I saw Worth looking at me awkwardly as we were in our room after the party. He looked like he wanted to say something, but something was keeping him from saying it. It didn't matter to me if he said something or not.

After all he said to me...? What is there to really say?

"Which side of the bed do you want to sleep on?" I just ask him plainly, seeing him look at it still with nerves. "If you can't decide I'll choose for you. I was just trying to be nice."

"I like to sleep in the middle." He tells me and I glare at him. "But because I'd want to lay close to you. I don't want to be separated by sides."

"Well, I want to be right now so...I'll choose the right side." I say firmly.

Walking out of the room now, I go into the bathroom so that I could get ready for bed. What else was there to say now, really?

As I'm starting the bath, I heard him walk into the bathroom too. He looked at a loss like he had something to tell me. I wasn't going to push it because it was the most obvious thing that he had words for me. I couldn't decide if they were good or bad, but I knew it was something.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I said what I said... I just...fell back into that mindset like I want to still protect him! I don't...want to protect him anymore and yet...I went off on you and said horrible things. It can't even be taken back or blamed on anger because it all came from somewhere. I had to have believed it to some extent for me to say it so easily..." He tells me, and I still just look at him. "I'm sorry... I'm not used to this. I'm not used to someone caring about or for me this much. I've just screwed that up. The one person that cared about me and I hurt him."

I saw him look upset by his actions more, sitting on the edge of the tub. I walk to the counter to be some feet away from him and he looked offended by that.

"I get it, you have trauma that is clouding your judgement. I understand, but you said some...foul things to me. You don't say stuff like that to someone you love. You offended me greatly, I have never been so offended and hurt before in my life-."

"I'm sorry." Worth whimpers, his hands running over his thighs as if to wipe the nerves away. "I always do this! I say shit that I...I don't want to say and I shouldn't say! I ruin what I have people and they start to hate me..."

"I don't hate you." I shook my head, sighing at him. "I'm just disappointed and hurt is all. You should've known better than to say what you said. Especially in front of all of your friends, then they're calling me out of my name. You hate the word 'bitch' right? Well, a friend of yours called me that very easily; but you were so caught up in how horrible of a person I am."

I shook my head at him, it was ridiculous.

"I am the horrible person. How could I say such things to you?"

"Don't ask me, ask yourself." I shook my head, going to the tub as I turn the water off. Right when I was going to walk away he grabbed my arm.

That was the last thing I needed in my opinion. Him clinging to me like this. Especially when I'm upset with him because then I won't have sympathy. My sympathy is absolutely nonexistent right now pertaining to him.

"I...have asked myself-."

"Well ask again." I yank my arm from him now, and he looked hurt again.

I don't need that...that look like I've done something wrong. Don't do this to me like I didn't try my hardest to help his ass and then he makes it out to be like I did it for a revenge tactic? If I really wanted revenge I would've just left his ass in there and had him charged for real when he tried to get revenge on me!

Except I didn't. I was actually pretty kind to him after that. He was the one fucking every new inmate who came in to make a point. So nothing I have done is wrong! Yet he wants to...I don't even know what he really wants.

He says it's me but...I don't think he knows himself.

Besides the trauma he's endured, I think he should focus on that more than a relationship.

Obviously being with him is just...I don't think that's-.

"Can I even say that this is a part of my destiny? What I've done to you...what I've said to you? Is it even done? Is there more to my destiny and if there is have I already fucked it all up?!"

"Worth fuck the whole destiny bit okay?!" I found myself snapping at him. He looked offended by me saying that, but I didn't care. "This whole destiny thing...the way you talk to people and how you act, your destiny isn't responsible for that. It's you that makes those choices, don't try to blame something else. You chose to say what you said, not fucking 'destiny'."

I glared at him, and he just looked away from me.

He just looked bothered now. What I said was true though. Trying to blame destiny on his shit choices and words.

Ridiculous.

"So you're saying fuck destiny to...us being together-?"

"Don't piss me off Worth you should not be on the pity train right now! I did everything I could for you and you just insulted everything I am! You really know nothing about me and you talked your shit. I'm not just going to forgive you like that, but I'm not going to hate you either. We're still together, I won't break up with you. Just know that things aren't the same right now." I tell him honestly.

I sigh, taking my clothes off as I go in the tub. He still sat there looking down at me. I wanted him to honestly...leave because I want to be alone.

By the way I looked at him, I could tell he didn't get the hint at all. He just sat there and I want him to walk away. Leave, go do something other than stare at me.

