“Mom, I don’t feel so good…”

“Don’t worry, Nel! Mommy’s here, so everything’s alright! Oh, and if you feel like throwing up, just tell me and I’ll raise you above the bulwark!”

Yeah, the girls are panicking way too much about a boat ride across the seas… And to think, the skies are as clear as can be, and there aren’t even any big waves threatening the ship’s integrity. These two are just overreacting way too much.

“Guys, would you calm down?” I chuckled, “Nelly, want some sniffing alcohol? It might make you feel a bit less nauseous.”

“Alcohol?!” Cecily hissed, “Are you crazy? She’s still just a kid! And besides, what kind of a parent gives their daughter alcohol willingly!?”

“I…” Cecily frowned before reaching for the bottle of alcohol in my hands, “I’m not… a kid. Now gimme!”

Hold on, I didn’t mean for her to drink it. Geez, these girls are really annoying when it comes to boat rides, clearly neither of them are using their brains properly. In fact, it’s kind of cute how they’ve dumbed down this much just from a little topsy-turvy.

“God, geez, let go of that!” I yanked the bottle out of Nelly’s hands, “That’s not how you remedy seasickness! See here, you actually apply the alcohol to a handkerchief, put it up to your nose, and sniff – ahh, much better!”

Truth is, it wasn’t all that better. The familiar stinging sensation followed by a strong urge to throw the bottle overboard was ever present in my mind, but I just had to hold it in. Why, you ask? Well…

“Okay, sniff…” Nelly followed my instructions to a T, before violently coughing, “Ack! What the-!?”

Almost as if it was second nature, Nelly threw the bottle overboard after sniffing it. This strong yet nostalgic action made me tear up from laughing, all the while Cecily was repeatedly punching me on the arm as a form of revenge for pranking my daughter.

“Hahaha! You should’ve seen your face!” I said whilst frantically trying to grab onto the ropes so as not to fall, “Sorry Nelly, but when it comes to pranks, you’ve still got dozens of years before you can surpass me!”

Recalling Nelly’s prank that she played on us when the boat was just departing, Cecily stopped her barrage of attacks and lightly blushed. In all honesty, a peck on the lips wasn’t all that much of an issue for me, since I’ve gotten all that and more with Marina, so I really didn’t care all that much. Cecily on the other hand…

“T-That!” She hurried up her speech, “That was just an accident! That didn’t mean anything, so just forget it happened, okay?!”

“Hmm…” I put on a dangerously smug grin, “Are you perhaps talking about the kiss?”

“Stop it! I don’t even want you to mention that word!”

“Kiss!” Nelly began to chant, “Kiss, kiss, kissity kiss kiss kiss!”

“Nelly, I’m gonna throw you overboard if you don’t stop!”

“Don’t do that, Cecily! You don’t want our daughter to kiss the fishies!” I jeered.

“It’s sleep with, not kiss, jackbutt!”

“That’s rather vulgar, isn’t it? She’s still far too young for that stuff…”

Not being able to withstand the constant flow of counters to any of her arguments, Cecily tried her best to hold in her anger before grabbing a nearby barrel, opening its lid, and screaming the most horrid things I could’ve imagined inside. Thankfully though, the sounds were so muffled due to the barrel’s sound-reflecting nature that only someone with a sailor’s mouth could recognize what exactly she said. A young girl without any experience with swear words wouldn’t even find what Cecily said corrigible, so at least that worked out.

“Dad, annoying mom is fun and all,” Nelly tugged on my sleeve, “But it’s getting bowing. Got anything fun we could do?”

Heh, I’m so proud of my daughter…! She’s the spitting image of her father, at least mentally speaking. I actually don’t know who her real parents are, and I probably never will, but that doesn’t change the fact that our little Nelly learned how to prank others, so I’m all for it! Actually, a girl growing up to be a prankster would be a bit unsightly. It’ll be way harder for her to make friends, and later get herself a man, so I should probably discourage that kind of behavior.

Then again, Marina had her prankster moments, and still despite that she somehow managed to snag me. So the answer to the question, Should a girl be allowed to pull pranks, I think the correct answer is “Who’s to say.” Certainly, some people may find it off-putting how a girl would let herself act so, dare I say, unladylike, but to others that might just be the most adorable thing they’ve ever seen. It’s a thing of preference, like many other factors about love, so I think I’ll let her be for now.

“Whoop-!” I turned back around to see Nelly dangling off the handrails, “Hehe, look dad, if you don’t find me something intewesting to do, then I’m walking the plank! Hehe~!”

“Nelly!” I jumped with all my might, just barely catching her from falling down into the sea below, “Goddammit, Nelly! No more pranks, after all!”

***

After Nelly nearly swam with the fishies for real, I handed her off to Cecily to, ahem, lecture her. And of course, by lecturing, I meant spanking. Yeah, I don’t feel comfortable hitting my family members, especially after that thing I did to Cecily back in the Lis army base, so I think I’ll leave that job to the mom.

Crying out in pain after each consecutive spank, it really made for a sorry scene. I did feel bad for her, since I didn’t expect Cecily to not hold back her strength at all. Well, I kind of get that it was a really bad prank, and that it could’ve ended horribly wrong, but is that raw unfiltered strength really necessary when lecturing a 5 year old?

