《Behind the mask》Not to you
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Astrid was in a thoroughly bad mood as she left school after practice. It was dark and cold and she couldn't believe what had happened. Even Cami stomping alongside her, cursing casually and vowing painful vengeance wasn't lifting her spirits: in fact, it was causing more of a problem as Astrid saw the shape leaning against the wall on the corner.
"That bitch Savannah!" Cami spat. "I'll slap her so hard her grandkids will feel it!"
"Look, it's no point you getting into trouble by confronting her!" Astrid told her shortly. "All that does is put you in the wrong!"
"But they were laughing and high-fiving!" Cami growled.
"And you and Heather were dragging Ruff back!" Astrid reminded her. "Any of you hitting Savannah makes you as bad as her!"
"Ast-that wasn't an accident!" Cami exploded.
"She said it was and the Coach believed her," Astrid said angrily, seeing Hiccup glance up and see the two girls. He fished his phone from his pocket and his fingers danced over the screen, his head bowed in concentration. Cami scowled as they walked past.
"What's he doing here?" she snapped. Astrid glanced at him and saw his shoulders stiffen for a second. She shook her head.
"No matter," she said quickly as they walked past. "Look, Cami-I appreciate your anger but I don't want this to get any worse. Lilah is targeting me because she's jealous and sore about her party. And maybe I was mean...though she did deserve it. We've just gotta be more careful and make sure we don't get caught like this."
"But she did it on purpose..."
"I know that. You know that. They know that! But getting mad achieves nothing. We gotta be better than them. Remember who we are. D'you think my going up and punching Savannah will make anything better-or give Lilah ammunition to bitch more about me?" Cami scuffed her boots through the slush on the sidewalk and shrugged.
"You know you're right," she grumped. Astrid nodded with a small smile. "You wanna come home and chill?"
"My Dad will be waiting," Astrid sighed. "I got Thanksgiving off but I promised to work hard after. I've got a mountain of homework." The smaller blonde paused for a moment, then gave Astrid a firm hug.
"If you need anything, call me," she said and shook her head as she walked off. "Still say I should've punched her lights out!" Astrid smiled as she watched her vanish round the corner...then paused, glancing back: Hiccup was nowhere to be seen...and she felt a slight tingle of worry. He had insisted on walking her home since he moved in, finally admitting it was because he was worried about Dagur and his gang. She had wondered whether he was putting it on or exaggerating...but she recalled the fear she had felt in Ruff's house and the way the Bad Boys had reacted to Hiccup's 'betrayal'. It wasn't worth risking it. But as she gazed around, there was no sign of the tall shape and she sighed, hefting her bag over her shoulder and turning back towards the road home. She somehow didn't feel as safe without him...
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"Wow. Your friends really don't like me, do they?" Hiccup said, vaulting over the wall. She gave a small shriek and backed away, her fists raised. He backed up a pace. "Whoa! Friend...sort of..." he added hastily.
"Why did you do that?" she asked, glaring at him.
"Because your friend didn't want me around," he said lightly, though his expression betrayed his hurt. "I mean...none of them would help me if I was dying in the street, would they?" She stared at him.
"They're not that bad," she said defensively. "They just don't like you because you knocked me over first day of the year and thought it was a laugh." He stared at her.
"That's it?"
"Yup. They didn't like it. Nor did I." She stared fiercely at him and he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.
"Um...did I ever apologise?"
"Nope."
"Oh," he murmured. He squared his shoulders. "Okay. Sorry. I mean, it wasn't much fun and I've had a lot worse more or less daily but that doesn't mean you deserve it. I probably do..."
"Actually, I don't think it's ever justified," she pointed out. He shrugged.
"Anyway, sorry," he admitted. "Wasn't fair. But sometimes, you do stupid things to fit in-especially if you don't have anyone else." He sighed. "Now...what was Cami talking about? She seemed mad..." Astrid shook her head.
"It's nothing..." she said looking away but Hiccup's green eyes narrowed and his hand rose, catching her chin and lifting her head, his warm fingers sliding up to very lightly ghost over the bruise on her left cheek, feeling the swelling and seeing her wince.
"Looks more than nothing," he murmured. "Looks like a punch in the face..."
"Elbow, actually, but she said it was an accident," Astrid mumbled.
"Cami doesn't think so. Neither do I," he said softly. "Hmm...that's going to leave you with a nasty bruise...maybe a black eye..." She pulled away from his gentle touch and nodded.
"I checked before I came out," she murmured. "I guess my parents may be mad..."
"Concealer," he said softly. "I'm sure your Mom has some. Mine used to use it after her new husband...well, after he'd been drinking and I wasn't around..." He turned away and she stared. It was a very soft, very personal confession that raised more questions than it answered but that she knew she couldn't ask. She sped up to walk alongside him, glancing up at his thoughtful face.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked, searching his face. He gave a small smile.
