The walk was cold and quiet. I wondered if it was always this quiet between them, or they just couldn't talk about what they really wanted to talk about while I was here. Either way, I envied their ability to exist in such silence so comfortably.

Like just their presence was enough.

Finally, as we reached the river, without a word, Josh took out his camera and began to film while Jaime pulled out her notebook and made her way over to the tree closest to the water. I hesitated for a moment before eventually following her, sitting down close next to her.

"So, what do you write about?" I asked, peeking over. She instantly turned her notebook away from me, giving me a shy grin.

"It's private." I felt my cheeks burn, wondering what she could possibly want to keep from me, like I hadn't given her my entire journal to read. I didn't hide anything from her, so why was she being so secretive with me?

"Will you ever show me?" I asked. She shrugged, smirking back at me as she went back to writing.

Part of me felt like I was intruding on their little piece of life that they had apparently created together, a dynamic that only the two of them knew the rules to, being able to communicate without words.

And how badly I wanted to be a part of it.

Occasionally, I'd see her peek up, subtly looking around until she found Josh again, and then went back to writing with a discrete grin. Every time, it dug the pit in my stomach a little deeper.

"M-maybe.. I can help." I said, moving in closer to her. "I mean, I do write songs so.." She instantly responded with closing her book and pulling it away from me.

"That's okay, I.. I usually work on these things by myself." She said, as kindly as she could manage, but I knew what she really wanted to do was tell me to fuck off. I could feel it.

I had never felt this.. unwanted before.

"Okay." I said, forcing a smile, moving away to give her her space. But then she reached over, placing her hand on my leg without skipping a beat, keeping her eyes down on her notebook as she continued to write. It helped a little.

I watched as Josh slowly made his way around, catching glimpses of the sky, the water, and eventually turning his camera onto Jaime where he lingered a little bit longer than usual. I really had no idea what he was working on either, but I didn't understand what it would have to do with Jaime. Was this just for him?

"What are you working on?" I called out. He instantly lowered his camera, his face dropping as she picked up her head, looking over at him. He shrugged and continued filming the area around us. I turned back to Jaime.

"So, what do you-"

"Jake.." She said, flashing me an annoyed grin. I felt my face get hot. "If you're gonna stay here you have to let us work on what we have to work on, okay?" I bit down on my lip, nodding, now feeling like I was being scolded like a child. What could they possibly be working on that was so serious? She sensed my confusion.

"So, we have to be quiet when Josh is filming." She whispered, leaning in close. "Because his camera picks up on everything, and it's important that he gets the natural sounds." I nodded, staying quiet. She held her stare on me, her face relaxing into a loving gaze as she leaned in, gently placing her hand on my neck as she pulled me into a quick kiss.

"I'm happy you're here though." She said softly. "It's nice that you get to see what we do."

After what felt like hours of just sitting while the two of them worked, Josh finally made his way over to us, his camera hanging around his neck, secretly filming Jaime again. I could feel the anger slowly building within me. When he got close enough, she finally peeked her head up, catching him, flashing him a toothy grin. He smiled back, holding the camera on her for a few more seconds before finally lowering it, and packing it away in his bag.

"You write anything good?" He asked her. She nodded, packing her notebook away into her bag and pushing herself up from the ground, wiping the dirt from her pants and zipping up her coat. I did the same, suspecting they would leave me behind if I wasn't quick to follow them down the path.

It was like I wasn't even here.

I reached over, gently taking her hand and intertwining our fingers. She peeked up at me, giving me a quick smile before looking forward. I just couldn't wait to get home so maybe her and I could be alone again.

"So, when is everything due?" I asked, trying my hardest to somehow be part of their conversation. They stopped, turning to face me.

"We've got about a week." Josh said. "And maybe if we're lucky, we'll hear back before Christmas."

"That'd be a pretty shitty gift if you didn't get in, wouldn't it?" I asked, giggling to myself. They stayed quiet.

"Well, we're not gonna think about that." Josh said plainly, smiling back over at her.

"You never answered me, you know." I said, peeking down at her, trying my best to now change the subject. "About what you wanted for Christmas." She shrugged, smiling back up at me.

