《Artist's Nightmare》Insane or not?
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My life had already prepared many shocking events for me, which would most likely drive a normal person insane. This raises a question. Am I simply so different, that my mind was capable of understanding and accepting even such a bizarre script that was my life, or was I normal, but driven insane by everything that happened? Would I even know if I was insane? No, most likely not.
I decided not to pay my hallucinations any attention. After all, what good would it do? I simply walked up to White and apologized. It wouldn't fix anything, but sitting around and doing nothing would be even worse.
"No! Eddie, this wasn't your fault," she told me through her tears.
"She's lying," the dark character whispered into my ear. Nobody else could see him. If they did, I'm pretty sure they'd react differently.
"She's right, Eddie. You did your best to save us. And you succeeded. This was something neither of us expected," Beast tried to confirm what White told me.
"Succeeded? Look at that bullshit. You and I both know this was a gigantic failure!" As much as I tried, I could simply no longer ignore the annoying illusion that was circling around me like a vulture.
"I... need to be alone for a while," I told the deaths.
"Understandable. But Eddie," Soul grabbed my shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. We can take a break to grieve, but Ifrit has to be stopped here and now. Whatever it takes. Slam your heart shut. We're soldiers now."
"Yeah, whatever it takes," I repeated his words and walked away into a nearby room where I'd have some time just for myself. As I feared, however, the Shade followed me.
"They are insulting you behind your back, you know that, right? Who knows, maybe they are even planning to kill you and use the Divine Creativity properly. You killed their friend, so they want revenge. Want me to go and see if that's the case?" it spoke directly to me.
"No! What the hell are you?! Where did you come from?"
"Oh, so cold. You don't even recognize yourself?"
"I do. And I know you aren't me!"
"And that is where you are wrong, my friend! I was you for a veeery long time. I remember that day when you decided to jump. Why not do it again? This building seems very fitting. You're gonna die one way or another."
"No! The world would end if I did it," I desperately tried to defend myself.
"Hahaha! You really think so? Dude, you're hilarious! The world is ending BECAUSE you're here. If you were dead, Ifrit would take your power and fix the world. Nobody else would have to die. Don't you understand? Everyone else would be safer if you were dead!"
My strength was running out. Whatever this creature was, it spoke words I'd been hearing for years. But there's a difference between a screaming thought and a shouting voice. This was far more real, and far scarier. My legs crumbled to the ground. I sat down, pushing the knees to my chest and digging my face deep into them. Everything felt unreal. As if I was suddenly living in a world full of fog, unable to see anything past this single room.
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"I'm sorry, Eddie." White's voice coming from the doorway made me lift my head again. Until now, I didn't even notice that I'd been crying.
"Sorry? Why should you be sorry? It is my fault that he died."
"Eddie, stop! You managed to use your Divine Creativity. That is good. But you can't expect yourself to immediately be able to react to everything. I know how much focus it had to take to pull off just that wind trick. Don't downplay your success because of what happened. I... It was an accident. I know as much. Take your feelings and use them to fuel your determination. We have to finish this," she tried her best to encourage me. Back then, I realized that without her, I wouldn't stand a chance in this world. Not before, and definitely not now.
"Ugh, she's like poison to your mind," the Shade growled.
"Really? Are you sure you aren't describing yourself?" I whispered to the spirit.
"Myself? Eddie, I am YOU! At least a part of you. I am the voice of reason! If you continue on this voyage, you will lose. You will lose them all! And when that happens, you'll come to me for help. And I'll be here for you, just as always."
"I'm not gonna let that happen. Nobody else will die."
"Heh, we'll see about that."
Afterwards, the shade disappeared, and I returned to my friends. We spent the next few minutes making a little pile of Anci's armour, as a sort of grave for him. We each said a few words about him. Everyone except me. I wasn't able to look anyone in the eye. Part of my guilt was still there, eating me from the inside.
"So, where do we go from here?" Soul asked after we were done with the ceremony.
"I know the way, but the Spikeys are blocking it," Foof announced his presence once again.
"Spikeys? What is that?" Chester asked the question we all wanted to know the answer to.
"Come, I'll show you!" The little dragon jumped out of White's hand and ran around the corner, leading us to the other side of the building. "There! Those are Spikeys!" He enthusiastically pointed to a neighbouring building that was covered almost completely by red slimes with large spikes coming out of their bodies.
"What the hell are those?" Beast expressed his concern.
"Spikeys. They are a type of Burned. Don't worry, they aren't aggressive. But don't try to cuddle with them. They are really hot!" Foof's knowledge of the ruined Everstar paid off.
"Okay, but... that building is in the way. We need to go through it. But how will we get rid of those... Spikeys." The face Chester made while pronouncing their name made it very clear that he was not too fond of it. Must've been due to its sort of childish nature. A sign that Foof was the one who gave them such a name.
