Looking around everyone looks happy and it was full of joy. Sid was smiling and teasing his brother, who was waiting impatiently in the pavilion for his bride to arrive.

Finally, the most awaited day in the Aryan household has arrived. The wedding was happening in the beach house of Aryan's.

After so many twists and turns finally, Ved and Niharika are going to tie the knot today.

The wedding is very private, only some close relatives and a few friends were invited.

The stage was set up on the private beach of Aryan's decorated with white and pink tulips along with off-white beaded curtains. The evening sun was giving a majestic glow to it and the guests seated in front of the pavilion was eagerly waiting for the bride to arrive so that the wedding rituals could begin.

Ved was sitting in front of the holy fire with all his glory. He was wearing a peach-colored sherwani with golden embroidery on it, and on his head sat a golden-colored turban with a brooch with stones and a white feather decorating it. The layered ruby necklace completed his royal vibe.

My eyes wandered to the man kneeling beside him, smiling widely while whispering something into his brother's ears.

He looked so happy that I felt bad about what I was about to tell him later this day.

He looked relaxed and so elegant in his baby blue sherwani with a peacock design on his left chest and an emerald and white stone necklace adorning his neck.

In the past six months, he has been my support system. He was always there when I needed him. I know I am going to rip out his heart but I had to do it, not only for me but also for him too.

He is the most kind-hearted and caring person I have ever seen. Nobody ever loved me like how he loves me. I don't know what I should award this man with, for being so patient with me.

I can undoubtedly say that I love this man with all my heart. And I know he deserves so much better than what I could offer him. He is the only thing that bounds me to this very place.

Everyone thinks I am getting better. Even my doctor says I am improving greatly, but deep down inside me only I knew how much I am struggling. How much effort I am putting to create the brave facade I am letting others see.

Nobody knows the silent tears wetting my pillows every day when I press my face into them to muffle my cries. No one knows about the scars I am giving my inner thighs to get relief from the pain my heart enduring.

The fact that I am alone in this cruel world makes me depressed beyond repair. Every day when I look into the mirror I remember how much I deserve to die.

Everyone tells me it will get better, that time heals every wound but they don't know everyone around me reminds me of my past, it makes me remember I have no one for me, I am an orphan with no one to rely on.

I loathe all the pity and sympathy that they were throwing my way. I feel so helpless and I hated it. I hate to be around people who give pity. Everyone thinks that I am a fragile girl who cannot handle herself. I wanted to shout at them and tell them to fuck off.

I know I sound ridiculous and I knew everyone loves me and they are trying to help me but I am a mess now. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering into wild thoughts. I was starting to hate everyone close to me and that includes him. And that is something I can't afford. I want him to be my most precious memory, to cherish for a lifetime. But I am failing at it miserably.

I am a fucked up person. I need a break, a break from everything, a break from all the bad memories and things that reminds me of them. A fresh start is what I needed, I want to leave behind all the unfortunate things that happened to me and start afresh.

And the most precious thing I am about to leave behind is him.

The slow music brought me back from my trance. Everyone turned around in their seats to take a look at the beautiful bride, slowly making her way towards the pavilion with a sweet smile adorning her face. With her mother holding her hand and her sister and best friend on either side of them, they lead her towards the majestic groom, who was sitting in the pavilion and looking at her without a blink.

Niharika looked simple yet stunning. The wine-red Banaras saree looked stunning on her. She was wearing a set of choker necklace with Kundan stones and jumkas that was a perfect match for them. Her hair was in a low bun above her neck and was decorated with jasmine flowers. The red bangles and henna made her hands even more attractive. The crystal stones in the border of the stole over her head glitter in the evening sun rays.

When she reached the pavilion, Ved stood up from his seat and extended his hand towards her, and with a wide smile, she took it without hesitation and sat beside him in front of the holy fire. They were looking at each other full of love and adoration.