"I told you, I don't need anything." She said softly.

"Well, yeah, it's not about if you need anything, what do you want?" She shrugged again, finally leaning her head on my shoulder. That shut me up, a giddy grin escaping my lips.

"I guess I'll figure it out." I sighed, leaning down, kissing the top of her head. Josh instantly turned away, picking up his pace as we got back to the house.

I let him make his way back inside, waiting for the sound of the back door slamming before pulling her to the side.

"So, I was wondering, if you wanted to, maybe.. you and I could have some.. time alone tonight." I asked, feeling my cheeks burn.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked, her smile growing.

"I.. I don't know, I mean.. it doesn't really matter to me, I just.. I wanted to be with you." I could see her face drop, sensing her disappointment, but she tried her hardest to keep her same grin.

"I.. I mean, I.. I could take you out, if that's what you want to do. Whatever you want." I said, now just doing whatever it took for her to say yes. She shook her head, giggling to herself as she pulled me into a quick kiss, gently taking one of my hands.

"I'm kinda tired, so.. we can go lay down if you want." She said, motioning towards my house. I nodded, instantly leading her inside, upstairs, and into my bedroom. She slid her coat off, hanging it on the back of my door, kicking off her shoes and climbed into my bed like it was her own. I couldn't help but smile, taking a minute just to admire her as she cuddled underneath my blankets, eventually turning back to me, patting the spot next to her. I quickly kicked off my shoes and crawled in next to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her up against me. My heart jumped at the sound of her quiet laughter as she cuddled into place, eventually nuzzling her face into my neck, her fingertips gently gliding up and down my arm making my heart beat faster.

These were my favorite moments; when her and I could finally exist in silence, where just my presence was enough to make her happy, though I wished her and I could have a thing we did together the way they did.

Though.. there was one thing we had.

I slowly moved my hand under her shirt, gently rubbing her back before moving my hands towards the bottom, carefully staring to lift it over her head.

"Jake.." She said. I instantly pulled my hands away.

"Yeah?"

"Can we.. I mean, can we.. not do that tonight?" She asked. My stomach dropped.

"Oh, y-yeah, no I'm.. I'm sorry, I-"

"I mean, I.. I know we haven't in a while, I just.."

"Jaime, it's okay, I.. I'm sorry." She moved away, sitting up to face me, her eyes already tired but still just as hypnotizing as ever. I reached up, caressing her face and pulled her into a gentle kiss until I felt her lips curl into a smile.

"Jake.." She sighed. I leaned my forehead against hers, moving in closer.

"Jaime, can I.. talk to you about something?" I asked, feeling my heart start to beat faster. She nodded, holding her stare on me. Maybe now wasn't the best time to bring this up, but I just needed something to feel closer to her. Ever since this morning I could feel her starting to pull away and the last thing I wanted was her thinking I wasn't completely serious about us.

"So.. last night.. something.. changed for me." I said, now avoiding her eyes, reaching over for her hand. She slowly intertwined our fingers, gently rubbing her thumb across my palm.

"What do you mean?" She asked. I shrugged, now painfully aware of just how red my face was.

"I just.. my whole life, I thought I knew what I wanted, but.. things change, and.. sometimes life doesn't work out the way you want, but then.. it leads you to something new, and.. maybe to something even better."

"Jake, what are you saying?" She giggled, moving in closer. I bit down on my lip, finally forcing myself to look back up at her, unable to contain my grin when she laughed like that.

"And.. obviously I don't mean right now, but.. I just want you to know that.."

"Jake, whatever it is, you can tell me." She said, her smile growing.

"Jaime, I.. I want a family." I finally blurted out, much more bluntly than I anticipated. Her eyes got wide as she backed away a little.

"W-what?"

"I mean.. obviously not right now, but.. that's what I want. And I want it with you. One day. I've never wanted that before, but.. after last night with you, I.. I saw it so clearly and.. I was just.. so happy, and I knew with you, that we could be so happy. If.. if that's something you wanted too. I just.. I wanted you to know that.. that's all."