"That if Lilah and her friends like it rough, I can oblige them," he murmured.
"You're not going to cover them in green goo again?" she asked him, half-amused and half-flattered that he was taking her injury so seriously. He quirked a half-smile.
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"You wound me!" he protested. "I never repeat! That insults my prank-creating abilities!" She cast him a small smile, the first since that elbow had planted firmly in her face.
"You know, someone will guess it was you," she warned him. "You could get in trouble."
"Sorry, have you forgotten who you are talking to?" he asked her snarkily. "Hiccup Haddock! I could sit quietly in the library all day and I'd still be the first one blamed for any trouble!"
"Hey, I just don't want you in trouble," she protested, her tone a little irritable. He walked silently for a few yards then sighed.
"Sorry, Astrid," he murmured. "I just don't like you being hurt...um...not in a creepy way, obviously, but more in a your-mother-told-me-to-look-out-for-you way..." She ground to a halt and stared at him, her fair brows dipping under her woolly hat.
"What?" Her tone was freezing and he snapped round to face her, his green eyes wary.
"Um...your Mom may have asked me to keep an eye out for you in payment of staying," he said urgently.
"So you're spying on me?" she roared. He backed up another pace.
"No, no, no, no, no..." he gabbled. "Astrid-NO!"
"What have you told her?" she snapped. A horrible thought struck her. "Does she know about the party?"
"No!" he protested. "Odin-I would never tell her. I promised!"
"And you always keep your word?" she accused him. He took a slow breath and nodded.
"Always," he said firmly. She met the sparkling green gaze with her own accusing one...and saw determination but also hurt in the eyes. "Astrid, I promised I would look out for you. That means I try to stop you getting hurt. It means I care for you. It means...it means if someone gets blamed for paying back Savannah or Lilah, then it's me, not you!" She paused and stared at him, shocked at the quiet admission.
"Are you serious?" she asked. He paused and nodded, unable to meet her eye.
"Look, I owe you my life and the home I have with your family," he admitted in a shamed voice. "I promised my Dad I would look out for Mom...and I did, until Al threw me out. No matter what he did to me, no matter how much I hated him, I stayed...because I had promised. And I let my Dad down when he threw me out because I couldn't protect her any more..." He took a shuddering breath...and then felt a mittened hand grasp his. He started and stared down into her face.
"I-I'm sorry," she said, gripping tighter. "I-I misjudged you..."
"Nothing new there," he muttered. He tried to pull away but she gripped his hand tighter.
"No," she said urgently, pulling him back. "Look, you're right. You have looked out for me...but I'm eighteen. I mean-why would I want my Mom looking over my shoulder the whole time?"
"I never did that," he protested softly. "I've got some pride left. I don't tell her anything...she just wanted me to protect you, I think..." He sighed. "Yeah, I guess I'm in trouble now. I know you don't need my protection, Astrid. I know you can't speak to me or acknowledge I exist and I understand that, I really do...but when you're not at school, you're kind and funny and you treat me like a person...and I will always be grateful for that." He turned away, his hand still trapped by her fierce grasp. "I like you," he murmured. "I'm sorry...but I do..."
He tried to pull away but she jerked him back. "You what?' she demanded. He turned back with a lopsided, bitter smile.
"Don't worry-I know it's impossible," he said quietly. "Just...please...treat me like a person out of school. I don't think I could manage if no one treated me like a human being..."
"Hiccup...I kind of like you too," she admitted. "I mean sure, you're skinny and sarcastic and stubborn..."
"Hey...those are my good qualities!" he protested. She gave a small smile.
"But you're also brave and kind and clever and you do protect me..." she told him.
"...and there goes my rep," he sighed, allowing himself to be pulled closer to her and look into her face. He gently raised his hand to her wound and frowned slightly. "I am your friend, Astrid. I know I'm nothing at school. But please believe me when I say I hate seeing you hurt."
"Me too," she admitted.
"Hmm...I'd be worried if you liked seeing you hurt..." he teased her gently. She lightly punched his shoulder. "Owww! Why do I think you need any sort of protection?" he protested.
"Idiot! I meant I hate seeing you hurt!"
"Me too!" he smirked and ducked another swat at him. "Hmm...getting worried over here, to be honest," he added. She smiled and saw him relax.
"It's okay," she sighed. He stroked her face just once, very gently then pulled back, still holding her hand as they turned towards her home.
"No," he told her gently. "It doesn't matter what happens to me, if I get tripped or hit or thrown aside. But if must happen, it should be to me, not to you."
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