Chapter song: Weight of the World

*****

I'm feeling a lot of things as I sit next to Dustin across from his parents. He's holding my hand, and it's a welcomed comfort as I prepare myself to ask for help.

Dustin insists that his family will be more than happy to assist me. I don't really care about me, but I do want to find Faith and I have no idea where to start.

I take a deep breath. "I um- So my parents are um… gone," I still can't bring myself to say that they're dead. "Melissa was my guardian but she passed recently." My voice still sounds low even. "Faith is her daughter, but Melissa wasn't much of a mother to her. I was left with the responsibility to take care of her since basically the day she was born. Her dad-" my voice cracks, and I take a deep breath, clearing my throat. "A couple weeks ago her dad took her from me. Melissa tried getting her back, but no luck." I don't say anything else. I can't without breaking down. I'm so tired of crying, but that's all I've been doing these days.

"Okay…" Mr. Swaz starts off. "When you say your parents are gone you mean-"

"They passed." Dustin fills in.

Mr. Swaz nods, taking a deep breath. "One of the guys I work with is married to a social worker, I can talk to him about your options of being underage without a guardian."

I shake my head. "That's okay. I'll Be eighteen in a few weeks. I just need help getting Faith back."

"If Faith is with her dad, isn't it in her best interest for you to have her?" Mrs. Swaz asks cautiously.

The question doesn't offend me. It probably should but I'm an underage teen with no living relatives who's still in high school. I just barely survived my second suicide attempt and struggle with depression and anxiety. Yea, I'm not the ideal guardian for a baby.

"I don't know." I reply honestly. "But Todd is an addict, and he's abusive and I don't want him to hurt her."

"Oh my," Mrs. Swaz breathes out. "We should probably go to the cops. Or file a report with social services. Do you have any more details on this so-called Todd?"

I shake my head. "I only know his first name. He was with Melissa for years. I'd be able to pick him out in a line up but I don't have any idea how to find him."

"Okay," Mr. Swaz says again. "I'm sure a man like that has a criminal record of some kind. We can talk to the police tomorrow and see what information they have on him. Blade, you can stay with us for as long as you need. We'll help you get Faith back."

"Thank you." I whisper, overcome by emotions. Maybe I'll see my baby again.

Dustin squeezes my hand and I smile at him.

"First thing in the morning, I'll head down to the station and talk to the police." Mr. Swaz says. "It's getting late. You two should get some rest. You have school in the morning."

"School?" Dustin retorts. "Dad, come on."

Mr. Swaz smiles at his son. "You're teenagers. Be teenagers. You already missed two days. You're going to school. Both of you."

"What if you need me tomorrow at the station?" I ask.

"I'll figure it out. Goodnight you two."

Dustin's parents retreat upstairs, whispering to each other as they leave.

Dustin turns to me. "School? Can you believe them? They think they're grown."

I chuckle, my sulky mood lifting a bit. "I'll take the couch tonight. I've kicked you out of your room enough."

"No." Dustin counters when he reads the message. "I'm fine on the couch."

I sigh. "Please? I've already burdened you enough."

"You're never a burden, Blade."

"That's what you say now," I grumble out. I already know fighting him on this will be futile. We're both stubborn, but I think he's worse than I am.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"You can. I can't promise I'll answer."

He smiles, but his demeanor changes as he speaks. "Did Todd ever hurt you?"

"No." I answer honestly. Todd was abusive, but never to me. He only ever hurt Melissa. The only time he ever did anything to me was when he took Faith.

Dustin looks surprised by my answer, but he seems to believe me. "I feel like the more you tell me about you the less I know."

"That doesn't make sense."

He laughs. "I know." We're still sitting next to each other at the kitchen table. I'm tired, but I don't feel like going to sleep.

It's silent for a while before Dustin's clears his throat. "My parents died when I was six. They were on their way to pick me up from school and got hit my a drunk driver. It was a long time ago, and I was so young. A family member took me in for a few months, but they couldn't handle a grieving child who was lashing out. I barely remember my parents. I don't have many memories of them aside from a couple photos but most of those were taken before I was even born." He smiles sadly. "As the years pass, I find myself remembering less and less of them. A part of me feels guilty for having new memories. Sometimes it feels like I'm replacing theirs with new ones."

"You're not." I take his hand in mine. "Thank you for sharing that with me." My parents were killed when I was thirteen, and as much as it hurts to think about them, I never want to forget them.

Dustin shrugs, a sad smile on his face. "For a long time I hated the world for what happened, but being loved and cherished by such an amazing familg made me realize that the world does suck, but it isn't all bad."

"No," I say in agreement. "It isn't."

*****