《My Orange Glove》Wedding
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By the time the Grand Elder had finished the Sect funds, and some of his own money for hefty tips, 19 more disciples had received their cloud burgers and painless Ascensions to the peak of Silver Realm. However it was only early in the afternoon.
"Go and try to find a spot at the Sword Monument. I'll stay here for a while." the Sword Elder ordered while at glance at his new personal disciple.
Teaching a 6-years-old would be a challenge, but he picked this burden himself. And it seemed the mysterious Divine Cook had also agreed.
Now, it was the time to pay back the favor. A minute later, a young man appeared in the room, and nodded calmly while taking a seat. Still without a sign of movement, which his advanced Sword skills were trained to detect.
"I guess you wanted to meet me?" the blonde man asked while taking out a bottle of wine and drinking directly. The faint smell of wine was also that of the priceless Paramita Wine he had the pleasure to enjoy.
"I am Sword Immortal Ming Lu. And you must be the Divine Cook. Why flip burgers, with that Heart of Sword?" the Grand Elder wondered in a curious voice.
"What else to do with mountains of beast meat? Might as well feed some poor people." the Divine Cook answered with a wry tone, while scratching his cheek.
"Like I thought. This place is not a restaurant at all." the Sword Immortal answered in a resigned tone.
"It looks like a restaurant, and it serves meals as well. It even has a price tag for the menus." the young cook said with a small shrug.
"You bestow providence on certain people. Why my group though?" the Sword Elder enquired in a suspicious tone.
"There is a small war coming. I guess they will call it the Mercy War, once it is over. And even if the outcome is already decided, the war has to be fought. This place recruits soldiers for this war." the Divine Cook explained in a careless tone, then took out a white metal necklace and threw it on the table.
The Sword Elder didn't need to touch the necklace. He had seen an identical one worn by his Sword Ancestor. 'Insurance, against the Mercy Seat', the ancient Master called it, with a sad voice.
"When? The Capital has hundreds of Bronze Realm..." he asked in a worried voice, and paled a little, despite his nigh-perfect control over his body.
"A few decades, at most. Those under compulsion by the Mercy Seat have to die, but who will take their place in the new order? I don't intend to stay in this place after the war." Pef mused thoughtfully, and drank more wine.
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The Sword Immortal sighed and leaned back, slowly digesting the news. "I guess that Noble is already dead?" he asked to make sure, while glancing at the merciless necklace.
"I even gifted him a bottle of Paramita Wine. What else can I do, when people fail to recognize Mount Tai?" Pef asked rhetorically, then also leaned back to peek at his guest a bit curious.
"I was just outside, and didn't feel a single shockwave. When the Sword Ancestor fought in the last war, half of the Middle Heavens perished. Those that lived and rose to Bronze Realm became Nobles." the Sword Elder said in a wary voice.
"Exactly. And since the War in Heavens, everyone who reached Tier 10 had to be invested as a Noble by the Mercy Seat. Living flesh puppets, in other words." Pef continued with a calm voice, then sipped more wine.
Sadly, Pef's Tier 10 cultivation could not be increased by this wine, only some further Dao insights. It helped, but far too little, to be of use in a reasonable timeframe. He didn't want to waste thousands of Chaos Cycles just brewing wine and slowly cultivating like the locals. And he also felt that time would run out much sooner anyways.
"Two decades...there's not enough time to raise an army." the Sword Immortal said in a sad tone.
"There are already enough foot soldiers prepared for war. Trillions at the minimum. However, decent leaders are harder to find. Thus, my restaurant." Pef explained with a tiny smile.
"Makes sense. But what about the Bronze Nobles?" the Elder asked in a more cautious tone.
"What about them? One or one thousand, it's the same for me. You still won't feel any shockwaves." Pef answered with a careless shrug, and sipped more wine.
'It won't be quite that easy, Soldier. You only have your 1st Star in Tier 10.' the glove warned him, before the user became too confident.
'So we go and hunt more Bronze beasts. There are so few clients now that I can delegate cooking to my Avatars.' Pef answered still too confident.
"The Sword Ancestor will need to meet you, Divine Cook. I also expect he will need proof." The Sword Immortal said with a final glance at the white necklace.
"I don't have the Sword Soul, if that's what you expect, Immortal Ming. I am only a cook, after all." Pef answered with an easy voice, then vanished without moving once more.
