That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Portal 2.5 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and beheld a dark ritual

I entered the chamber where all the spooky shit was happening, giving a nod of approval to the skull lanterns casting purple flames in the corners. The chamber was big, square, and made of stone, with an aesthetic like a goth chick's root cellar.

A glowing glyph was in the center of the room, surrounding a flat sacrificial altar. A chalice of a red, viscous liquid sat atop it, a stemmed, conical glass with some alchemical powder dusting the rim. Bonbon and Wanda were off to one side of the room, busy fighting off a swarm of cultists. The cultists seemed varying levels of uneasy, brandishing their sacrificial daggers, torches, and in one case, a dustpan.

Wanda ducked the swing of a dagger with a twist, turning her back on her attacker before mule-kicking him in the family jewels. He crumpled with a wheezing groan, and she hopped backwards onto his shoulders. One Cultist stood a good foot higher than the others, clearly some kind of [Dire Cultist] or [Elite Cultist], or perhaps just two smaller cultists in a robe. He laughed with a deep baritone as he assaulted Bonbon with two knives. His frenzied swings pushed her back into a corner, as she used pan and apron to deflect strike after strike.

Wanda used the unfortunate cultist beneath her as a springboard, launching herself towards the [Elite Cultist]. She landed with an iconic inarticulate "Shaaaa!" sound, latching onto his shoulders from behind and wrapping her legs around his chest. He grunted as her tackle took him off balance, then his grunting intensified as she opened her mouth wide and sank her fangs into his neck.

Bonbon seized on the opportunity, slamming him over the head with a leaping, two-handed overhead strike. A metal-on-mental clang rang out as his skull probably fractured or exploded, and the behemoth dropped to his knees.

I nodded to myself, appreciative of the hot girl fight scene, but I had more important things to consider, like whatever was happening on the other side of the room.

Around the altar, there were between 6 and 10 other cultists, led by one who was clearly the leader, because he had a cool ram's skull on his head and a pendant of some kind of demon girl or something.

He was chanting in a language that sounded even more made-up and bullshit than the already bullshit Isekai-world language. Thank goodness. That confirmed to me that he was in the middle of some eldritch ritual, and that I hadn't just accidentally interrupted a pep rally or something.

"U'ee u-ia-ia! Tn'ng tna'ng, w'la w'la Bhn'bang!" he chanted, spreading his arms wide. The other cultists in the circle mirrored him, repeating his chant. I stood and watched them pensively.

I still couldn't understand what, exactly, they were trying to do. I'd even picked up [Cultist Basics] using my [Instantly Learn Skill], but that hadn't given me any insight into their rites. All gaining the skill had done was make me realize how cool this ritual was. I shook my head.

Still, coolness aside, I was conflicted. If this was a cool empowerment ritual, then I should wait till the end, but if they were summoning something, it would be better to interrupt it as soon as possible. I scratched my cheek as I watched them and casually beheaded a cultist who had split off from fighting my harem to come push his luck with me.

I glanced over at the fighting. There were a few cultists looking my way. I gently kicked the beheaded mook's head back to them in case they wanted it back, but they instantly averted their eyes, looking back at Wanda and Bonbon.

Wanda ducked a swing of the dustpan and stabbed her hand forward, piercing her claws through her assailant's chest, clutching his beating heart in her fist. She dropped the heart, but stepped forward instead of removing her arm, shoving the unfortunate cultist back a few steps. She seized another cultist's arm, then pulled, putting one foot on the heartbroken man's waist before heaving back and hauling the second cultist's arm back through the hole in his friend's chest. She gave one last yank and let go, twisting her body at the last second to send both cultists sprawling to the ground in a tangle of bloody limbs.

Bonbon dodged to the side as another cultist swung his knife down vertically. She reached behind her and pulled out a spatula, jamming it under the cultist's foot.

"[Perfect Flip]!" she shouted, activating her Culinary Arte as she lifted. Like a robe-wearing pancake, the cultist perfectly flipped 180 degrees, falling directly onto his head. Bonbon kicked him in the side of the head, rendering him unconscious before turning and clenching her fist. The glyph on the back of her hand began to glow as she cast a spell.

