt decision to halt the kiss, "W-What is it? D-Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, you're fine, it's just that..." I trailed off, finally untangling my arms from around the nape of his neck as I shuffled back into my own seat. "Have you ever kissed anyone before, Theo?"

He gulped as he curled in on himself slightly, pulling his sleeves over his hands absentmindedly, "O-Only you." He whispered.

"Shit." I muttered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take your first kiss, if I'd known, I swear I wouldn't have been so-"

He grinned at my response, placing his hand delicately over mine, small in comparison to my own. "It's okay, Luca. I-I'm happy it was you."

After forcing myself to swallow my guilt, I nodded in understanding. But I knew t wasn't okay. The first time I kissed him was rough and aggressive, I'd practically pounced on him. It was an impulse, not a decision. And he'll never get another first kiss. "Okay, the cinema was a shitty idea, what'd you wanna do?" I asked him, cutting through the loud silence.

"I-I know a pizzeria around the corner?" He suggested, "I swear, no one from school w-would ever go-"

"I don't care about people from school." I interjected firmly. "Is it walking distance? I could do with saving a little gas."

He nodded as we both clambered back out of the car. I glanced around the empty streets, seeing nothing but thick darkness and sleeping cars. So, I shuffled closer and slipped my fingers through his, squeezing his hand in gentle reassurance. He almost stopped walking, his eyes darting between our interlocked hands and my casual expression. But then he leaned in a little closer, squeezing back.