Pretending that something didn't happen doesn't really work. Not with me at least. I forbid myself to talk about it, to think about it, but there is no control from my side when it comes to my sleep. He's in my fucking dreams, and I wake up every morning feeling hot and bothered. It's infuriating! I haven't slept peacefully for two weeks now, so I'm edgy and mean. So mean, that even Layla started calling me a porcupine, who uses their needles to keep everyone as far as possible from them.

"Ava?" My dad's voice sounds groggy. No surprise here, it's 4am, and I'm sitting on the kitchen counter with a glass of water in my hands and our cat Smokey sleeping on the stool. He followed me here from my bedroom and stayed because he realized I wasn't going anywhere. "Why are you up so early?"

"I'm not really up." I mumble and take a sip of my water.

"So, you walk in your sleep?" He chuckles, coming to the fridge and taking out a bottle of grape juice.

"No, I just can't sleep."

"Why is that?" Dad pours himself a juice in another glass, while keeping his gaze trained on me. "Is something bothering you?"

"Nope." I shrug my shoulders, looking away and focusing my gaze on the wall.

"Is someone bothering you?" My eyes flicker to my dad and a triumphant smile stretches across his lips. "Who is he?"

"Who said it's a guy?" I whine, making him chortle.

"So, it's a girl? Is it your roommate? Is she still giving you trouble?" Dad bombards me with questions and I sulk, letting my shoulders slump. He comes closer and leans his back on the kitchen counter. "Talk to me, kid. Please."

"Jordan is Jordan. I don't care about her." I heave a sigh, biting my bottom lip nervously. My dad always gives pretty great advice, but I'm not really sure he needs to know everything. "Someone just confuses me."

"Baby, I don't remember ever judging you. You can be honest with me." My father exclaims in a soft voice, and I inch closer and put my head on his shoulder.

"I like someone, but at the same time he brings out the worst in me... and sometimes I hate him. No, most of the time I hate him. Literally can't stand the guy, but... I don't know." I fumble, Dad's aftershave's scent reaches my nostrils and envelopes me in warmth at once. He's my rock, and even if it was incredibly hard for him to raise me on his own, he did an amazing job.

"And what about this guy? How do you think he feels about you?"

"That asshole?" I ask sarcastically, and Dad cracks up, laughing. "It's totally the same. One second he hates me and is insulting me, but the next he looks at me with his puppy dog eyes as if I'm his favorite snack."

Dad coughs, spitting his juice. I tap on his back, helping him to clear his throat. He slowly turns to look at me, a deep wrinkle forms between his eyebrows. "You are a snack," he states, and I nod, biting the inner side of my bottom lip. "What exactly happened between you and this guy?"

"We kinda had an argument, and he said something really rude. And then he kissed me, and I kissed him back." Dad tilts his head to the side, expecting me to continue. "Well, I returned to my senses, pushed him away and told him not to do that ever again."

"What did he do?" He speaks in a calm and soothing voice, showing me I don't have anything to be afraid of.

"Nothing. He let me leave." I press my glass to my forehead and close my eyes. "I have avoided him ever since."

"That's why you came home instead of going with Layla to the game last weekend?" Father puts his glass on the countertop, takes a napkin and starts cleaning the mess he created, glancing at me all the time.

"Yeah..." I trail off, seeing as my dad straightens his back and grins at me. What is that about? He looks so pleased with himself.

"So, he's a hockey player." Damn him! I roll my eyes but nod my head in confirmation. "Does Drake know?"

"God, no!" I yelp, closing my mouth and pressing a palm to my lips. Dad throws the cloth he was using for cleaning to the sink and gazes at me intently. Then, he sighs and runs his hands over his face.

"Please tell me you didn't break the rule."

"The rule?" I frown, quirking my eyebrow in question.

"The rule of not sleeping with your best friend's siblings." He looks so serious, while I really want to laugh. Aloud. What the hell is wrong with me?!

I lift my shoulders, spread my arms, and just say, "Oops."

"Ava..." Dad groans, threading fingers through his short hair.

"It happened last year." I lie, looking him straight in the eyes. "It was once."

"Uh huh... As if I'm going to believe you." He shakes his head but doesn't add anything else. Dad folds his arms across his chest, scrutinizing me under his gaze and I feel like a frog for dissection. Ugh, why am I always so open with him? "Okay... tell me about this guy. Not Drake."