“Ow! I’m sowwy, I won’t do it again!” Nelly yelped, “Yeow!”

“Y-Yeah, Cecily, maybe hold back a bit for her sake? She’s still just a kid, so she didn’t know any better.”

“Didn’t know any better?” Cecily glared back at me, “That stupid attitude of hers almost got her killed! I don’t care if she grows to hate me anymore, but if that’s what it takes for her to learn to not risk her life for a laugh, then I’ll beat all the sense into her sorry ass that I have!”

“A-Ass?” Nelly turned her head before getting struck once again, “Ow!”

Well, there goes the “No swearing” rule. Looks like Cecily’s rage made her mouth work before her brain, so she accidentally let that one slip. You could also tell that she immediately realized what she had just done wrong and tried to drown it out by delivering more pain to her daughter’s as- ahem, behind. That being said, it seems like my words finally reached her, because she finally let her daughter go, albeit with a red hot behind.

“Daaad! Save me~!” She huddled up to me.

“Alright, I’ll keep you safe.” I patted her on the head, “But only if you promise not to play anymore dangerous pranks! Pranks are only good if they’re funny to everyone involved, so don’t be selfish with your humor, okay?”

Gulping as she looked up at me, she sniffled a bit more before slowly nodding in agreement. What a good kid I have! Is what I would say, if she didn’t just blow her nose on my trousers…

“Phah! That’s bettew!” She smiled innocently, “Now, I wanna play!”

“Urgh, alright, I think I have a game for you.” I tried washing off the snot off of my pants before giving up, “There’s this game I really liked playing that I actually learned on a boat. It’s called ches-!”

Interrupting our little talk, the boat began rocking uncontrollably. Odd, I thought, The clouds showed no signs of there being any bad weather during the voyage… Thinking the worst, I quickly got up to the helm to get a better view of our surroundings, but I didn’t actually think it’d be that bad.

“Is that…” I looked at the giant octopus in front of us, “A Krakethulu?”

Indeed, a Krakethulu is a nearly mystical creature, given the extremely rare chances of encountering one while out in the seas, but the issue didn’t just lay there, as the captain of the ship seemed quite anxious.

“Crap, to think I’d meet that damned monster again so soon…!” He swore with all his might.

“Captain, what’s the issue!?” I yelled through the raging waves.

“You blind or something?! Look in front of you and you’ll see what the issue is!” He shot back, “Dammit, I gotta man the cannons, but I can’t just leave the wheel unattended. Listen, I’ll think of something, so just get your family inside!”

Quickly grabbing onto the wheel of the ship, I addressed the Captain with a stern voice, “I know how to steer a ship, so tell my family to head inside and get those cannons ready!”

Smirking at a young man’s tenacity, he patted me on the shoulder before quickly running off. Cecily and Nelly could be seen running inside, and a set of cannons could be seen being rushed through to their stations. The Captain gave me the signal, and I swerved with all my might.

“Fire!” The captain yelled as all of the cannons simultaneously fired off their rounds, “Reload, men, reload!”

He didn’t even wait to see if we missed the shot or not before giving out his next orders. Truly, this must be how a captain works. No thinking, just actions, and that’s exactly what we needed. There was actually no worries about whether it is that we’ve missed the Krakethulu or not, because it was so close to us that there was surely no way we could ever possibly miss such a big target.

Roaring as hard as it could, the Krakethulu seemed to back up for a bit, before finally showing us why it maneuvered in such an odd way. In reality, the octopus-like beast didn’t do so due to feeling pain, but rather so it could reach down to the sea’s surface and grab a set of rocks and boulders to retaliate with an attack of its own.

“Brace!” The captain yelled out, all the while ducking.

With this, half the ship’s sails, as well as the main crow’s nest were completely obliterated. Such a throwing force was incredible to witness firsthand, but I really couldn’t care less in the moment. All I did was try and set us up for another attack.

“Good job, kid!” The captain gave me a thumbs up, “Now, everyone! Fire!”

This time, one of the cannons had actually hit it in its central eye, thus knocking it back so far that it had to retreat. I thought it was a shame to let it continue terrorizing the open seas, so while I was trying to steer the ship back and go after it, the Captain hastily took the wheel from me.

“Whoa there, kid! We did enough here.”

“But Cap’!” I refuted, “If we let that thing go, it’ll just continue to go after future ships once it heals!”

“Alright.” He raised a point, “Suppose we do go after it, what then? The damned thing is already deep underwater, and we can’t exactly tail it all the way there, can we?”

“A-Ah…”

“Not to mention, what’ll you do with your family?” He added, “If you really want to keep others safe, at least try and put those girlies of yours first. That’s a father’s and a husband’s end goal, y’know?”

Heeding his advice after a bit more thinking, I handed him the wheel and went down to check up on the two girls. They were ecstatic to see me save the day and actually fend off a Krakethulu with the other sailors, but I didn’t want to get too ahead of myself.

All we managed to accomplish was wound it for a while, but it’s not like we killed it. It’ll come back, and next time there may not be another passenger that’ll know how to steer a boat…