“Mom… I feel it would be better not to celebrate my birthday. It's not the appropriate time. I think we should focus on Jamie.” Cherish whined again.

I am beginning to hate this whining thing now. Annie whines, Jamie has learned to whine and now Cherish is whining too… What is about kids that people want to have kids? I have four kids and they are painful. Brutally painful.

Hardship of parenthood.

Annie rolls her eyes whenever she sees James, Jamie rolls his eyes whenever he sees Annie, And Cherish, she is not only the eldest among them, she is the leader of the Carter siblings. She was planning how to push James, and Jamie learned it. That toddler is a fast learner and constantly tries to push James on the floor.

“Stop doing this, young lady.” I didn't look at her, but I made clear that I am the lady of the house. They live under my roof and I will not tolerate this behaviour of them.

“But I prefer not to meet Mr Carter.” The way Cherish said, I am sure she must be rolling her eyes.

“He is your father.” Finally, I closed my planner and looked at her. I think she needs a woman to woman talk. She is 16 and almost an adult. “Why are behaving like this?”

Putting the flower of Delphinium away, which symbolizes open heart, She looked at me and whined. Again a whine. What is happening to my kids?

“This is not you. Is there something bothering you? I am hoping there is a reason because if there is no reason, then trust me, I don't appreciate this behaviour.”

Nodding, she bit her lips. Her face suggests deep thought. Taking the seat in front of me, “are you fine?” She asked.

“I am absolutely fine.” My answer was as quick as the speed of light.

“No, you are not. You….” She pointed at me. “Are not behaving like yourself. You don't listen to our tantrums. I completely dislike that Mr Carter tries to talk to me, but I agree with him when he said that Jamie is becoming stubborn. You even breastfed him. He is 2. I know we missed his birthday, but the timing wasn't right. You just had a miscarriage. You were not even talking. And Jamie doesn't understand we missed his birthday. So, there is no reason for you to be guilty. Just because you are a mother doesn't mean you don't have life. You can be sad someday. And that's ok. No one is perfect. My siblings have a force of good people around them.”

Did my daughter just lecture me? “Don't try to turn the conversation. We are talking about you. You are not behaving like yourself”.

“I am behaving like myself. I have always called him Mr Carter.”

“But he is your father,” I insisted.

“I know. I have eyes like him… My hairs resemble him. I know he is the one who played a role in my formation.”

“Then respect him.” This is so frustrating. Just now, a 16-year-old lectured me. This is embarrassing as well.

“You never forced your decision on me… I expected the same for my siblings… But, you are forcing your decision on us. And, this is not your behaviour. I know you always thought in the back of your mind that you will give me the life that I deserve.”

“I am not forcing anyone to do anything.”

“Yes, you are.” She raised her voice. “You are forcing me to call him dad. He wasn't even around. I don't like him trying to make a conversation with me. I heard you crying. Do you know I was so scared of the thought of losing you? Even you demanded that I should leave with your husband. He threw me in the boarding school. His so-called son is nothing but a bully. He is not even his dad, but Mr Carter allows him to call him Dad. Your husband would hug him like he is a precious thing to him. That was my place. But knowing that he hurt you, I couldn't even look at him.”

“He never hurt me….” I tried to hug her, realizing the damage caused by Norma. Her pain, coated in her words, reminded me how many times Norma suggested that I should leave, and she would help me to get a divorce from James. But I never considered. In the initial days, I waited for my parents to arrive and talk to James and later, I was waiting for James to arrive so that we could play happy-home games. What a fool I was. I failed, Cherish in this. I always considered this was all about me, but I forget that I brought a third person into this mess.

“Stop defending him. I heard you. Your screams….” Cherish is angry now. “Whatever happened because you allowed it to happen. I could have been happier in two happy homes than being in one broken home. I remember Norma asking you to leave, but you never listened.”

“Norma is not what you think.”

“It's easy to blame others when you play an equal role in this life.” Getting up, she stormed out of the house. I watched my eldest child walking to her sibling, who are busy with James and Zippy.