"[Fistful of Spice]!" She lifted her fist and opened her palm, blowing across it to send a blinding blend of [Paprika], [Chipotle] and [Naga Jolokia] powders billowing out into the cultist's faces. They clutched at their eyes and screamed as she grabbed her frying pan, charging the nearest one.

I felt a surge of what was probably pride, until I realized that I'd actually just gained EXP. ... huh? I checked my status using [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)]

Name: Hiro ♥ Protagonist

Level: 10

EXP: 3750/5000

Skill Points: 74537

Gold Stars: 53

Gacha Coins: 1,000,000,099

HP: 69425/69425

MP: 1337/1337

SP: 9999/9999

FP: 1/1

Attributes:

Stranth: 100000

Dexterity: 100000

Swoleness: 100000

Magic: 100000

Karma: 645

Mojo:99999

Luck: -99999

Skills:

[Jumping Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Hopmeister] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Windrunner] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Cliffwalker] [Crawling Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Crawldad] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Godly Chef] [Divine Heavenly Chef] [Punching Invulnerability] [Slashing Invulnerability] [Projectiles Invulnerability] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Crushing Invulnerability] [Toe-stubbing Invulnerability] [Burning Invulnerability] [Lightning Invulnerability] [Fish Invulnerability] [Shadow Invulnerability] [Surprise Invulnerability] [Light Invulnerability] [Heavy Invulnerability] [Greater Invulnerability] [Wind Invulnerability] [Water Invulnerability] [Earth Invulnerability] [Sleep Invulnerability] [Pain Invulnerability] [Silence Invulnerability] [Curse Invulnerability] [Emotional Damage Invulnerability] [Seduction Invulnerability] [Wisdom Invulnerability] [Shame Invulnerability] [Heat Invulnerability] [Cold Invulnerability] [Itching Invulnerability] [Discomfort Invulnerability] [Alcohol Invulnerability] [Drug Invulnerability] [Spicy Invulnerability] [Cringe Invulnerability] [Absolute Invulnerability] [Fluff Resistance - Lvl 1] [Mist Resistance - Lvl 2] [Second Wind] [Plot Armor] [Indomitable Will] [Eye Contact Resistance - Lvl 3] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 1] [Greater Maneuverability] [Swooce Supremacy] [3D Maneuvering] [4D Maneuvering] [Noclip] [Greater Fisticuffs] [Fisticuffs Supremacy] [Kill Anything In A Single Punch] [Elemental Punches] [Flaming Energy Ball] [Dark Attack Basics] [Stunning Blow] [Poisoning Blow] [Silencing Blow] [Surprising Blow] [Fisherman's Fist] [Cursing Blow] [Stunning Slash] [Poisoning Slash] [Silencing Slash] [Surprising Slash] [Fisherman's Blade] [Cursing Slash] [Sexpert] [Ultra Fabio] [Expert Swordsman] [Dual-Wielding] [Triple-Wielding] [Sword Saint] [Energy Blade] [Expert Spearsman] [Spear Extension (All natural supplement)] [Triple Thrust] [Expert Hammersman] [Ultra Crush] [Whirlwind Smash] [Expert Archer] [Multishot] [Homing Shot] [Penetrating Shot] [Ricochet Shot] [Curving Shot] [Splitting Shot] [Returning Shot] [Explosive Shot] [Dual-Wielding (Bows)] [Instant Reload] [Tennis Master] [Ultra Serve] [Devil Serve] [Hell Rally] [Dakimakura Supremacy] [Dakimakura Expert] [Knife Supremacy] [Bar Fighting Supremacy] [Brawler] [Drunken Master] [Expert Staffsman] [Spinny Boi] [Crushing Staff] [Helicopter Staff] [Acrobatic Flipwaltz] [Fishing Supremacy] [King Angler] [Snap Cast] [Casting Supremacy] [Casting King] [Handsome - Lvl 