Two weeks ago:

Seenit! The Galaxy's Biggest Dumpster Fire

Group: IamNotaXeno

Post: Help!

User: Pleasehelpus12345

Please help me. I don't know where else to turn.

First of all, I'm not a Terran. I'm a Vkkan. I was serving a labor contract aboard a freighter that was interdicted in Kaarst space. The Kaarst claim that the owner owed them fines or interest or something and seized the ship.

They also seized my contract as an "asset".

I'm now working in an ore processing facility and will likely never leave this hellhole. Did I say that right? Hellhole? Anyway, this place is a living hell. People die every single day, and I'm afraid.

They die from accidents. They die from abuse from the guards. They die at the hands of prisoner gangs.

Our lives do not matter. We barely get enough to eat, and the water and air are both contaminated.

Between what I have to pay other prisoners to stay safe and what I have to pay for food, safe water, and what few necessities I allow myself, I am continually falling deeper and deeper into debt.

I will soon hit the debt limit and will receive no further advances. Once that happens, I will be doomed.

Because I have some skill, I have been given access to the computers to compile reports for my supervisor and have found my way to the Terran hypernet looking for some way to fight back.

I'm going to die here, or worse. I may not be able to stop the die part, but I can stop the "worse".

I am not alone. There are others who feel the same.

I hear that you have the ability to turn anything into a weapon. Help us do the same, please.

***

User: Zbabykilkklik

You guys have any sonic sledgehammers or any other sonic crushing devices? If so, I can hook you up!

Attached file: Sonicsledgemod

***

User: iateawormanditwasgud

Do you have any repair facs or other maintenance fabricators, and can you get to them?

Attached file: arclocks Attached file: AK47 Attached file: 7.62x39 Attached file: 12gaAmmomisc Attached file: 12gaPump

The ammo might be tricky, but if you are an ore processing plant, you probably have some chemical capacity maybe?

***

User: PieEater24Seven

Calling User LegitimateBusinessDragon

***

User: HappyTreezR4Smoking

Fuck the Porkies! Fuck all of them! We don't need them here!

***

User: LegitimateBusinessDragon

Hello, HappyTreez :*

You gotta let shit go, man. All that anger will "burn you up" inside :D

***

User: HappyTreezR4Smoking

Fuck you! Your time is coming. If the Feds don't get you, we will!

***

User: LegitimateBusinessDragon

You keep thinking that, Treez.

Pleasehelpus12345, PM me. That means click on my name, and then where it says "private message," click that or if you are online right now, click "chat".

Let's talk.

***

Three days ago:

Location: Kaarst Ore Processing Facility 23

A long line of freighters pulled alongside large freight airlocks taking on refined rare earths and offloading supplies.

The pallets and crates of goods slid into the station on long conveyor belts and through scanners before being offloaded by workers using very familiar-looking forklifts and hand trucks.

Most of them were food and traveled in a long line towards the kitchen storage areas, the simple rations being staged in lines and the premium food for the Kaarst being sent to the refrigerators…

…where a certain very nervous Vkkan and their friends waited.

The Vkkan looked over at an emaciated Flink who was holding a ruggedized tablet.

"Do you think it worked?" they asked.

"I think so," the Flink replied, their eyes darting in all directions, "I mean, the cameras are still on, and nobody has yelled at us for being in here. I'm not a hacker, you know."

"Well, let's just hope the program the Dragons gave us works, or this is going to be the shortest rebellion in history," a ragged-looking Garthra said as they peeked out of a window.

"Quit wastin' time!" A Threen growled as they started looking through the pallets. "Here's one!" he exclaimed as he opened it, revealing a box full of large frozen aquatic arthropod-like creatures.

He lifted out the top row of trays to reveal a large bundle of smuggler's web.

"Ohmygosh..." the Vkkan gasped as the web was pulled aside to reveal dozens of "nail-gun" SMGs.

"I found the others!" another xeno called out. "Look at all of this… stuff!"

"This is real," the Garthra giggled, "Is this real? Are we doing this?"

"Fuck yeah, we're doing this!" the Threen growled as they pulled out a pump-action shotgun.

"Right," the Vkkan said, "The first thing we have to do is get all of this out of here..."

***

Today:

Location: Capital City

"Last night," a uniformed member of Federation Intelligence said, "A riot broke out in one of the Kaarst's major ore processing facilities."

"Poor bastards," Director Gvx-Taa said, "can't really blame them."

"The facility was destroyed."

"What?" Gvx-Taa asked in surprise, "How?"

The intelligence officer pressed a button on the small device in his hand, causing a holographic image to appear behind him of a fallen worker and a very familiar-looking submachine gun lying next to them.

"While the station was destroyed, we were able to capture some signals after the fact by jumping a trawler ahead of the signals from that point in time. It appears that they were armed," the officer smirked, "very well armed. They also outnumbered the guards and trustees by a significant margin."

