Story setting: 90 Days in Yellow (in between part 4 & 5)

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"Lawyer, Ekonomista, Naninindigan, I love you Sen. Risa."

I read the placards I could still read one by one. Gabi na pero grabe ang taas pa rin ng energy ng mga tao dito. Kahit medyo inasahan na naming marami ang pupunta, nakakagulat pa rin na makita ang ganito kalaking crowd in person.

The program ended kaya we went backstage.

"Tita Leni!" I heard someone call me. I turned around and saw that it was Risa's eldest daughter.

"Issa!"

"I missed you, Tita. Long time no see po."

"Oo nga. How was your day? Diba you did courtesy calls for Risa?"

"Opo, madami-dami din pong napuntahan."

We talked momentarily as she shared her experience in campaigning for her mom. Nakwento na rin niya na magkasama sila ni Tricia kahapon sa Anak ng Fuschia event. My kids and Risa's kids are good friends naman kasi in a way they grew up together.

Nagpaalam na akong mauna kasi tinatawag na rin ako ng staff and security na pumasok na sa van so we can head out to dinner.

"Wait, picture po tayo, Tita, okay lang po ba?"

"Yes naman, no problem."

Issa and I posted for a picture and we hugged before I departed. "Ingat kayo ni Risa. See you sa dinner."

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Habang kumakain kami, I felt someone's presence behind me tapos may biglang bumulong sa tenga ko, "I love you too, VP Leni."

"Ay tangina!"

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko sa gulat. Parang nalaglag 'yung puso ko sa sobrang pagkabigla. 'Yung bumulong naman sa tenga ko halos mamatay na sa katatawa.

"Ang bad mo, VP! Nagmumura ka." She let out in between her giggles, clutching her stomach and even holding on to Chel, who was seated beside me, for support.

"Nako, buti na lang walang camera dito kundi ma-splice ka na naman." Sabi ni Chel.

"Nakikita ko na headline ng mga trolls bukas kapag nahuli ka. VP Leni endorsed ng simbahan pero palamura." joked Teddy from beside him.

"Nambibigla kasi 'to si Risa. Akala ko aatakihin na ako sa puso."

"Ako rin, akala ko aatakihin ako sa placards na binabasa mo. Bakit ka naman nag-hello kay Natoy?" tanong ni Kiko. Everyone seated at the table laughed.

"Nakalagay do'n Natoy daw binasa ko lang. Sino ba 'yun?"

"Si Zanjoe 'yun sa isang palabas dati." Sharon explained.

"Ohh, okay."

Risa sat down on the vacant chair beside me tapos tumatawa pa rin siya. Once she calmed down, out of the blue, she interrupted Sharon and Chel's conversation to say, "Lawyer."

I looked at her in confusion. Pinagsasabi nito?

Sumagot si Chel, "Ekonomista."

"Pinagsasabi niyo dyan?" I asked. Gulong-gulo na ako ano ba 'to. Walang sumagot sa'kin, ang galing.

It seemed like Kiko got the reference and he replied, an almost-evil grin on his face, "Naninindigan."

"Sabay-sabay," said Risa who sat beside me.

Lahat ng kasama ko sa table spoke in a chorus, "I love you, Sen. Risa."

I felt my blood rush to my face. "Binasa ko lang 'yung placard!" I said, defensively.

"Wala namang nagsabi na hindi mo binasa. Ang witty lang." Kiko defended.

I shook my head, still feeling embarrassed. Hindi ko naman napansin na sinabi ko pala 'yun. Nakakahiya shet gusto ko na magpalamon sa lupa.

Napansin ni Risa na tahimik na ako kaya she changed the topic. Hinawakan niya 'yung braso ko and raised her eyebrows as if to ask if I'm alright. I nodded and touched her hand, reassuring her na walang problema. Nahihiya lang talaga ako sa pang-aasar nila.

The dinner ended and my staff and I were in the elevator paakyat sa hotel room. Tahimik lang kami pero biglang nagsalita nang mahina si Bryce. Akala niya siguro hindi ko maririnig.

"Lawyer. Ekonomista. Naninindigan. Ano sunod?" Tanong niya sa katabi niya.

Nagpigil ng tawa 'yung iba kong staff kaya nilingon ko na sila. I wasn't mad. Love language na namin ng staff ko mag-asaran kasi we're like a family. Pero still, nahihiya pa rin ako kasi hindi ko naman talaga napansin na sinabi ko pala 'yun.

"I love you, Sen. Risa." I stated, answering Bryce's question. Sakto, nagbukas 'yung elevator doors and if this day couldn't get any more humiliated.

Risa stood outside her hotel room door and she obviously heard what I said kasi nakatingin siya sa'min halatang nagulat rin.

Lord, naging masipag naman ako today. Bakit mo naman ako pinapahiya nang ganito?

Nagtitigan muna kami saglit bago kami lumabas ng staff ko sa elevator. They were attempting to hide their laughter pero they failed kasi naririnig ko 'yung paghagikhik nila. Pumasok na sila sa hotel room namin which was a few doors away from Risa's. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Risa sa hallway.

"Wag ka na mahiya. Dapat gawin mong makatotohanan 'yung letter N sa Leni."

"Naninindigan?"

"Oo. Nasabi mo na kaya panindigan mo."

"Baka 'pag ginawa ko talaga, kiligin ka."

Hindi ko na alam saan nanggagaling 'yung pinagsasabi ko at mas lalong 'yung confidence ko. I looked away from Risa and I's eye contact.

"Nahiya ka pa sa'kin. This isn't the first time you told me you loved me, Leni." She said, leaning on the wall.

It wasn't. I remember the 2016 video where I said 'I love Risa Hontiveros'. And I also say it in soft moments when we'd seek comfort and companionship in each other.

Pero as a friend lang 'yun. As a confidant.

Words of affirmation ang love language ni Risa kaya it never shocked me when she said it before. I understood that she meant it platonically.

But with how I'm feeling right now, how confused I am, and how my mind won't let me rest until I figure out why I'm seeking Risa's presence all the damn time, alam kong iba na.

"I..." I tried to speak but no words came out. Parang biglang natuyo 'yung lalamunan ko.

She laughed and gave me hug. "Good night. Rest well, okay? I love you, VP Leni."

I stood there frozen as I watched her open the door to her room and retire for the night.

Dumaguete, what have you done?