10] [Perfect Hair] [Furrow Browsics - Lvl 2] [Imbue Weapon] [Enhance Weapon] [Create Weapon] [Repair Weapon] [Sell Weapon] [Clapping Mastery - Lvl 1] [Photographer Mastery - Lvl 1] [Montage Mastery - Lvl 4] [Woodworking Basics - Lvl 3] [Drafting Mastery - Lvl 2] [Bureaucracy Supremacy - Lvl 1] [Conga Line Basics - Level 1] [Trick or Treat Room] [Time Slow] [Time Stop] [Win Almost Everything But Not Everything] [Win Everything Else] [Speak With Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Speak with Monsters] [Speak with Idiots] [Speak with Walls] [Greater Speaking] [Detective Basics - Lvl 3] [Peer Pressure Mastery - Lvl 1] [Substitute Teacher Basics - Lvl 1] [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] [Greater Vore] [Shield Supremacy] [Shield Saint] [Dual Wielding (Shields)] [Dual Welding] [Arch Welding] [Godly Welding] [Instantly Learn Skill] [Regeneration] [Super Regeneration] [Ultra Regeneration] [Max Regeneration] [Ultra Max Regeneration] [Clown Resistance] [Smoke Ring Basics - Lvl 2] [Steal] [Burgle] [Purloin] [Stealth] [Greater Stealth] [Sneak King] [Invisibility] [Demon Lord - Lvl 10] [Hero - Lvl 10] [Sidekick - Lvl 10] [Evil Vizier - Lvl 10] [Greater Stranth] [All Natty] [Greater Dexterity] [Skanda] [Greater Swoleness] [Bloatlord] [Greater Magic Casting] [Greater Magic Perception] [Greater Magic Intuition] [Greater Magic Licensing] [Greater Magic Conscription] [Parliamentary Recess] [Height of Occultism] [Greater Flame Magic] [Heat Miser] [Greater Wind Magic] [Tornadist] [Greater Ice Magic] [Snow Miser] [Greater Earth Magic] [Rockhaver] [Greater Light Magic] [Dayman] [Greater Dark Magic] [Nightman] [Greater Surprise Magic] [Magic Magician] [Greater Dimensional Magic] [Space Folder] [Greater Death Magic] [Overlord] [Lesser Flavor Magic] [Jellymancy] [Psionics] [Greater ESPer] [Mind Bullets] [Mind Rockets] [Telekinetic] [Telepathetic] [Teleportation (Minor)] [Instant Transmission] [Greater Mojo] [Funklord] [Cultist Basics] [Bargain Hunter] [Dealsmith] [Hagglemeister] [Greater Hp Regeneration] [Automatic Resurrection] [Lesser MP Regeneration][Greater SP Regeneration] [Greater FP Regeneration] [Dragon Power] [Dragon Breath] [Dragon Wings] [Greater Fursona: Dragon] [Ninja] [Divine Blessing] [Multitask Basics - Lvl 1] [Mental Dictionary] [Mental Rolodex] [Mental Thesaurus] [Mental Encyclopedia] [Mental Almanac] [Mental Coloring Book] [Mental Powerpoint] [Mental Sundial] [Brain Cell Phone] [Inter-dimensional Cell Phone] [Demon Eye] [Evil Eye: Curse] [Evil Eye: Killing] [Evil Eye: Poison] [Evil Eye: Itching] [Evil Eye: Surprise] [Evil Eye: Silence] [Evil Eye: Cringe] [Evil Eye: Laser Beams] [Binocular Vision] [Telescopic Vision] [X-Ray Vision] [Heat Vision] [Clairvoyance] [Periscope Vision] [Supervision] [Expert Hearing] [Double-Ear] [Long-Range Hearing] [Expert Smelling] [Sniff Supremacy] [Expert Taste] [6 Foot Tongue] [Skeleton Detection] [Manifest Wings] [Manifest Horns] [Manifest Extra Arms] [Shapeshifter] [Trainer] [Personal Trainer] [Slave Owner] [Slave Friend] [Monster Tamer] [Monster Friend] [Monster King] [EXP Share] [Monster] [Drop Collection Basics] [Instant Change (Outfit)] [Greater Color Coordination] [Wrath] [Pride] [Lust] [Greed] [Envy] [Gluttony] [Sloth] [Chastity] [Temperance] [Charity] [Diligence] [Kindness] [Patience] [Humility] [Defy Gods] [Defy Parking Ticket] [Flying] [Greed is Good] [Greater Monologue] [Monologue Supremacy] [Instant Monologue]

Titles:

