My fear of letting go

Stemmed from my fear of loving you.

How do you not understand

That when you left me behind

You destroyed every chance

That I might've had

At letting myself be loved by any man.

'Cause I was crying on the front porch

And you never even looked back!

How can you just be okay with yourself

After hurting me like that?!

I had to learn the pain of heartbreak at 5 years old

And you're the one responsible.

Doesn't that make you wanna hate yourself?

You've never put any effort into having a relationship with me

And somehow you still find a way to put that blame on me.

I never asked to born in to a parentless family.

It was never my job to make sure I was happy!

Deep down you know that you could've tried

if you really wanted to know me.

I guess that took too much energy.

I'm sorry that I was never enough in your eyes

But if you ever took a second to take a look at my life,

You might realize that it was you that missed out on the prize.

You missed my high school graduation

And it was the only one you ever had the chance to see.

I'm the only one of all your kids that stayed in school long enough to graduate!

You missed my fucking wedding day!

I'm your only daughter!

You should've been there to walk me down the aisle!

Your pride was always bigger than your heart.

No surprise.

It just hurts.

You don't even know my children or any of their birthdays.

When Sylas was 5, he asked me how you died.

I guess he thought he would've met you, if you were still alive.

I should've called you and let you explain that one to him.

But I don't think it's fair to let you get to know him.

'Cause if you ever wanted to,

My phone would've rang.

But it never did.

He's 8 now.

Incase you were wondering.

Franky's 13 and he's my best fucking friend.

It makes me sick to think about not knowing any of my children!

I'll never understand your mentality.

I just wish I could get over it.

Luckily for you I didn't inherit your spite.

With that being said-

To the father that I never had,

I really do wish you the best.

But I hope that you regret not loving me

when you had every chance.