We were laying in my bed together, both still in a happy daze. We showered together afterwards, and now, we were both snuggled up, warm, toasty, and clean. I was wearing nothing but underwear, while my pretty boyfriend wore a pair of my boxers and one of my jerseys. He was drowning in hickeys, I hadn't even realised how many I'd given him until now. They were scattered across his neck, down his throat, staining his collarbone. I had a couple myself, but not as many as Theo - he looked like he had just been paint balling.

We were staring at each other from under the covers. I studied his face, his soft features, the smile engraved on his lips. "So?" I whispered with a grin. "Did I do a good job at taking your virginity?"

He giggled, pulling the sheets up to his chin, "You did." He agreed. "W-Was...was it okay? For you?" He asked nervously.

I chuckled lightly, rolling my eyes, "You were amazing." I told him honestly, grinning from ear to ear. "The best sex I've ever had."

His eyes shot wide open at my statement, "W-What?"

I shrugged, "Yeah. Maybe it really is better when you're with someone you really like."

He shuffled closer to me, "Possibly some of the best sex I've ever had too." He teased.

"It better be." I joked, fiddling with a lock of his snowy hair, twirling it around my finger. My fingertips then trailed down his arms, running over the vague bumps and scars littering his wrists. He stiffened a little at the contact, but I kept him close and warm, trying to comfort him. "I'm sorry that I don't understand." I apologised, "I wish I did, but I just don't." I bit my lip, "Why did you do it? Did you want to die?"

He froze for a moment, then pulled his whole body away from me, sitting up in bed, staring down at me. "N-No." He told me firmly. "No, I don't want to kill myself." He actually sounded bitter, like he was irritated by such a suggestion.

I sat up too, the sheets pooling at my waist, "Okay, I'm sorry." I said guiltily, "I just read online that-"

"You've b-been doing research?" His brows deepened into a frown at my words.

I shrugged, "Well, yeah." I replied incredulously. "You're my boyfriend, I wanna know what's going on. And I wanna what I can do to help."

"Y-You can't help." He faltered, hugging his knees to his chest.

"I can try." I countered, sighing heavily. "Theo, I didn't mean to make you upset. I read all this shit about suicidal thoughts, and I was just worried."

"Well, yeah, of course I-I've thought about it before." He said stiffly. "Who h-hasn't?"

"Theo, that's not normal." I told him wearily.

"Everyone's thought about dying, Luca." He contradicted. "It's a part of l-life, it's natural to wonder if things would be better if you just stopped breathing."

"They wouldn't." I snapped. "Things wouldn't be better. You'd be dead. That's not better."

"Y-You don't know that." He was actually trembling slightly. I began to wonder how things had twisted into something so dark so quickly.

"Theo, I need to know if you're serious about this." I whispered gently, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"You're not a therapist." He shot back. I wasn't sure if it was meant so sound harsh, but it merely came out as desperately sad. "Please, Luca." He whispered, pulling his lime green eyes up to meet mine. They were glistening with tears. "P-Please."

I took his small hand, leaning back down, pulling him onto my chest. Neither of us said anything for a while. We were sat in comfortable silence, laying in bed, Theo curled up at my side as I absentmindedly traced shapes on his back, running my finger across his spine. The thought of Theo contemplating suicide scared me. But I had to trust him that he was okay. He had his meds, his doctors, his parents. There was nothing I could do to help, other than just be there for him. And that was what I was going to do. "I'm sorry." I whispered, "I didn't mean to upset you."

He shifted, tilting his face up to glance at me, smiling sadly. "It's okay." He whispered back. "I-It's sweet that you've been doing research."

I shrugged, "Of course." I grinned, running my fingers through his hair.

"Hey, Luca? A-Are you gonna come out to your parents?" He shuffled into a different position again. Damnit, this kid couldn't sit still. Now he was laying on his stomach, his elbows propped up, his face resting lazily in his hands.

I sighed, glancing down at him, "I'm not sure." I admitted. "I guess I'm just a little scared."

"You don't have to tell them." He smiled sweetly. "You've barely f-figured it out yourself yet."

"I feel guilty though." I countered. "I'm hiding you from them. I'm hiding a part of me from them." I emphasised. "Aren't you annoyed?"

He chuckled lightly, "Luca, I was forced out." He breathed quietly. "I w-wouldn't ever do that to you. It's horrible."

I sympathised with him. I could hardly imagine what it was like for him being dragged out of the closet like that. "Maybe I should tell Sam and Phoenix." I decided. "They're two of my closest friends and now Daya and Tommy know, I kinda have to-"

"Tommy know?" He scrambled into a sitting position, straddling my waist as he stared at me wide eyed. "H-How?"

I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment, my hands clung to his slim waist. "I accidentally told him you gave me a blowjob during detention."

His eyes widened further, his cheeks glowing red from embarrassment, "Luca!" He scolded. "I-I sound like such a slag!"

I couldn't help but laugh, pulling his face down onto my lips, kissing him sensually for a moment, before he pulled back stubbornly. "Relax, baby." I chuckled. "I explained that you were my boyfriend."

"W-We need to talk about this baby thing." He pouted.

I gasped in mock shock, "What? You don't like it?" I teased.

"I sound like a possession." He complained.

"Good, 'cause you're mine." I grinned. This time, he didn't object to me kissing him and instead, reciprocated it. We were so caught up in the moment, neither of us heard the sound of footsteps or the door swinging open.

We only broke apart when a dry voice cut in, "What the fuck?"

Theo leapt off, rolling onto the bed beside me, tugging the covers up to hide his body. A pair of baby blue eyes were staring us down as Sam stood completely emotionless in the doorway, her fingers still wrapped around the handle. "Shit." I cursed, slipping out of bed, not quite knowing what to do with myself. "Shit, Sam! How'd you even get in?"

"Spare key." She told me, her voice dull and blank. "Under the flowerpot." Her gaze wasn't on me. It was on Theo, staring at him in disgust.

"I meant to tell you." I tried to persuade her. "I swear, I was going to, okay? It just...fuck, this isn't how you were meant to find out-"

"So, you're a cocksucker now?" She asked threateningly, finally snapping her eyes to mine, brushing her blonde locks out of her face.

"So what if I am-?"

"That's why you haven't slept with me in months?" She rose her brows expectantly, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at Theo as he came to stand beside me. "You've ditched me for this faggot?"

"Hey!" I spat as Theo cowered behind me slightly, "Don't call him that."

"Oh my god, I can't believe I spent all this time fucking a gay guy!" She scrunched her nose up in distaste.

"I'm not gay." I hissed, my voice shaking. "What the fuck is the matter with you? Why can't you be happy for me?"

"Happy for you?" She laughed humourlessly. "Happy that you've abandoned your friends for...for..." She couldn't even muster the words to describe him, "For this skank."

"Shut the fuck up." I ordered

sharply. "Don't talk about him like that." I took a challenging step forward, trying to subtly shield Theo from view. "I never knew you were such a homophobic arsehole."

She snorted, "You're disgusting. Both of you."

"Get the fuck out of my house." I commanded.

"Gladly." She scoffed. And without another word, she turned on her heels and marched out of the room. A few moments later, I heard the front door slamming shut.

I spun around, facing Theo's red cheeks and emotionless eyes, "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think she'd-"

"It's okay." He interrupted, grabbing my hand and giving it a small squeeze. "You didn't know."

"Fuck, I need to tell Phoenix before she does." I realised, lunging across my room to reach for my phone.