Should I talk to Cherish?

Should I tell her about Norma?

“I can drive for you.” I almost jumped away from the car when I heard James' voice from my behind. “Do you want me to….”

“No, I can get a car for me.” Denying him, I pulled out my phone. As I opened the app to book a car for me, I feel James approaching me. He is getting closer to me.

“I am free for you.” He covered the screen of my phone and said.

“Suddenly, after 16 years…" I looked at him. “Oh, it's 17 now, from last day.”

He sighed. “I am not blaming you… Your memories are blurred.”

“You know, you never try to justify yourself to me. Maybe this is the reason I still don't trust you.” I challenged him. I took every word from serious, every word from Cherish. She is right. I played an equal role in this mess.

Closing the little distance to us, “well, I visited you and Cherish, every night, until I took Cherish with me.” He said. “I forced myself on you, 4 times… our wedding night…. Then, while we had Jamie, later in my temporary office when you wanted a chance to talk and lastly, here. I am not proud of myself. I should be behind the bars, but I was so angry at you. I thought you made Cherish hate me as well, I was desperate to return ADRIAN, his son. Not only that, but I called you a bitch. But trust me, I wasn't aware of Norma's plans against us.”

“I don't remember a few of the details.”

“I bet you don't remember how we conceived two pregnancies.” He took my hand in his hand and caressed them. “You lost our pregnancy again. We will never use stairs ever.” He ordered.

“I can do whatever I want.” I challenged him and pulled out my hands from his loose grip.

“Yes, you can do whatever you want, but not when it involves your health.” He caught my forearm, tight. “And, I am driving.”

“Are you serious?” James is angry, but pleasing him is not my priority. I need to clear a few things to Theo and I will talk to him. I don't care whether James is satisfied or not. “He scared our children. Annie is still scared of loud noises.” James continued as I get out of the car.

“I here to meet my parents. And having Theo here, helped because I was eventually going to talk to him. Eventually.” I looked around the area. This Church, orphanage, children…. Everything is so Serene.

“You are not talking to him.” Getting out of the car, James rushed towards me.

“And you can talk to Dr Harrington.” I taunted him.

“I am not talking to her or Dean.” Running his hands through hairs, “I am so sorry.” The pain was audible. “I don't know why, but I was missing you. And she was there. All the news that you heard about me being with other women was nothing but stories for sale. I have been with two women beside you. My stupid assistant and Anna. For me, she is Anna and you are Mrs Carter. She wasn't like you.”

“So you are comparing me and her.” My blood is boiling. My husband admitted to cheating on me with two women.

“No, you are misunderstanding. No one is like you.” He sounded desperate. “I trusted the wrong person. But, Norma was like a mother to me. She said she is taking care of you. But she did something else. She implanted false memories in your mind. I want to ask her was that necessary, but she is not my focus. You are my priority.”

“You said Norma loved you.”

James nodded.

“Then go and ask her why she ruined me?”

“Because she wanted you to leave me, and you are not separating from me. Everyone was feared for mom's reaction.”

“She could have told me the truth. She knew more than anyone in the world that I was mad about you.”

“She thought you are not permanent. She expected you to leave with Jamie since Cherish was with me. She tried to convince you through many people. Susan, Cherish, but you were determined.”

“Norma is a manipulator.”

Nodding his head, “but she saved your life. Every day, she fought for your survival.” He said.

“By labelling me as unstable.”

“She was determined to make you leave. She even saved money for you.”

“Then she should have helped her sister. His sister killed Willa and Malcolm.”

“I know, it sounds weird, but I think, we all are in the loop of misunderstanding. Because, I remember, mom was surprised when we told her Willa and Malcolm is no more….”

“I don't care…”

“Anna….” This word interrupt us. It was Theo and I realised he is here. And, I have to talk to him. Tell him that, I don't want any man in my life. I planned to collect my life into pieces.

James glared at me.

“I am here to talk,” I said to weak Theo.

.