After returning to class, I gave my friends a vague indication that I was holding on to bad news and that we could talk more about it after school. The remaining three hours of classes were excruciating. My mind was in turmoil. I didn’t want to lose my friends; how was I supposed to say goodbye to them? Part of me questioned whether or not I would have been better off having never met them. I felt a confusing mixture of anger and fear at my mother for hiding the truth from me, but I knew that mama would never do something without a good reason.

After class, the three of us met at the school’s dojo to discuss my visit to the principal’s office. The once-mighty Kogakukan judo team was down to only two members, Tai and Nishigawa, a third-year who rarely even bothered to show up, so the dojo was a regular place for the three of us to hang out before and after class.

I sat down on the newly cleaned hardwood floor and gazed at the mirror wall. I looked out of place. Where did my straight blonde hair, big blue eyes, and double eyelids come from? Tai-Tai and Feng had distinctly Japanese dark eyes and round edges, and mama looked the part except for her bright golden eyes. Was my father a foreigner? Was that why my mother never mentioned him? Did that have to do with the secrets she was keeping from me?

My friends arrived and waited patiently for me to speak.

“Tai-Tai… Feng… I met with the principal and my mother when I went to the office. Mama came to school to tell him that… I’m moving overseas next week.” I took a moment to gather myself before finishing my retelling. “He was just as confused and shocked as I was, but my mom was serious. She said we’d be gone for two years, but I’m not sure if that’s true. She said it was an emergency and apologized for being sudden, but I just…”

Seeing the vacant expressions on Tai and Feng in the mirror, my tears began to flow, and I curled up with my knees on my face.

“Whoa, hold on a sec there, Lyn. You can’t be serious. You don’t even know where you’re going? That’s crazy. Besides, next week? There’s no fucking chance that the school will let you go on such short notice. Right?” Tai-Tai said in an attempt to rationalize the situation.

He wasn’t taking me seriously. I wanted to ensure that my friends and I felt some closure.

“You don’t know my mother, Tai. She’s serious. She told me that I need to say goodbye to the two of you.” The tears welled up in my eyes as I recalled the last thing she said to me. When this is all over, I promise you can see them again. I owed my friends an explanation.

“I’m not like you two. I’m different, and it’s not just that I look different. My mom and I aren’t even Japanese! You’ve been to where I live. Did you ever wonder why my mom is the priestess of a two-hundred-year-old temple? I have. Where are we from? When did we move here? Who are my grandparents? Who was my father? I don’t know anything!”

I took a moment to calm down. Tai was just concerned for me, and it looked like Feng was getting frightened. I held up a hand to indicate that I had more to say.

“She’s been keeping something secret from me my entire life. Something big. I know it. This is my chance to learn more about my past and my family. It’s just… I’m going to…” I had reached my limit, and my voice began to break up. “To miss you guys.” I bit my lower lip and buried my head back into my knees as quiet sobs, and wretched breaths came out of me.

The sound of my sniffles punctuated a moment of awkward silence. Feng took advantage of the moment to embrace me from behind.

“Waaaahhh, Lyn, please don’t go! I love you, Lyn.”

Feng could be unabashedly honest in a way that I could only admire. As unsophisticated as her gesture was, considering how much drool and snot was dripping on my shirt, it was exactly what I needed. I loved my friends, and they wanted me to stay. They would wait for me to return and welcome me back when I did. I twisted around to face Feng and gestured for Tai to come closer. Embracing the two in a group hug, I put on my best smile.

“I love you guys too. Don’t go getting into too much trouble without me.” I said in a stern tone.

“Screw that, Lyn. In two years, I’ll be captain of a new and improved judo club.” Tai put on a cocky grin and swiped his thumb under his nose. “If you play your cards right, I’ll even save you a spot for when you come back.”

“Lyn, umm…” Feng grabbed my head and kissed me on my cheek. “Lyn, you idiot! That's not what I meant.” She said in an entirely uncharacteristically confident tone.

Putting a hand on my cheek and blushing, I gave her an ear-to-ear smile. “Who are you, and what did you do with Feng?” I said before the three of us broke into laughter.

How the hell am I supposed to leave without knocking Tai down a peg, and did Feng just ask me out? -- I would have to leave these questions unanswered. It was time to go.

I took a few steps back from my friends and posed confidently.

“I’m heading out. Seeya guys!” I yelled with forced enthusiasm as I turned around to run home.