Gvx-Taa smiled. He hated the Kaarst.

"During the engagement," the officer continued.

The scene changed to reveal six large vessels approaching the station.

"These ships appeared, each containing multiple boarding parties which then entered the facility as well as boarded all vessels awaiting loading."

Gvx-Taa stopped smiling.

"How many ships did they get this time?" he asked, reaching for his bile spittoon.

"Twelve large freighters as well as four hyperspace capable system defense cutters that were docked inside the station. They also struck the remaining defenders from behind, quickly eliminating them. They then looted the station and departed, taking the workers with them except for those who wished to remain. Those were placed in escape pods and jettisoned before the station was destroyed by an emplaced fusion device."

The officer's antennae twitched with rueful amusement.

"The outside force was human, porkies from the accent. They were especially interested in something they called 'those big ass-shrimp'. They were very certain to get all of them as well as any alcoholic beverages. We also believe that they 'salvaged' a fair amount of industrial equipment as well."

"How did they have time to do all of that?" Gvx-Taa demanded. "Where was the fucking Federation?"

"The workers had compromised the administrative area before the attack," the officer replied, "A large incendiary device was detonated as part of their first strike. It killed everyone near the transmitter as well as damaged the primary interface. It also caused the initial alarm to be 'fire' instead of 'riot' and confused the initial emergency response. They went for firefighting gear instead of sprinting for the armory, which the rioters destroyed during the initial confusion. They were already armed, so they just tossed another of those firebombs inside. As a result, very few additional personnel were able to arm themselves, and those who were armed were unable to reach heavier weapons or proper riot gear."

Detailed diagrams of troop movements appeared.

"The rioters had everything planned down to the smallest detail, including the arrival of the enemy ships. They also had some means of bypassing door controls which implies hacker support. We also suspect AI modeling was available."

The intelligence officer fluttered their antennae in laughter.

"The Kaarst believe that the prisoners were too well equipped and well organized to have been acting alone. They believe that they must have had outside help."

"You think?" Gvx-Taa snickered. "Do we know who and how?"

"Seenit, sir," the officer replied, "and it was our old friend LegitimateBusinessDragon. We knew they were talking to someone in Kaarst space and that it was an ore processing facility, but we were unable to determine which one. The Kaarst were notified and advised to increase both signal and cargo security, and Federation assets were moved to the area, but there are a lot of ore processing stations, so it was not possible to station a permanent guard over each one. Three cruisers were patrolling them. I probably needn't tell you that the attack was well-timed."

"Oh, I hate that guy," Gvx-Taa spat. "What about the fusion bomb?"

"Non-Terran," the officer replied. "The implications are obvious."

"Fuck." Gvx-Taa grumbled. "It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?"

He spat a small wad of bile into his spittoon.

"At least we have documentation showing that we warned the Kaarst and the fleet," Gvx-Taa replied. "Thanks for the briefing. I gotta go and waste the rest of the morning on a fucking conference call about this excrement."

He rose.

"Thank the Creator for that sniper," he said. "At least I don't have to actually go over there anymore."

***

The Kaarst councilor fumed with rage as he addressed the Federation Security Council and Gvx-Taa.

"Once again!" they screeched, "Once again, we are the target of an unjustified and brutal attack! First, they attack our shipping with impunity, and now this?!? Is the Federation impotent? Is it incompetent?"

"Actually, it's just tired of your shit," Gvx-Taa replied, causing the Kaarst counselor to scream with rage.

"It's good to see that you are maintaining the traditions established by your predecessor," Veeka, a security council member, snickered, "However, do you actually have anything of substance to add?"

"Actually, we do have a very valuable suggestion for the Kaarst," Gvx-Taa said.

He grinned.

"Stop being a pore. People will kill you less often."

The Kaarst councilor screamed.

"No, seriously," Gvx-Taa said smoothly, "stop being a pore. The Forsaken are very careful about public perception, and you anal pores are universally hated. Not only are you disagreeable to the extreme, and your policies are an outrage, but you are just plain ugly. I mean, I can barely look at you. Nobody likes you, and that's why the Forsaken hits you time and time and time again. They do it because they can…"

Gvx-Taa leaned forward, causing his face to fill the screen.

"...because you are a pore. Right now, you're one of the biggest pores there is. Stop being a pore, and the anus mites will move on to the next one."

The Kaarst started screaming with rage even louder, his face and extremities turning darker.

"Can you do that?" Gvx-Taa asked, "Can you maybe not be a pore?"

More screaming, random threats, and obscenity was the reply.

"I guess not," Gvx-Taa shrugged with a click of his mandibles.

He muted the Kaarst and looked at the security council.

"Are we done here because I actually have things to do?"

"We thank you for your time," Veeka replied, "and your valuable input," she added with a little smile.

Gvx-Taa nodded his insectoid head and terminated the call.