DYLAN ||

Groaning, I crack my eyes open at the loss of Raiden's warmth.

Looking next to me, his scent lingered, his spot in the bed was empty, but I could feel him through our bond.

Our bond..

We marked each other yesterday or last night or a few hours ago, shit I don't know when it actually was, but I did know we marked each other.

If someone would have told me 3 months ago that I would be mated to a man, fall in love with that man and have sex with that man, I probably would have ripped their head off.

Our sex was fucking amazing man.

There was actually a time when I thought sex up the ass couldn't possibly fucking feel good, but what a crock of shit that was because that shit felt amazing!

My mate isn't an inexperienced man either, he's a fucking freak seriously. He did things to me that I didn't even know was possible. I don't know what the fuck he was hitting inside my ass, but whoa, he can hit that spot whenever he wants, as much as he wants, for as long as he wants.

I wouldn't complain about that mouth of his either, he's a vacuum, literally. I've never experienced oral that intense and the way he licked my... fuck, I can't even say it. That's embarrassing, but it felt crazy good.

Oh shit and the mirror, I've never watched myself have sex, much less get fucked, but Goddess, that was such a turn on.

The way he choked me and kissed me and fucked me and praised me..... FUCK!

Damn it.. I have to calm down..

My man is a walking, talking sex machine. Like seriously, I think he broke me.

My ass is on fire.

Throwing the sheet off my body, I do my best to get off the bed. Attempting to sit up, I wince at the twinge of pain in my damn ass. Everything felt crampy, my thighs and lower back were on fire just as much as my poor asshole.

I should have told babe to stop, but I just couldn't. That shit felt so good and now I'm paying for my slutty ways.

Shit.. I'm no better than Sir Slutty now.

"Fuck you very much Dylan." Maddox growled.

"No thanks, I'll leave that to Raiden." I teased.

"And you call me sir Slutty, but if you could have seen and heard the way you were acting a few hours ago, you would be thoroughly embarrassed dip dip."

"Whatever."

"And you said you weren't gay, you sir are very much, all around, no doubt about it gay and you loved every minute of taking our mate's huge....."

"SHUT UP!"

"Love you." It was his turn to tease me, I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Love you too Maddox and fuck you."

"No thanks, I'll leave that to Onyx." He laughed again before I blocked him out.

I think I might want a new wolf again.

Trying my best to ignore the thought of dropping my veil and cussing out my wolf, I attempt to get off the bed once again. The moment my feet hit the floor and I stand up, the sharpest pain rushed through my stomach. It was the most intense tugging and stretching sensation I've ever experienced, it almost felt like my fucking organs were shifting around. Everything hurt...... a lot.

I dropped to my knees at the foot of the bed and clutched my stomach. I could feel Raiden's worry through our bond, his warmth felt like it was getting closer, then I heard the bedroom door open.

I was groaning and grunting from the pain radiating through my abdomen when Raiden rushed over and fell to his knees in front of me.

"What's wrong baby? What is it?" His voice was so frantic, it made me panic even more.

"It hurts." I cried, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him into me. I needed my mate and his warmth and his love right now. I didn't know how to deal with this weird pain, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled his scent to ease my fear. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me super close and I appreciated it so much right now.

"Tell me what hurts pups." Babe whispers kissing the side of my neck.

"My stomach babe, it fucking hurts."

He starts rubbing my back soothingly before leaning back just enough to kiss my forehead.

"I think you're going into heat pups."

That whole thought scared the shit out of me. The new sensations that came with your heat were not something that I wanted to deal with right now and no matter how much I wanted my mate to put our naked bodies in front of that mirror, choke me and fuck me into oblivion again, I don't think my poor ass could take another pounding like that anytime soon.

"I don't want to be in heat." I whine into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry puppy, it will pass, I promise and I'm here to help you through it."