Before I would've wanted him to come in the bath with me probably. Now I just...want him out of my face.

"I can...make you something to eat." He offered suddenly.

"Like what?"

"Um..." Worth looked lost, beginning to grin shyly. "I can only make the basic generics."

"Like what." I say more plainly. waiting for him to say what that was.

I've seen him make ramen and sandwiches with the stuff they had at the jail. So I know he can make at least something. I don't have ramen in the house so I don't know what he's going to do then.

I can say I have sandwich stuff, but I don't like peanut butter and jelly. I'm allergic to peanuts...

"Do you have-?"

"You don't need to make me anything. There is nothing here that I have in this house that you could make; and I don't mean that rudely." I say just in case, causing him to nod oddly. "Just...can I be alone for a bit?"

I saw him nod awkwardly, standing up as he walked out.

Now I sigh, because I don't know if I am going about this right. I understand that he has trauma and that can affect how anyone goes about things and does things. Can even ruin relationships if it gets to that point.

I don't want to leave him, I can't do that to him. Especially considering the fact I might be... I can't say because it hasn't been long enough to even make that kind of assumption.

He was great around his friends kids. I could only say he'd be the same with his kids, if not better.

To be honest, I can't really say. It's way different terms though. A child has nothing to do with that...

When I finally get out, Worth wasn't in the room. I end up going downstairs to find him leaning against the wall. I saw him crying very silently and I looked at him sadly.

I didn't know what to do. Normally...I'd comfort him right then and there.

Sighing, I walk over towards him. Right when I get before him I found myself yanked right onto the ground with him. He hugged me close to him very tightly so that I had no wiggle room to escape.

His face was hidden between the crook of my neck, and I could feel his tears wetting such a place. My eyes divert some because I really couldn't even move to try and pat his back even if I wanted to.

"I feel like deep down I ruined everything once again with you... I was so close to losing you that one time when I tried to enact revenge. Now this...I can't do anything right. I fucking said all that shit and hurt your feelings once again. I am a horrible person, I know-."

"I don't hate you." I shook my head, still able to really move. "I was hurt, but I don't hate you. We both know your trauma and that can be a great benefactor-."

"I don't want to talk about some 'trauma'! I said that shit! What does trauma have to do with it?" He asks as he finally relaxes his grip.

I pull back some, looking at him with concern.

Did he not realize that he had trauma?

"Worth...you're traumatized."

"No, what I went through was-."

"Trauma! You were seventeen and had your life taken from you and you were used for your dick. Even from childhood, you have been traumatized. Micah beating you up when he was upset, your parents abandoning you both, this too... You are traumatized. All that trauma can stunt anyones growth mentally." I explain to him seriously.

He didn't seem all that convinced. That's how I knew that he didn't even realize he had an underlying issue. I shouldn't say issue, I just am tired of saying the word trauma; but that's what it is!

"I don't..."

"It's not even up for discussion."I interrupt quickly, sitting up before him now on the floor. "Tomorrow I have to meet my parents to discuss my qualifications and that one guy who was at the prison undercover, Tyrese, is back here. We are discussing what was going on and what will be done. You must come...you...you can't argue with me about because you have to. This needs to be talked about."

I stand up now, extending my hand down towards his.

"Now, get up and go take a shower. Because tomorrow you have lots of confessing to do." I say, and he looked up at me.

I felt like I was looking at that little kid I saw in high school. The one who admired me and who would do anything for me. Until it faded back to the Worth that was before me now.

"Malakai..." I say his actual name.

His eyes instantly softened from me saying his name alone. He grabbed my hand as I helped him onto his feet.

I didn't let go of his hand as I go back upstairs. Once we were inside I let go, only to feel him rush at me from behind.

His arms wrapping around my shoulders, he hugged me again.

I stay silent still because I didn't feel like I needed to say anything right then.

"You doing all of this... I haven't said thank you yet."

I flinch, because now that I think about it truly... He hasn't said thank you. Not that I really needed one for what I did, it was a must.

"You don't have to-."

"But I am."

I suddenly found myself pushed onto the bed. I turned around fast as he was over me and his eyes were glossy. Like he wanted to cry again and I found myself biting my lip. I didn't know what was wrong with me because I somehow found this arousing.

Within it all...being mad at him semi not really anymore...

Now he's doing this?

"What are you trying...to do?" I question calmly, feeling my cheeks get warm as he leaned towards me. His body laying over mine only to roll to the side. I see him sit on the edge now as he looked at me.

