Billy must have told Patience about the candle in the blacksmith shed. Rud was startled when her small hand slid under his arm and leather apron then pressed against his chest. Patience pressed her body against his back.

She steeled herself for this visit and was determined not to cry or even let him know she had been crying. No more manipulating, she would show him how much she loved and needed him. Rud tried to turn, but she held him there. She put the plate of food down then ran her other hand under the leather apron to his chest.

She squeezed him with all her might then relaxed lying against his back. Rud could feel the dampness on his back as she failed in her pledge not to cry. He was still here, and he was still hers. Patience was relieved yet still so very sad.

Rud put his hands on top of hers and let her cry. A few minutes later, she was done. Patience wiped her eyes on his shirt and just lay against him for a long time. Her breathing was slow and ragged as her emotions waned.

Patience wanted to tell Rud how much she loved him and couldn't exist without him, but nothing she could think to say seemed enough. Patience leaned up, kissed him hard on the back of his neck, and said, "You are my life."

* * * * *

Patience's words touched Rud's heart. He had said the words, but had he given himself to her as she had to him? No, how could he with all this hate and anger inside him. He had to let go of all the hate, anger, and fear if he wanted to be the man she deserved.

Just like the boy who had been kicked, Rud had been stuck where he was that night seven years ago. He could stay that angry little boy no longer.

The long-buried memories and emotions surfaced violently. The hate turned Rud's stomach, and he felt sick. The fear within him made him shake. The loss of his family, the betrayal by the villagers, all those feelings came back. He could not help it. It was like he was banging on those doors all over again.

He heard the shots and felt the pain again from seeing his father, mother, and sister die. The nights alone when sleep would not come because he feared he would be found and killed. Then he thought about what Patience meant to him, how much he needed her, and how it would kill him to lose her.

He did not want to hate. He was tired of being afraid. Slowly Rud started to break down.

In the quiet of the blacksmith shed with Patience holding him, the toughness gave way as the tears began to fall. All of the sorrow, hate, fears, and anger, all of it came out. Rud had never cried a single tear for his family. His grief had turned to hate, and he had used that hate to survive.

Defiant and bloody Rud had survived. But now he needed to make room for his love for Patience and all that had to go. Rud was letting go of who he had needed to be these last seven years. He was freeing himself of the scared, angry little boy.

* * * * *

Patience sensed a change in Rud. It startled her as he broke down and his emotions overwhelmed him. Rud crying so hard he was shaking? To Patience, Rud was like the mountains surrounding their valley. He had stood strong and resolute regardless of what life had thrown at him.

She was not there to help him that night long ago, or any of the nights he had spent alone, but she was here for him now. She held him, told him she loved him and she was here for him. She was feeling the walls come down as his body shook.

After a few minutes, Patience felt a calm come over Rud. She squeezed him tightly again, kissed his back, and lay the side of her head against him.

Rud turned and held Patience. She reached up and wiped the tears from his face, replacing them with her soft kisses. She saw a different man before her. He was still strong and resolute, but different. After a few moments, she led him over to a bench where she often sat and watched him work.

She turned him around and lifted his heavy leather work apron off his shoulders, then dropped it to the floor. She pushed him back until he sat on the bench. There was no resistance to her efforts. Patience sat sideways on his lap, her head lying against his chest, arms around him.

Rud put his arms around her, bent down, and kissed her head. Rud was emotionally and physically spent. His body relaxed as he breathed heavily, recovering from what he had just experienced. Patience stayed with him, not speaking, just being there for him.

After his breathing slowed, Rud started talking. Patience listened as he told her about his fears, and how he had held all the anger and hate inside him. And how he had needed to get rid of the hate and anger to be the man she deserved. He told her all he felt now was his love for her, and she was his everything. Patience knew he was finally, completely hers.

Once Rud had finished talking, they just sat holding each other. Patience reached up and kissed her man then leaned her head back against his chest. Everything was different now, everything.

Patience retrieved the breakfast she had brought him. She sat on his lap and slowly fed him, kissing his face often as she did. They sat together on the bench for some time, not talking, just being with each other.

When Rud recovered sufficiently, they walked hand in hand down to the lake and sat together on the half log bench. They walked through the meadow, and through the central path in the woods, Rud and Billy traveled to hunt and collect wood.

Patience left him to prepare the mid-day meal. Rud went back to the blacksmith shed but could not work. He just sat on the same bench where Patience had sat in his lap and comforted him earlier.

He was confused as to what to do. He had a singular purpose for so long, and that was to survive. Now that he had begun living again, he would need a new purpose. The only thing Rud wanted or needed was Patience, so Patience and his new family would be his purpose now.

As they ate, Billy teased Rud about taking an easy day, but even Billy could tell there was something different about Rud. Patience just smiled. She looked happier than Billy had ever seen her.

From crying this morning to all smiles this afternoon, Billy thought his sister was very strange. And, Billy thought, if Rud was going to take an easy day, he would too and asked if he could go fishing. Rud told him he thought that was a great idea.

That night Patience would sleep in her bed and Rud would be on the tattered old rug again, but from that night on Patience always made sure Rud told her he loved her, knew she loved him, and they kissed before they went to bed.

She was not satisfied with just a quick kiss. It had to be a full and loving kiss her body pressed fully against his. She would never let him have any reason to think he was unloved or alone again.