I whined into his shoulder again, silently begging it all to stop. The tugging pain wasn't enough to make me actually shed a tear, but I've come to learn that I'm a dramatic, needy alpha wolf when I'm in my mates arms, so I couldn't help but cry into him the second I felt another fucking shift through my abdomen.

"Babe, it hurts." I tell him, adjusting my body and tightening my grip around his neck.

"I know puppy, I know."

He continues to rub my back as I continue to be his big fucking crybaby.

The worst of the pain stopped way too long after it started, but I was thankful that it felt bearable now. So I slowly pulled away from my mate's strong arms and took a deep breath.

"Better baby?" He asks, I nod.

"It's manageable." I breathe out as he kisses the tip of my nose.

I love when he does that. Besides the way he choked me while fucking me and kissing me, his nose kisses were my favorite.

Once I was able to actually catch my damn breath, babe helped me off the floor and into a bath, that he said would be better for me. The hot water hit my skin and washed away any pain I felt earlier, thank Goddess because that shit was not ok.

I don't want Raiden to be right, I don't want to be in heat, but that's the only thing that makes fucking sense for the pain and the fact that my body feels like it's on fire. It's the same thing Raiden went through, thinking back to those days, this was going to be fucking rough.

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|| TEN DAYS LATER ||

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UGH!

It's been 10 fucking days and my heat still hasn't actually started, the pain in my damn stomach however, had decided to stay.

It finally stopped after the 3rd day and I was fucking jumping for joy. Everyday and night with that shifting feeling, made my attitude way worse than it normally was.

The night it first started, Raiden helped me into a hot shower than sat in the bathtub with me, he held me the whole time and washed every inch of my body. He's the fucking best, I swear. He even gave me a massage after .

After my bath and massage, babe said everyone was waiting downstairs because we missed dinner earlier that day. Raiden helped me get dressed, then we went down to the kitchen and met everyone else.

Liam told me that him and Emilio were going to give their bond another chance and honestly, that was the best news I could have heard for them. They both deserved to be happy with the one they truly loved, especially with all the bullshit they're endured these last 21 years.

You can totally see how much they love each other even after all this time of being apart. The only thing I didn't fully understand was my relationship to Gabe now. I mean sure the man was my bestfriend and my beta, but does this now make him my brother too?

That same day, Liam told us that he would be leaving the next morning with Rhogon and his mates to scout the area around Wolf's Claw pack. It took them 2 days to get there, which made me laugh because it took us 4 days to get here, clearly Taj made the journey longer so that Gabe could catch up. Hilarious.

Once Liam, Rhogon and his mates got to the surrounding territory, they spent 3 days there, then came back here to the Shadow pack. They arrived back this morning, telling everyone about a weak spot on the eastern side of my borders as well as the northern side. All of which made sense, according to all of the issues we've had on the eastern side and the day that Adonis and his pack of terrifying felines completely ripped apart my gates and defenses on the northern side.

He was heading out again tomorrow with Alpha Frederick.

Liam said on the first go around, he, Rhogon and his mates didn't notice any signs of Dean, Jake or my mom the whole time they were there, so he linked the warriors they left there, which were the gamma blood transfers because the beta blood transfers came with Hunter, Taj and I, two weeks ago when we showed up here at the Shadow Pack.

The gamma blood transfers still in Wolf's Claw, reported that they haven't seen Dean, Jake or my mom that entire time either. The only ones they have seen were Kaylie, Theo and Garrett, which had taken to running my pack in my absence.

According to one of the gamma transfers, Garrett announced himself as acting Alpha while I'm gone and he's placed Theo as acting Beta, then made the entire pack pledge their lives and loyalty to him temporarily, which I didn't even know was a thing.

Nobody really knows what Kaylie has been doing besides spending a lot of time at the pack hospital, I'm assuming with her mate, Ruby because she's the head nurse there.

My brother and cousin or whatever the hell they are to me, announcing themselves as acting Alpha and Beta and telling my pack to pledge their loyalty to them didn't sit too well with me. Especially because the pack is already loyal to them, Garrett's father, Dean and Theo's father, Jake.