[Emperor] [Ollie King] [Jump King] [Climb King] [Running King] [Crawling King] [Mystery Chef] [Angler King] [Ultra Mage] [Seven Deadly Sins Master] [Seven Heavenly Virtues Master] [Super Mage] [Great Warrior] [Demon Lord] [Hero] [Champion of the Sun] [Karate Master] [Evil Vizier] [Good Vizier] [Sword Saint] [Spear Saint] [Shield Saint] [Hammer Saint] [Bow Saint] [Fashion Police] [Monster Trainer] [Monster] [Tennis Master] [Furry] [Dragon Slayer] [Dragon] [Coward] [Bully] [Cad] [Thief] [Staff Saint] [Expert Driver] [Ace Pilot] [Horseman] [Heretic] [Anti-Pope] [Pope] [Double Jesus] [Photographer] [ESPer King] [Inventor] [Gourmand] [Entrepreneur] [Ultrapreneur] [Enchanter] [Drunkard] [Small Business Owner] [Cell Phonetrix] [Sk8r Boy] [Ultra Sk8r Boy] [World Savior] [God's Favorite] [Skeleton Killer] [Slaver] [Slave Tycoon] [Emancipator] [Great Emancipator] [Human Killer] [Artes Master] [Bronze Rank Adventurer] [Slime Slayer] [Underdog]

Sword Artes:

[Double Slash] [Triple Slash] [One Thousand Slashes of Light] [One Thousand Slashes of Darkness] [Clothes-Cutting Slash] [Clothes-Cutting Slash (PG-13)] [Space Trimmer] [That one move where you cut something and then sheathe your sword and it doesn't look like you cut it but you really did and you like turn around and then it falls in half] [Anti-Slime Sword] [Adaptive Strike]

Culinary Artes:

[Summon Egg] [Precision Serving] [Acquire Taste] [Smell-o-vision] [Convert Food: Delicious] [Salvage Abomination]

Steak Artes:

[Double Grilling]

Cell Phone Artes:

[Minesweeper][Internet Browser][Calculator][Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2][Sahara Prime][Monster Catching] [Camera] [Dating App] [Future Diary] [Cell Phone Sword] [Status HUD] [FoodHut] [Infinite Wallet] [UPC Scanner] [Pocket Storage] [Affinity Chart] [Headphone Jack] [Infinite Battery] [Solitaire] [Snake]

Slave Artes:

[Boost Attributes (Physical)] [Skill Synergy: Dragon Forme] [Skill Synergy: Pro Skater Forme] [DLC Costume Shop] [Gladiator Spirit]

Board Artes:

[Kickflip Slash] [Eternal Grind] [Biggie Head Mode] [Double Ollie] [Summon Board] [Grind on Air] [Triple Ollie] [Ultimate Board Arte: Kickflip]

Musical Artes:

[Play Any Instrument] [Ballad of Bravery] [Sonata of Stranth] [Ditty of Dexterity] [Serenade of Swoleness] [Karmic Klezmer] [Melody of Magic] [Musical Mojo] [Lullaby of Luck]

Magic Artes:

[Spell Conversion: Casting Time] [Spell Conversion: Duration] [Spell Conversion: Effect] [Spell Conversion: Distance] [Spell Conversion: Delay] [Spell Conversion: Mana Cost] [Spell Conversion: Target] [Flaming Spell] [Frostbitten Spell] [Radiant Spell] [Gloomy Spell] [Electric Spell] [Rocky Spell] [Wet Spell] [Draconic Might: Spell] [Funny Spell] [Piscine Spell] [Toxic Spell] [Spell Blade] [Double Cast] [Triple Cast] [Endless Font of Magic] [Spell Improvement] [Blood for Mana] [Research Spell] [Ultimate Magic Arte: Quadruple Cast]

Arte Artes:

[Use Two Artes at Once] [Meta Arte: Fire] [Meta Arte: Ice] [Meta Arte: Light] [Meta Arte: Darkness] [Meta Arte: Earth] [Meta Arte: Lightning] [Meta Arte: Air] [Meta Arte: Water] [Meta Arte: Surprise] [Meta Arte: Clown] [Meta Arte: Fish] [Arte Learning] [Artes Catalogue (Recursive)] [Recursive Arte] [Repeat Arte] [Copy Arte] [AI Generated Artes] [Ultimate Arte Arte: Unlimited Arte Works]

