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Cheongsan hated Gwinam for how much he loved him. He could have had a normal life. He could've been happy. He could've done something other than falling for a psychopath but he didn't.

They sat on the rooftop of their old school. They had broken in somehow, Gwinam was an expert at breaking into things or just breaking things. They were sat on the wall, their feet dangling off the ledge. Cheongsan took a deep breath in and felt Gwinam stroke his hand beside him. Taking him out of his calmness, he looked down and noticed Gwinam was urging to hold his hand.

"fuck off I'm not a kid anymore, trying to hold my hand and give me the bare minimum of affection isn't going to solve anything" cheongsan moved his hand away from him and placed it on his lap. Gwinam smiled, sarcasm filling his expression.

"but you're here, in school, on the rooftop, like we're kids again" He smirked, knowing that Cheongsan was still easily persuaded. Cheongsan rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"fuck I don't even know what I'm doing here" he began to climb down from the wall and walk to the fire exit til Gwinam latched onto his arm, practically begging him to stay.

"you're here because you still love me," his smug expression faded and cheongsan was hit with a genuine tremble from Gwinam "and i still love you" he stuttered, as if he was afraid to say the words. Cheongsan chuckled.

"If love is being pushed around and then given a hug when I was visibly upset, I don't want it" Cheongsan began to walk away.

"you wanted it back then" Gwinam blurted out, slightly annoyed. Not ten seconds ago, Cheongsan was happy to see Gwinam and now he was having second thoughts.

"because i was young and didn't know what love really even was" Gwinam smirked, Cheongsan's face scrunched up. He walked back towards Gwinam who had put his hands in his pockets. He remembered that stance, he always use to do it when Cheongsan was mad, mainly because Gwinam found him cute when he was mad but cheongsan hated it because all it was to cheongsan was a reminder of how shit Gwinam was at love.

When cheongsan was face to face with Gwinam once again, he placed his hand on his cheek. Gwinam was surprised by the physical touch and his face burnt up.

Cheongsan chuckled.

"still not use to that, are you?" Gwinam grabbed his wrist and shoved his hand away from him, he got violent when he felt weak, "if you actually loved me, why do you still put up a front? I know you're weak and I don't care, I'm weak" he shrugged, Gwinam just stared past him, spacing out in shame.

"you were the only person I tried to loosen up around, and when you left me, it broke me and it felt like I couldn't breathe, I didn't come here to give you my life story I came here to see you, to feel free again" Gwinam held back his tears with all his strength. Cheongsan nodded.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't breathe in the relationship, you treated me like a friend and I deserve more than that, I deserve to be loved" Cheongsan shrugged.

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