I wasn't surprised to hear that there have been no issues with pack members rebelling against their leadership. I just hate the fact that they've been able to take over my pack without issue and that they even took the initiative to do it when nobody gave them the permission to do so.

As soon as I get back, I would have to get a handle on things once again. The alpha in me wouldn't allow someone else to take over my pack or territory without a fair fight. Something that Dean didn't grace Liam with, so I was determined to offer that to Garrett if he chose not to give up control.

I've been gone for almost three weeks now, so any longer would truly be an issue if I wanted to take control of my pack again. Majority of them are murderers, but the ones that aren't deserve to follow an alpha and beta that actually cares, not wolves like Garrett and Theo, who are clearly two power hungry little shits.

It makes me wonder if what Liam and Bennett said was true. Maybe my entire fucking family has been against me the whole time or I was in someway just a place holder for Dean and mom's true son, Garrett to be alpha. Legally he wouldn't be able to take over as Alpha until he's 21 as long as his father is still present. Seeing how Garrett is only 20, he had another year before he could legally take over the pack, so placing me as alpha to hold the seat for him made a ton of fucking sense and I hated it.

It also made sense why Dean, Jake and my mom haven't been seen because Garrett would legally be able to take over with their absence, even if he is underage.

I didn't want to believe what Liam and Bennett said, but everything fits. Especially now with Garrett and Theo in power, something that to my knowledge, was never granted to them.

Shaking those detrimental thoughts from my mind, I finally walk into the kitchen. I've been so fucking hungry since that pain stopped 7 days ago. This would be like the millionth time I've stepped foot in this damn kitchen today.

My increasing hunger and lack of patience this past week is making things a lot worse for those around me. I've been snapping on everyone and so fucking emotional. I didn't know why, nor did I actually mean to, but everything has been setting my crazy emotions off.

Like two days ago, Raiden brought me a glass of apple juice with ice, which I asked for, but I snapped on him because apparently my brain decided 4 ice cubes weren't enough because I wanted an odd number. So I snapped on him about it and he went downstairs to put another ice cube in my cup, brought it back to me, but then my brain decided because my mate didn't get upset about my attitude, I should be upset about that too. So I called him a "leopard idiot" then drank my Apple juice and gave him a kiss afterwards.

Then there was yesterday, when the whole gang besides Liam, Rhogon and his mates because they were still gone, we're watching a movie, I got hungry for the thousandth time. So Raiden made me a grilled cheese sandwich because my brain decided that I like cheese all of a sudden, which I normally fucking hate. When he brought me the grilled cheese sandwich, I snapped on him because apparently I wanted meat on it as well, but I didn't tell him that the first time. So he apologized and took the first sandwich back, then came back with a new sandwich that had cheese and meat this time, but guess what, I snapped on him again. This time it was because he threw the original sandwich away because I told him to, but my brain decided that he shouldn't have listened to me and I snapped on him because of it.

Then everyone in the room laughed at my idiot-ness and usually I wouldn't be upset about that because who the fuck cares what they think, but yesterday I was extremely upset. I ended up calling everyone "hairball, gnat brained idiots" then I ran out the livingroom, threw my sandwich away and kicked a chair.

Raiden found me in the hallway, sitting on the floor and when he tried to comfort me, I snapped on him again for being amazing. I told him "you're too fucking perfect and you should just stop because it's annoying." He didn't feed into my stupidity and just hugged me through my fit of rage, eventually I started crying and hugged him back. Then when I was done crying, I asked for another grilled cheese sandwich.

What the fuck is wrong with me..

I've just been so fucking emotional and irritable and hungry.

I'm always freaking hungry.

Opening the fridge, I seen my apple juice container was empty and my fit of rage was starting to kick in again, so I closed the fridge and took a few deep breaths before opening it again, only to notice the container wasn't actually empty.

I rolled my eyes at myself and grabbed it, drinking straight from the container. This will make anyone think twice if they want some of my apple juice again.