"Come here." He murmurs, and I flinched again.

Seeing him with his legs spread apart and looking dead at me. His eyes hooded upon me in wait.

I begin to sit up, and I looked at him for a bit. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give into this feeling, but I let myself. Going towards him, I straddle his lap and take in a hitched breath at the feeling of him groping me. I bite my lip down at him, his hands groping me forward.

"Unbutton your shirt for me." He husks, and I didn't hesitate in beginning to do so. Except I was so turned on and aroused that my fingers were fumbling over each other.

I was able to unbutton the top three before he just ripped at my shirt. Exposing my chest as his hand now groped it. My bottom gyrating against his lap as my head leaned forward over his.

This was different than just the regular stuff we do. Was it because of what happened? I wouldn't call this angry sex because we haven't gotten to that point... I believe it might get there, but...is that right to let it get to that point?

"Your chest is so soft, so tender... Your pecs are so sexy." He blew his cold breath on one of my nipples, a chill rushing down my spine. Until I feel him grope my chest fully as he pulled it forward. His tongue grazing upon it slowly until it reached the tip.

My lips tighten together to conceal my moans, my hand going over his shoulder as he continued to tease me. His other hand caressing my waist and hip.

When I feel him just completely take it in his mouth, I moan quietly to how his tongue teased me in such a way. Then for his hand to feel on me in such a way? It made it all the more sensual.

"So sweet." Worth pulls back now, not before kissing that now erect nipple. Only to go over to the other one and just rush for it.

My head going back in enjoyment as he pulled me closer to him. Linking his arms around me, not holding back whatsoever as his teeth bite down.

"Worth..." I moan his name, seeing him look at me under his lashes. I smile as I remembered that when I moan his name he always tends to lose it.

Except he surprised me as he pulled away from my chest, his fingers replacing instead. Just tightening and feeling on my nipples to the point that it reminded me how sensitive they can be.

To feel how hard he was under me was entertaining. I was impressed at how much he was keeping it together. That's when I knew I spoke too soon when I am placed on my back on the bed.

I see him stand up now...it just being the both of us in here. When he stared down at me, my eyes were already hooding upon his. Just...looking at him was enough to incite something within me that I can't even put into words.

Worth leaned over me fast, my arms wrapping around his neck once he was before me. Our lips were so close to one another's, but the longer we waited to kiss one another the tension became more strong.

To feel his hand go down my back and grope my ass again, biting my lip as I let my hand go down to his dick. I grope his dick that was hard as can be in my hand.

"Wait..." I say now, feeling him kiss my neck tenderly. "You're not trying to do this because you feel like it'll fix the situation right? Because it won't."

I saw him look at me now, his eyes narrowed as he chuckles.

"And if I did?" He questions me just as lustfully, and I look around his arm. I'm so used to being cautious that I forget, I don't need to worry about anyone coming upon us abruptly.

Worth went for the robe tie as he pulled it off, and I watch to see what he was doing with it. Once he did he was pinning my wrists above my head as he tied them together.

"What is this?" I question him. Only to get a chuckle out of him as he yanks my pants off. Completely spreading my legs apart, I watch him grip my dick in his hand.

His lips kissing the base, I moaned when he let his tongue run all the way down to my hole. Soft moans leaving my lips as he licked at such a spot gently, feeling his thumb graze it.

"I can see it's tight again. Even after having prepped you for so long with my fingers. You're tight as ever..." Worth began to further, and I couldn't even cover my mouth as my wrists were pinned above my head.

I just wanted to moan...so much because the feeling felt too good. Could feel him push my legs up more and he looked at me.

"You tightened, open it." He demands, and I bit my lip. I tried to relax, but I was just so nervous at feeling such a thing again. Only for him to spread my hole apart himself as he shoved his tongue almost completely inside.

My back arching to feel such a thing lick away at me. I could feel my body fighting against his hold on my wrists, embarrassed out of my mind the deeper he went.

I closed my legs though, feeling ashamed as there was a problem. I knew...he was resorting to this because I know he believes sexier sexual things is the way to distract. To have power or even to fix things, because that's what he did at the prison.

I don't want him doing that with me right here...

"W-Wait-!" I felt myself cum abruptly, and I see him sit up as he looked down at me. My lips tighten together as I cover my face.

"Nate why are you covering your face?"

I don't say anything because I am hoping he did this because he wanted to. Not because he feels like still...doing stuff like this is the answer to everything.

Because it's not.

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