A day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought about Zac. I'm so annoyed at myself and Ruel for hurting Zac. He is the sweetest person ever. He is the last person on the planet that deserved it. I have called and texted him millions of times but he hasn't replied, but I totally get it, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who broke my heart to get with my best friend. I haven't even seen Ruel, I haven't answered his calls or texts. He stopped trying to contact me a week ago. I'm so mad that I lost Zac for nothing. This is why I swore to myself that I would never love someone again.

I am sitting on my stool at my kitchen island, staring out at my million dollar view. I didn't do anything to deserve it. I have finished my brunch and I'm just getting up to put my plate in the dishwasher, when my phone vibrates. I pick it up, and I see it's Ruel. I'm just about to block his number, when I catch a glimpse of what he's said. It feels like a bullet piercing through my heart. I read the message over and over agin, waiting for Ruel to text again and say he's kidding. But no other message comes.

i know i'm the last person u ever want to hear from, but this isn't about me and you. it's URGENT. there was an accident. zac is in hospital and he's in critical condition. he says he wants us to be there, because he doesn't have any family in his life. please come. please come say goodbye. not for me. not for you. for zac.

ruel

I'm surprised the door isn't detached in my stampede. The whole emergency care room is white, apart from him. He's red. Blood red.

"Zac, what-what happened?" I scream. I haven't cried like this since... Dad. I gently wrap my arms around Zac. I don't care if he doesn't want a hug. I don't care that Ruel is sitting in the room a meter across from me. I don't care that there are two doctors pulling me away from him. I need to hold Zac. I need him.

"I'm fine. I just got in a little fight with a shark," Zac says with a weak laugh. But I can tell that he isn't fine. Far from it. His face is so unbelievably pale and lifeless, and his voice is so quiet. Immediately I can tell he's dying.

"The doctors say there's nothing they can do. There's been too much blood loss," Ruel's voice whispers to me, quietly so Zac can't hear. I look at him and he looks just as grief-stricken as me. His eyes are red and puffy and tears look like they have been streaming down his cheek for hours.

"This cannot be happening!" I scream, wailing.

The doctors are still pulling me away from Zac, and I don't want to hurt him, so I step back, but I don't let go of his hand.

"Thank you for coming," he says, so softly. He's crying too now, "I'm sorry I didn't reply to your calls or messages. I just couldn't handle it."

"Don't you dare say that!" I scream, "You did nothing wrong at all. I'm sorry Zac. I'm so unbelievably sorry."

"It's okay," he replies, "I knew that it would happen."

"What? How?" Ruel asks, his voice breaking.

"By the way you looked at her," Zac says to Ruel. He smiles.

Suddenly I can't feel his pulse. I don't understand the many screens around me, but I can tell the heart monitor isn't showing the beating of his heart any more.

"No!" I howl, "Don't go! Please don't go!"

Ruel is screaming too, but I can't tell what he's saying. The panicked voices of the doctors around me all blur together.

I can't believe it. That could not have just happened. But I know it did. Zac's gone. Forever.