She stayed quiet, almost too quiet. Quiet enough to where it felt like forever since she had said anything at all.

"Please say something." I muttered, feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. She eventually sighed, moving in closer, gently running my fingers through my hair as her eyes slowly scanned my face, tracing every detail until they landed on my lips. I wished she would just kiss me to get this over with.

"Jake, I.. I feel like.. you only feel this way, because.. nothing is happening with the band right now." My stomach dropped.

"T-that's not true." I said softly. She sighed, gently caressing my face again before leaning into a tender kiss. I moved in closer, kissing her back harder when she moved away to stop me.

"Jake, if they called you tomorrow, you're honestly saying that you'd still want to have a kid?" She asked. I hesitated for a moment, picturing her holding our baby in the wings as I played, peeking over at them to see them cheering me on before we took our bows.

And now.. it was all I wanted.

"Yeah." I said. "I would." She held her stare on me until her lips curled into a smile.

"Well, there's plenty of time to think about that." She sighed, moving away, climbing out of bed.

"W-wait, where are you going?" I asked as she went over, grabbing her coat.

"I just.. I haven't been home and I should check on my mom, and-"

"Jaime, I'm sorry if that was too much, I just thought-"

"No, it's okay. T-thank you.. for telling me. I know that.. that wasn't easy for you." She said, leaning into another quick kiss. "And.. it's not that. I promise." I nodded, knowing that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"Okay." I sighed. "Well.. if.. if you want to come back, just-"

"I'll call you." She said, reaching out for me again, gently rubbing her thumb across my cheek. I grabbed onto her jacket, pulling her into another long kiss.

"I love you, Jaime." I said, wanting nothing more than for her to just.. stay.

"I love you, too."

I quickly made my way downstairs and out their backdoor before he could say anything else. A family? He was already thinking about having a family? We had barely been back together for twenty-four hours and he wanted a family with me? I was nowhere near ready for anything like that, not when I haven't even lived. Not when I knew I would just be his cheerleader, taking care of the baby by myself when someone else inevitably called him for another tour.

That wasn't fair to me.

I was more than just someone's girlfriend.

More than just the mother of someone's child.

Just because he was having some sort of.. identity crisis because his dream wasn't working out right now. Well, what about mine?

He spent one night holding a baby and suddenly he thought he was ready to be a father? Don't get me wrong, it was sweet, probably one of the sweetest things someone has ever said to me, but.. I just couldn't think about that right now. Not when I wasn't even sure of my own future, or where I wanted us to go.

If I was even sure I wanted to be an us.

"Jaime?" I heard. My heart jumped. I turned around to see Josh and Sam out back together. I stopped, giving them a subtle wave. Josh shot Sam a look, and started making his way over to me. I stopped, unable to contain my grin as he got closer, flashing me one in return.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Could use some fresh air, I guess." He said simply. "Can I.. walk you home?" I nodded, feeling my heart start beating faster as we slowly made our way across the lawn, no doubt trying to make our time together last as long as possible, and I appreciated every second of it.

When we got to my back door, he stopped, waiting for a moment as if wanting to say something.

"Before you go in.." He said, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a photograph. "I.. I want you to have this." Taking it from him, I could see that it was a photo of me, from today, sitting up against the tree next to the river, strategically cropped where I looked like I was sitting alone.

What I would give to live every day, seeing myself the way he saw me.

"This is beautiful." I sighed, turning it over.

And then my heart jumped.

On the back of the photo it read..

My Favorite View.

"Josh.." I sighed, unable to look at him, because I knew if I looked at him, I wouldn't be able to control what I did next.

"I just.. wanted you to have it." He said softly. "You're so beautiful, Jaime, and.. you deserve to know it."

"I only know it because of you." I sighed, peeking back up at him, pulling him into a tight hug. I instantly felt myself start to melt within his grip as he hugged me back tighter, leaning his head on my shoulder. I held on, waiting for him to let go, but he never did.

"You know I will never let go of you first, Jaime." He giggled to himself. I couldn't help but smile, holding onto him tighter.

"Well, neither will I."

"Then, I guess you're stuck with me, Jaime Adams."

"I guess I am."