Jellymancy Artes:

[Jelly Splash]

Spells:

[Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10] [Thunder Grind - Lvl 10] [Frost Tycoon - Lvl 10] [Malamphosicet's Greater Illusion of 1000 Blades: Sword Art: Spell Sword: Magic Slash: "The Dusk Calls Me At Last, Onwards (Requiem) - Lvl 10] [Wind - Lvl 10] [Warp Reality] [Dimension Box] [Greatest Healing - Lvl 10] [Resurrection - Lvl 10] [Lightning Spear - Lvl 10] [Dark Blast - Lvl 10] [Dark Lash - Lvl 1] [Self-Destruct - Lvl 10] [Earthquake - Lvl 10] [Explosion - Lvl 10] [Dispel Curse] [Add Curse] [Unslave] [Charm Person] [Mind Lash] [Spirit Bomb] [Deus Ex Machina] [Meteor Storm] [Biscuit Hammer] [Cloudkill] [Summon Dakimakura] [Light] [Make Cube] [Create Shadow Clone No Bunshin] [Force Cage] [Create Food] [Bestow Flavor: Spicy] [Bestow Flavor: Umami] [Cloud of Cinnamon] [Create Scrumptious Reagent] [Mimic]

DLC Perks:

[Vending Machine] [Gacha Emperor] [Cosmetic Pack 1] [Cosmetic Pack 2] [Battle Pass (Fall 2069)] [Alternate Costume: Clown] [Alternate Costume: Heavenly King] [Alternate Costume: Sexy Maid] [Doggirl Companion] [Companion Costume: Sexy Cowgirl] [Companion Costume: Sexy Maid] [Companion Costume: Sexy Shinobi] ]Companion Costume: Sexy Nun] [Companion Costume: Sexy Actuary] [Companion Costume: Sexy Hazmat Suit] [EXP Boost] [Warp Reality]

Whoah! My EXP-sharing skill, whichever it was, worked both ways?! In that case... I could gain levels just by having other people do the fighting for me! I clenched my fist victoriously. Maybe I had a bit of a cheat skill after all! I'd have to see about getting more people into my [Party], if this was the kind of thing I could do with it!

I glanced back at the [Head Cultist], who had gotten to the charades portion of his forbidden ritual. I still wasn't sure what kind of ritual it was, although based on his current motions, I think one of the words rhymed with 'bored'. Or maybe tired. Or maybe drunk. One of us wasn't very good at charades, and it was probably him.

I looked back to Wanda and Bonbon. The doors burst open behind them, and suddenly a few dozen cultists ran out to join the fray. It looked like they might be in trouble, but... did I have time to help them? If this did turn out to be some kind of summoning, then I didn't have time to waste fighting random mooks! I had to stop it!

Wanda ducked one knife-swing before taking another across the back. She winced slightly before turning and slicing her attacker's throat open with a swipe of her claws. Five more cultists ran up on her, and she spun to force them off with a wild set of swipes. The bodies of the cultists pressed in around her, and one grabbed her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Wanda reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt. She lifted it while ducking down, sliding down through the cultist's grip and wrapping the fabric around his arms before using him as a human shield. Several cultist daggers and one large book stabbed into his back before Wanda lifted her foot and kicked him into his assailants. Instantly, four more cultists took their place. Wanda sighed.

Bonbon was in trouble as well (TL Note: in a pinch means ピンチ)! Six cultists had her backed into a corner and she was using [Triple Chop] to deflect their attacks, her hand leaving multiple after-images behind as she swung.

What should I do? I clenched my teeth and wrung the edge of my shirt with worry. I stared at my harem-members and came to a sudden realization. It didn't matter what kind of ritual the Lead Cultist was working on. I was a fool if I was really just going to sit here and maybe let him complete it, just in case it was a power-up! I had to do the responsible thing, the only correct thing.

Even if he was summoning something, I had to make sure that he completed the ritual. Because then, I could kill whatever he summoned! Whatever it was, it'd probably be worth tons of EXP! With that in mind...

I pulled out my sword and board and grinned a smile. It was time to kill some mooks.