"Only a cook?" the old man grumbled as he left the Celestial Restaurant.
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Not even his Sword Ancestor could kill a Noble without demolishing the nearby provinces, much less do it perfectly hidden.
As he glanced at the repaired walls of the Cloud City, the Grand Elder sighed inward. Did the cook allow a bit of damage just to confuse people about his real strength? Would a third-rate sect knowingly attack a Bronze Realm powerhouse? There was a maze of deceptions about this place, that confused even himself. Give him a sword in hand and a clear enemy, and things were simple. Why all this theatre?
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Pef returned to his Blue Realm laboratory, and continued analyzing and deciphering the countless artifacts and treasures captured from the previous Noble. So many cultivation methods, Formation manuals and almost a trillion high-grade crystals, gave him some notion of the real wealth an old powerhouse could amass over a million Chaos Cycles, simply by robbing and stealing what he couldn't buy.
With a glance, he separated the herbs and pills for Rejin to work with, and the precious metals, gems and cores for Lin. Even if they failed a million times, they would still obtain Tier 9 simply by continuous high-level crafting.
He took out a wooden fish, and examined it curious. It was empty inside, and possibly used like bell.
'Don't try it, Soldier! At least not in here. If you collapse this realm, everyone inside might also die.' the glove urged him before he could ring the wooden fish-shaped bell.
With a disgusted scowl, Pef threw the fish away, coincidentally at the head of the Silent Monk meditating under his Bamboo Tree.
It felt to him like something a monk might use, maybe after feeding a tiger his own flesh. Anyways, the World Tree would know how to use it properly.
He took the horn spear used by the Noble and tried to analyze it as well, only to find it was still a higher realm. Again, something from the Upper Heavens Pef could only stare at.
'Heart Ruler, I guess this will be your next fusion, if we ever manage it.' he told his sword as he attempted to damage the horn with its dimensional edge, and failed miserably. No wonder the strange horn spear could pierce even a Tier 9 Godbeast.
'Getting stronger is nice. We might need the strength if the Taotie also Ascends.' the Heart Ruler said in agreement, and mild warning.
'We do need a stronger badger though. Tier 9 Avatars would deplete very fast when fighting a Tier 10.' Pef countered, recalling the original Spirit Taotie that had died fighting the Dragon Emperor.
He then triggered his Recall and brought his disciple Wong in the laboratory. "Master!"
"It took me a decade to study the Formation Dao in the Unreal River. You have two decades. These will keep you going." Pef demanded while placing a storage ring in his disciple's hands, containing a million high-grade crystals to consume for fast qi restoration, a mind crystal with Pef's Formations, twenty normal Silver Burgers and a bottle of Paramita Wine.
"Shouldn't I learn cooking first?" Wong pleaded with a white-pale face. Everyone sane was scared of the Unreal, and even a Noble had died inside.
"If you can make Copper Burgers without an Immortal Flame and the Formation Mastery, I will become your disciple instead. Can you?" Pef muttered as he formed a Violet portal and slapped Wong into it, right at Kalima's feet.
"Zara." he asked next.
"Holy Son. You finally want my body?" the female disciple asked in a coy voice, while leaning seductively forward to present her plump white rabbits.
Pef shrugged. She did offer herself, and a man had to respect his promises.
"Yes, sure. But have your Avatars work on this horn. The thing struck right through the poor White Tiger." he demanded while removing his clothes to present his own horn forward.
"Errr. Right here?" Lady Zara asked hesitantly, as she formed a few Avatars to bathe the impervious horn with Yin flames.
"Yes. Now kneel and open wide." Pef continued with a deadpan voice, then entered deeply into the inviting depths.
"Gluck, gluck!" the woman said with the few breaths left, as the monster entered her throat .
"Now repeat after me: I take this man, Pef Xi, to be my beloved husband, in this life and every other. May death never part us!" Pef asked
in a serious voice, while also mind-fucking his new wife into the ninth cloud.
"I, gluck!..take, gluck!..." Zara struggled to comply, even as her consciousness slightly drifted into dreamland.
'And that's a proper Immortal wedding!' Pef exulted inward.
Inside his dantian, the Icefire arose as well, and stared at its mortal enemy for eons, the Nether Lotus. 'Come here little flower, let me pollinate you!'
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