I said twice, but I don't think anybody touched it even once... ugh!

Slamming the fridge door shut because I was now being stupid with myself, I walked out the kitchen after grabbing a muffin, something else I hated, but my tastebuds this past week have only wanted the things I've avoided my whole life, so I grabbed it, bit into it and enjoyed it then made my way back to my room because I wanted my bed.

Sleep has become my bestfriend and I was throughly enjoying getting all the rest I could.

When I walked in, I seen Raiden already on the bed, leaned against the headboard, reading a book and somehow, that irritated me.

"Why the fuck are you reading right now? It's like 8 in the morning." I growled, walking towards the bed before climbing on and burying myself under the cover after finishing my muffin.

"I like reading pups, you should read more."

His words pissed me even more. What is he trying to say? That I'm an idiot because I don't read?

Throwing the blanket off my head, I glared at my stupid mate.

"Why the hell would you say I need to read more? Just because I don't read as much as you do, doesn't mean I'm fucking stupid Raiden."

He looked at me and frowned before setting his book down on his bedside table.

"Pups, I didn't say you were stupid, all I said was you-"

"I heard what you said, you called me stupid because I don't read as much as you do."

"Pups, I did not call you stupid, I said-"

"I fucking heard you Raiden!" I interrupted him again because I knew what he said, I knew what I heard. He's being a damn jerk, he called me stupid. "You called me-" This time he interrupted me by placing his hand over my mouth.

"Stop it." He growled at me, but all that did was further piss me off. I tried to snatch his hand from my mouth, but he grabbed the back of my head with his other hand, then flipped our bodies so he was sitting on top of me. His movements were so fast, I didn't have time to fully register it and a muffled yelp left my lips and landed into his hand.

"You have been increasingly difficult this past week pups and I've tried to be patient with you because I love you and you're obviously going through something I don't understand right now, but I won't let you put words in my mouth." He snarled above me, never once taking his hand from my mouth.

"I did not call you stupid, what I said was you should read more and not because I think you're stupid because I don't think that. I said that because reading is calming and it could help take your mind off all the stress in your life, that's it. So don't put words in my mouth, I did not call you stupid, I would never call you that."

My brows knit together before I feel my tears brimming as I stare up at him. Babe's harden expression softens the moment he notices my tears and he moves his hand from my mouth then climbs off me and sits back in his spot on the bed.

I turn away from him because I'm so fucking embarrassed. I thought I heard him call me stupid, but his emotions through the bond right now were telling me how upset and hurt he was by my craziness. Maybe he didn't call me stupid...

"I'm sorry babe." I whispered, still unable to meet his gaze.

"It's ok pups, I know you didn't mean it and I'm sorry for my frustration, I just hated that you could even think that I would call you stupid... I love you, I would never call you that."

His words made my frown deepen. I'm such a fucking idiot.

Slowly turning around, I seen his back instead of his face and that made me even more upset. I started crying even harder, my sniffling obviously caught his attention because he turned around and wrapped his arms around me. I sighed before nuzzling under his chin and wrapping my arms around him as well.

"I'm sorry babe."

"I know puppy, I'm sorry too."

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|| ANOTHER WEEK PASSES BY||

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This shit stinks and it's making me nauseous.

I don't know what the fuck Avery and the lionesses put in this food, but it's fucking disgusting and it's making my stomach hurt.

Not only does it taste awful, but it stinks.

I can't smell anything but garlic and I just want to push this damn plate away and go back to bed. I'm fucking tired!

"Pups, what's wrong?" Babe asks, he was sitting next to me at the dining table. We decided not to go to the meal hall with the rest of the pack because I wasn't feeling good.

This past week was worst than the week before. I would take my irrational, out of control emotions over this shit any day.

I've been so tired every single day, like literally, I just wake up to pee and shower and eat, then I go right back to bed. I haven't even had the energy to be mad about anything. All I wanted was my bed and my man to hold me.