"Don't worry, they usually never stay around for long. We just wait for a bit and they will disappear," the little dragon assured us.
And so we waited and waited. An hour passed by, along with several highly uncomfortable fire waves. But no matter how long we've waited, those things didn't seem like they'd be moving anytime soon.
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"Ugh! How much longer?" Soul complained.
"Just a little while. You can't rush these things. They explode when they are under a lot of stress," Foof once again had the answer.
Soul replied to him with an annoyed grunt and sat down in the corner of the room. While I did have a lot of patience with most things, sitting there in the heat doing nothing was slowly starting to drive even me crazy. And it was a time like this when he appeared again. The Shade walked into the room and sat down next to me.
"Still waiting, huh? Man, you're a wuss."
"And what am I supposed to do? It's not like I can make them all disappear!" I tried to defend myself.
"You can't. But... with my help, we could change that."
"What do you mean?"
"I know the ins and outs of your Divine Creativity. I can control it. If you give me control over your own body, I will help you perform some miracles with those powers of yours." This all sounded extremely shady.
"Yeah, right, and then you won't give me my body back. I've seen enough movies to know how that ends," I replied and turned away from him.
"Not at all. For me to stay in your body, I need to be invited. And it's just as easy to get rid of me," the Shade kept persuading me.
"How do I know you're not lying to me?"
"You don't. But what other option do you have? I don't know if you've failed to realize it, but all your worlds are dying. If you don't hurry up, the flames will consume them, just as they did with Everstar. Now... do we have a deal?" he extended his hand forward, expecting me to shake it. Every single muscle in my body was telling me not to, but there was something truthful about his words. We needed a way forward, and if this would open it for us, then I was willing to take risks.
"Eddie? What have you been mumbling all the time?" Soul asked me, but I paid him little attention. My decision has been made. I grabbed the Shade's hand and witnessed as his body dissolved into thin air.
At first, I didn't feel anything. It was just as if nothing happened. But because of that, it felt much more strange when I started moving without having any control. As much as I hated it, a promise was a promise. I wasn't going to fight back until Shade's actions would start to be harmful to either me or my friends.
"You okay, Eddie?" Beast asked, but even he got no answer. I simply walked over to the window and firmly grasped my sword. Or at least, that's what the Shade did.
A chilling wind ran through the whole building as the dark copy of myself prepared my sword for striking. He held it high, near the right side of our face. The crystal started glowing, passing this trait soon onto the blade as well. I felt the freezing effect sting my hands, but the Shade refused to let go. In the next moment, he slashed. All that energy stored in the crystal got released in a massive blue wave. It flew forward, out of the window, and struck the building across the street. The entire wall froze, and the sudden change in temperature took care of the Spikeys. The moment the deed was done, I felt the Shade's presence leave, and control over my body returned to me.
"Heh, there, problem solved!" I turned around and victoriously called out to my friends.
"Get down!" Foof tried to warn me. It was too late.
At first, I didn't know what happened. A sharp pain struck me in my left calf, forcing me to drop to my knee. Two other such feelings soon followed on my back. This was all accompanied by a popping sound as if somebody was making a big bag of popcorn. Before I could even start screaming in pain, Soul already pulled me to the floor. In the next few seconds, burning spikes started flying into the room, raining down on us like shrapnel. Only then did the real pain kick in.
"Quick! Pull them out!" the little dragon shouted, pointing at me.
The following few events are very blurry in my memory. Soul tried to pull the three scorching spikes out of my body. It hurt him, but his mist-like form allowed him not to receive any serious injuries. I, on the other hand, suffered another wave of intense pain. The next few minutes completely flew over my head. The world in front of my eyes faded, along with my consciousness.
I didn't know how long it took for me to wake up. The next thing I remember is sitting in the corner, leaning against the wall. The wounds after the spikes were covered by chunks of White's robes. Beast was standing behind me, waving my enchanted sword over my back.
"Ugh... What are you doing?" were the first things I asked when I woke up and looked over my shoulder.
"Ah!, you're awake. I'm trying to cool your burns a bit," Beast replied and kept waving the sword. I didn't complain. The light chill of the blade felt rather comfortable.
"Idiot! What was that supposed to be?! You acted recklessly and look where it got you!" Soul scolded me. I didn't have enough strength to answer him. Soon after, Shade appeared in the doorway in front of me.
"Oh come on, don't give me that look, Eddie. I kept my end of the bargain. Not my fault you got hurt."
Everything about him was suddenly pissing me off. He might've been some strange part of me, but that didn't mean I had to accept him. From that point on, I decided to do things my way. He would only bring harm to our group. But in a sense, the situation got even more confusing for me. Where did this guy suddenly come from? How come he could control my... our power so well? Why was I not surprised by his presence? Normally, a visitor like that would freak me out. This guy, however, felt familiar. Like I've known him my entire life. If I was truly going insane, then this would be clear proof of that.
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