The priest begins the rituals and looking at it took me back to that day when I was sitting in front of the holy fire. Everything from that day flashed in front of me and unknowingly my eyes darted toward the person who was with me on that day. Just like that, he was staring back at me like the same thing was going through his mind.

His eyes showed longingness in them and my heart clenched in my chest thinking of the gash I am going to leave behind in his heart.

After the wedding and reception, we said our goodbyes to the newlyweds and left them at the beach house in their privacy.

We got back home late at night and I was completely exhausted. I entered my room with a yawn and dragged my aching legs towards the dressing table. After removing the saree and jewelry, I cleaned my face. I tried to pull open the knot on the back of my blouse but it got stuck. I tried a few more times and failed.

I just wanted to be in my comfy pajamas and hit my head on the pillow. I rubbed my forehead and sighed in irritation. It was already late and I was getting a bad headache. I wanted to get as much as sleep possible before the nightmares gets in the way.

I turned around after hearing a knock and saw Sid entering the room. Seeing me a stunning look crossed his face and he averted his gaze away.

"I am sorry. The door was not locked so I thought I could enter. I just came to give this back." He extended his hand with my phone in it.

"Umm, thank you," I said taking it from him.

"Okay then, goodnight." He said and turned around to leave but stopped when I called his name.

"Umm, can you help me to undo this?" I removed my hair sideways and turned around indicating the knot behind my back.

I could see his reflection in the mirror and he was looking at me. We stared at each other when he took slow steps toward me.

I could feel his body heat behind me and our eyes still not leaving each other. Taking a deep breath he started to unknot the thread. His fingers grazed my back and his eyes traveled back and forth between my face and back. Finally, it came undone revealing my bare back to him.

I could feel my heart hammering inside my chest and I took a gasp of air. I held the blouse tightly in the front with my hands and was about to turn around when suddenly his fingers started to graze on my back.

The patterns he was tracing on my back I knew what it is. A sob choked my throat and my eyes welled up, but I refuse them to fall. I kept my gaze fixed upon his reflection in the mirror. His gaze met mine through the mirror and a pained expression crossed his handsome face.

My lips trembled and the tears fell wetting my cheeks.

This is it, it will always be like this, everything will keep remind me of my past.

I saw him tightly closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. His fingers fisted and when he opened them again I saw the raw anger and pain in them. His eyes again fell on the scars behind my back. The wounds from the glass pieces might have healed but the scars they left behind were still fresh and open.

Taking a deep breath I marched towards the bathroom without looking at him. I could feel his eyes on my back. Before closing the door I turned around and saw him looking at me.

"Can you wait for a while? I have something to say to you?"

He looked surprised. I knew in the past six months I never initiated a conversation between us. It was always him coming to me.

A smile appeared on his face.

"Sure."

Nodding my head I closed the door and rested my back against it.

After changing into my pajamas I stood there hesitating to face him. I was still not sure how to initiate this conversation but this has to do.

Taking a deep breath I twisted the knob and opened the door.

He sits on my bed and doing something with his phone when he heard the door opening he looked up meeting my gaze. Giving him a small smile I walk towards him and sat next to him.

We sat there in awkward silence for a few moments without saying a word.

I ran my fingers through my hair and bit my lips.

"The. Ummm. The wedding was nice."

I said cutting the silence and looking at him.

He smiled widely and genuine happiness showed on his face.

"Yeah. I am really happy to see him happy after all these years. He deserves it, they both."

"Yeah. I wish it will be a happily ever after for them."

I said and my heart felt relaxed thinking about them. They both suffered a lot and I hope now nothing comes between them.

"You could also get that happily ever after you know."

I looked up to see his intense gaze on me.

"They had been through a lot and I know it took so much for Ved to leave behind all his past. And if someone like him could do that I am sure you too can do it. You are really strong Aami and I know it is not easy to do it but I promise I will be there with you in every step you take. I will never let you fall."

