Even once I made it to Jade's and explained everything to her over a cup of hangover remedy tea, I still felt terrible. Firstly, I missed Cayden and I regretted everything I said, but secondly, I hated that I missed her because she was still wrong. She shouldn't have taken Zera's side, and she also shouldn't be her friend.

"I don't know... you said they were friends?" Jade asked as we sat on her large brown couch, the view of New York through her high-rise windows was incredibly pretty during the day. I could only imagine it at night.

"Cordial technically," I said, knowing that was the term she used.

Jade sighed through her nose, pursing her lips. "Cordial is far from friends Vi Vi... and I'm saying that to reassure you."

I shook my head, knowing it was still weird. "But she referred to her as a friend at first... and why are they cordial? They're exes."

Jade grabbed my hand gently, "I couldn't tell you why she referred to her as a friend at first, but I can tell you that some people are cordial with their exes," she said. "I think since Sebastian is your only ex and he was so terrible to you, it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea."

I raised my brows. I actually didn't think of it like that... maybe that's why I'm weird about it.

"And if you don't trust her, then that can play a role too," Jade said, sipping her tea.

I frowned, looking down at the soft couch. Do I trust her? "I don't know if I do trust her."

Jade rubbed her thumb over the top of my hand. "There's really not a reason not to Vi Vi. You never mentioned anything weird between you guys unless you count her giving you mixed signals, but after that, she was and still is all in with you."

I knew Cayden never gave me a reason to not trust her. She was incredibly reassuring and while she was still working on communication, she still tried her best to voice where she was at mentally. I think Florida, ironically, helped with our communication since it pushed us so far.

"Yeah," I said, not knowing what else to really say.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm on your side. But since I'm on your side, I think it's in your best interest to try and take a step back and really take a good look at the situation, and maybe try to see Cayden's viewpoint," Jade said, voicing her opinion. "That's how relationships work since you won't always agree, but trying to at least see why the other person isn't agreeing is always beneficial."

I smiled slightly, "When did you become so knowledgeable about relationships?" I said, my tone light and joking.

Jade laughed through her nose. "I'm totally not. I just really want you and Cayden to work out," she admitted. "It seems like she's really good for you, even if she has her moments... which then again, don't we all have those? I mean we aren't all perfect."

I let out a deep sigh, nodding. "We aren't," I said. "I still think I need more time to process this, and maybe go back into it all with fresh feelings and an open mind."

"That sounds like a great idea," Jade said. "It'll also give you time to reflect on it."

Although, I don't want too much time or time in general. I don't know... I just want to be back in Cayden's arms and past all of this. I don't want to lose her over something this small, and it feels like I might. God, I don't want to be her ex. I want to be hers... forever.

"But I also miss her," I said, my voice weak as tears grew in my eyes. "What if we can't get past this? What if she wants to break up?"

Jade shook her head. "Vina I know you guys will get past this, it's really just a small disagreement," she said, but her reassurance didn't necessarily help my rampant thoughts. "Look, you guys haven't really had a fight like this, so it's natural to feel this way, but I don't think Cayden or you would end something over this."

I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out to help stop me from full-on crying. "Yeah..."

"How about we go meet Griffin for lunch?" Jade proposed. "Does he know yet?"

I laughed, but it still sounded terribly weak. "Does he know? I called him on the way to your place. The Uber driver must've thought I was hysteric."

Jade chuckled. "I'm sure Uber drivers get people like that all the time," she said, guiding us off the couch. "Come on, let's call Griffin and see what he's up to."

-

Later that day, we were all seated at Yolei's, which somehow felt nostalgic. I never thought I'd be seated here, thinking about the possibility of Cayden and I breaking up. I really hated this, and I also hated that I didn't exactly know where this left us. She hasn't texted... should I text first? Or should I wait for her?

What if I wait for her and she never does though?

"I still can't believe you guys really had a fight," Griffin said, sipping his latte while Jade sat next to me with a buttery croissant.

I couldn't believe we really fought too... I know I'd wake up tomorrow absolutely sick to my stomach.

"Is it weird that I can't imagine Cayden being defensive? Or like yelling at you?" Griffin asked, laughing slightly as he took another sip of his warm beverage.

Jade pointed at him. "Literally me either! She just doesn't give off that vibe," she said. "Even when I showed up at their condo, Cayden still kept her composure with me, being really respectful even if she seemed like she hated me."

My stomach doubled with knots, thinking about how caring and sweet Cayden always was. I swear there wasn't a bad bone in her body, which is also how I know this fight probably isn't personal. Whatever the reason was, it was probably personal to her, not directed fully at me.

"She actually didn't raise her voice at me," I said, sighing as I went to sip my tea. I felt bad that I raised mine at her while she remained completely soft and gentle with me.

Griffin raised his brows, "Not even once?"

"Not even once," I said, reflecting back on our tense conversation. I had truly never met someone who could stay so calm like that, even during a disagreement.

"God I see what you do for others," Jade said, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Griffin chuckled. "No honestly. I mean, Evan and I haven't had our first fight yet, but I'm hoping he's not one to yell to get his point across," he said. "Especially because I am, so that totally wouldn't mix."

Jade snorted. "No, literally me too."

I pursed my lips to hide my growing smile, "Yeah... I'm sort of the same way. I mean I didn't yell, but my voice did grow in volume."

"Trust me, it happens to the best of us," Griffin said. "Also, Sebastian didn't exactly set great guidelines for fights, so it's realistic that you'd react that way."

Jade raised her brows. "Maybe that's why you threw the drink!" she said, piecing an explanation together.

I couldn't help but be surprised. Maybe... that is why. I hate to think I handled the situation in a Sebastian way, but then again, he was my boyfriend for three years. I hate that I had some of his tendencies.

Griffin shrugged. "I still think I would've thrown the drink, Vin," he said. "But maybe after saying a few more disrespectful things to her because seriously who does she think she is?"

Jade laughed. "No seriously. She was backhanded as fuck to Vina."

I laughed at them, thankful that they took my side and agreed with the way I reacted. I could really only hope that Cayden eventually felt the same way.

After another hour of talking, we all parted ways. I ended up deciding that I'd stay at Jade's tonight since Cayden hadn't reached out and I didn't particularly feel like extending a white flag right now.

Staying at Jade's honestly felt like old times. We ordered food in, and baked cookies while watching Despicable Me. Truly, it was fun and it was exactly what I needed. And at least I wasn't sleeping alone later that night. Being away from Cayden was already hard enough, but I don't think I could really handle being alone right now.

And just as I predicted, the next morning, my stomach felt like it was on a spin cycle. I think I moved past the processing stage and everything that had happened really sunk in. Jade was up already making us breakfast, but I was nowhere near prepared to digest food yet.

However, my heart practically flung out of my chest when my phone buzzed, displaying Cayden's name. I actually wanted to cry with relief when I read the message, thankful that she texted first, and even felt the same way.

Are you ready to talk? I miss you.