《I Guess I'll Love You. (BOOK ONE)》CHAPTER 17- I'm Not Running, I'm Trying. (TACO'S PERSPECTIVE)
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I shot up in Mic's bed, sweat pouring from me. My loose shirt was ruffled, and was exposing my stomach a little. To not wake Mic, I eased my shirt back to my waistline and sighed. I looked around. What the hell was that dream?
"Mic?" I whispered softly, shaking her. She yawned and gently swatted my hand away. "Yeah?"
"Um, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She nodded and I helped her sit up.
"I had another dream. I-.. you were dead, just you and everyone else. Dead bodies everywhere. Fan and Paintbrush were standing over me, saying I'd failed everyone. Saying I'd failed you."
I pulled my knees to my chest and kept speaking. "It feels like yesterday was, like, a year ago. I just want it to be like nothing ever happened. Why can't it be like that?"
Mic stayed silent for a moment. Then, she spoke.
"Taco, I.. I don't know what's going on with you, and why you're having these awful dreams, but I.. I'm with you, okay? Every step of the way, love."
I got up and went to our fridge, carefully weaving around the beds to not disturb anyone. I got a bottle of whiskey from the freezer and stared at it for a good minute before closing the freezer and bringing it back to our bed.
"Taco, what's that?" Mic asked, peering in the dark.
I stayed silent and opened the bottle. I flicked the bottle twice and, taking Mic by surprise, downed it all.
"Taco!" Mic snapped, grabbing it from me. She looked at the bottle, which was now empty, and read the label.
"Whiskey? Taco, wh- you drank it all?" Mic yelled, waking a few of the others.
"Why would you do that? We could've talked, you can't drown out your problems with alcohol!" she continued, glaring at me. I started to feel a little drunk, and I started to giggle.
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"Microphone, what's your problem?" Nickel asked, glaring at her. "You woke us up."
Nickel and Baseball shared a bed, I think it was because they were friends or something, I don't know.
Mic snapped her gaze to him and glared. "Well, Wise Guy, Taco just downed a whole bottle of whiskey! Do I not have a right to yell at her?!"
"Yell at her all you want, just do it outside, idiot. We're trying to sleep."
Mic grabbed my hand and dragged me outside. I was feeling drunk as all hell now, so I willingly followed.
When we got to the back of the cabin, I accidentally stumbled into Mic and pushed her over. She fell to the ground and put her palm on her face.
"Oh my god, ugh.." she muttered, getting up to face me.
"H-hey, love! I waz taller than you for onze!" I laughed, grabbing her hand and smiling like an idiot.
She sighed and put her hand on my face. "Taco, you can't just do that, especially at, like, midnight. You scared me."
I blinked, barely understanding her. "Whuh?" I asked, leaning into her to steady myself before I fell.
She sighed and put her hand on mine. "Taco, I know you want to drink those thoughts away. But you have to realize-.."
And the rest of her words were a blur.
When she mentioned the nightmarish thoughts, my memory shot to them and made me think of all those awful thing my mind had shown me.
Dead bodies, everywhere. Balloon was crawling towards me, screaming out for help. I tried so hard to get to him, but I couldn't. Then, a person swathed in shadow towered over him. One stab to his shoulder, and he stopped moving. Balloon was dead.
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I vaguely heard Mic from outside of my memories, but I couldn't hear what she way saying. Then I heard a clearer "Help me, Taco! Please!"
Tears welled in my eyes as I recognized the voice.
Mic.
She was running from the shadowed person. I ran towards her, but I was too slow. She looked panicked for a moment, before dropping dead at my feet. I looked up at that terrible person who killed the only person I loved.
"Why can't I see you?! Let me know who you are!" I screamed, punching the person until I'd grown weaker.
I felt someone shake me, and my vision swam back to reality. Mic was looking at me with dark fear clouding her gaze.
"Taco, wh-.. what happened in your dream?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
I stayed silent. I couldn't sum it up in words, plus I was extremely drunk so it wasn't like I could speak in my regular vocabulary anyway.
"Okay, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. We can take it one day at a time. Just.. let me know if anything's going on, okay? I want to be there for you. Even if it doesn't seem like that sometimes."
For the second time that night, tears welled up in my eyes and I smiled. I nodded and hugged her. She held her arms in the air for a second before putting them around me, and we just held each other for a good minute. I wept into her shoulder, and it felt good to cry since I hadn't for a long time.
Mic pulled away and took my hands. She lead me back to the cabin and helped me into bed. The last words I heard were, "Goodnight, my love. You're my world-" before we heard a scream.
Oh no. Not again.
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"When you figure out what you want, then come talk to me. Until then...get out of my face. I will speak to you in the morning." She said angrily and slammed her bedroom door in my face. I threw my body onto the hallway floor as tears streamed down my face. Screaming and crying as I pound on the door. "Johanna I'm sorry! Please I'm so sorry please don't go!" I slammed the door in Katie's face and sat on the floor as I listened to her scream and cry. Tears ran down my face and I banged my head against the door as I listened to my baby scream for me.
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