He said squeezing my fist with his palm and a reassuring smile on his lips. I stared at him for a moment.

With a weird smile, I took back my hand from his hold. The anxiety was creeping into me and I have to say the things I want before my cowardly mind backs out. Rubbing my sweating palms together I took another deep to keep my drumming heart at ease.

"I know you will be there Sid. You were always there. I was the one who never appreciated that. I always ran away from you without any notice. I knew I was unfair towards you. So today I am doing it the right way. You are right I should move on and leave behind my past and for doing that I need your help."

I said trying to stop my voice from breaking.

A confused look appeared on his face.

"Yeah sure." He smiled.

"Sid. Hmmm. I reapplied for the course that I was about to go to Canada and they said I could join from next semester and I am willing to go."

He looked taken aback but he kept his cool.

"Oh yeah. That. Hmmm. That is good. You should go. How long is the course?"

"Two years."

"Yeah. No big deal. I could visit you there and you could come here for vacation. It's just two years it will pass soon. I could fly there whenever I want to see you. We could FaceTime time at all times. It is not a problem"

He said smiling and trying to make the situation less awkward. He looked everywhere but me trying to avoid the disappointment in his words.

I didn't say anything. I didn't dare to meet his gaze. I could feel his eyes on me and I slowly turned my face to meet his eyes.

He eyed me with suspicion and a frown appeared on his forehead. Then suddenly it dawned upon him.

A humorless scoff left his mouth.

"Oh my god!!! You!!! You are not coming back. Are you?"

With great difficulty, I nodded my head in a no.

"Not for the time being. I may come back when I feel I am ready but I don't think it is anytime soon." I said.

Panting heavily he rose from the bed. He rubbed his face with his palm and ran them through his hair. Keeping his hands on his hips he turned towards me.

"You again are running away from me." He screeched.

With a defeated sigh I got up from the bed.

"No Sid. I am not. I knew it is a lot to take when you dedicated everything to me. I knew I am not being fair to you but I am not in a condition to give you what you deserve. You are a good human being and you deserve all the good in this world but I am not one of those, not right now." I tasted the saltiness of my tears in my mouth.

I don't know how to make him understand what I am feeling. I knew he is going to put a tantrum he will never forgive me for this but I can't tie him to this relationship when I am not sure if I could become normal ever.

"It is not fair to ask you to wait for me. I won't do that to you. As you said I have to move on and for that, I have to do this. This self-loathing fragile girl is not for you and it is not your job to pick up all the broken pieces of me. I can't let you do that. You are too precious to me to put you through that. I need to pick up myself I need to be strong, for you. I want to show you how strong I could become so that I could do what you did for me whenever you need me. But this me is not that. There is a long way ahead of me to reach there. And for me to achieve it I want you to let me go. If wouldn't done that I can never be a normal person."

I didn't realize I moved closer to him and now my fingers are fisting his sherwani and my face is covered in my tears. He looked at me with a painful gaze. The tears welled up in his eyes fell to his cheeks.

"Please Sid, let me go. I can't move on until you let me go. Please." My voice was trembling and my eyes are stinging.

The look on his face was making me weak. If he tells me to not go now, I was sure I am going to oblige. I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other with immense pain in our hearts.

Slowly his hands cupped my face and wiped the tears wetting my cheeks. His hands caressed my cheeks and he rested his forehead on mine. Closing my eyes I leaned into his touch. We stood like that for a few moments.

My eyes opened when I felt his lips on my forehead leaving a lingering kiss. He slowly backed away and held my fists that were still holding tightly on his collar. No, my heart squeezed painfully and my grip on them tightened. With a sad smile he removed my hands from his collar and without looking back he stormed out of the room.

My knees gave up my body and I fell tiredly on the bed when I heard the front door slamming and then a car engine roared to life.

My eyes started its water work again and my arms clenched my chest tightly. I curled into a ball and let out all the frustrations into my pillows.

Oh god!! This is more painful than I thought.