"Drake and I are just friends, so there is nothing else to talk about." I sigh, jumping to my feet and strolling to the sink. "And in all honesty, there is nothing to talk about when it comes to the jerk either. He's arrogant and really secretive. I don't like guys like him."

"Dunno, baby, sounds exactly like your type." Dad mumbles, as I open the tap. "You like troublemakers. Like Jefferson."

"Jefferson is a stupid fucker, and he deserves to..." A hand squeezes my shoulder, and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, Dad, I shouldn't have..."

"That idiot deserves your hatred, little one. You have every right to call him whatever you want." I whirl around and hide my face in his chest. Father holds me close, massaging my back with his hands. "How about you go back to bed and try to sleep? We can always talk about this mysterious hockey player any other time. When you are ready to tell me about him."

"There is nothing to talk about, about Thompson, I'm being honest." I whisper, leaning away. "Is it a bad thing I would have loved to stay longer?"

Dad tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and then cups my cheek, stroking it with his fingertips. "It's not a bad thing, Ava, and it actually fills my heart with joy... that you always can find comfort in this house, and you know it."

"You're such an amazing dad." I murmur, and he bends his head down and kisses me on the forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." He steps back, turning to the sink. "Now, shoosh, go back to bed."

"Yes, Mr Mason." I giggle, spinning around and heading to the living room.

"Ava?" I look over my shoulder, meeting Dad's gaze. "Did you say his last name is Thompson?"

"I... I did..." Fuck! I'm the messiest dumb ever!

"Okay." He nods his head and then gives me his back. "Go to bed, baby. You're going back to college tonight and you need to feel rested."

Blowing air out of my mouth, I go straight to the stairs and climb to the second floor. Next time, I'll stay in my room instead of going to the kitchen where Dad can stumble on me. I blurted him out way more than I ever planned. Sometimes having such a close relationship with your family is a curse. In my case at least.

🏒✨🏒✨🏒

"How about a coffee?" The first person I meet once I walk out of the dorm is Baker. He leans his back on his fancy SUV, palms hidden in his armpits and legs crossed.

"No, thank you, Adam." I plaster a smile and walk away. I hear him lock his car and then he runs after me. Why can't he just back off? "Listen-"

"I want to apologize for my behavior." He cuts me off, his eyes glued to my face. "Truthfully."

"Okay. Go on. Apologize." I feel like I'm Isabela from Encanto, but the difference is simple. He's not a Mirabel. He's the guy I'm sure I can't trust. At all.

"I'm sorry for hitting on you, for trying to force myself on you. It was disrespectful and I shouldn't have done it. Ever." He smiles and I roam my eyes over his face slowly. I kind of see why girls like him, why Grace liked him, but for me he's more appalling than attractive. Like something is wrong with him, and all his nice looks hide something very unpleasant. "Will you forgive me?"

"Maybe." I shrug, looking over his shoulder and noticing Clay. He's not alone though. A woman takes a step back and slides into a red car. Is it his mom?

"I have a question." I tear my gaze away and focus on Baker once again. "I don't really like losing, so... is there any chance you'll ever agree to ride my dick?"

I'm literally speechless, and for anyone who knows me well enough, it means one thing... I'm fuming. He's so fucking dumb! "Excuse me?"

"I'm great in bed, Ava. So, I'll ask again. Any chance you will agree to ride my dick?" He leans in forward, hovering over me with a suggestive smile on his stupid face.

"I hate cows. And bulls. They scare the shit out of me with their horns, their colors and the sounds they make..." I hiss, accompanying every word with a punch in his shoulder. "But I'd rather ride a bull at a rodeo before I'd ever ride your dick. Get the fucking notice! I don't like you!"

Shouting all that in his stupefied face, I hurry up and march away from him, heading straight to the place I saw Clay. He also hits on me from time to time but he's not persistent at all, and the more time goes by, the more it reminds me of friendly bickering. Rodgers is a nice guy, and not confusing at all. Unlike his best friend.

"Hey Clay," I call out, waving at him as I come closer. He sees me and starts grinning from ear to ear. "How are you?"

"Hey hey, Mason." Clay murmurs and I stop in front of him. "I'm good. What about you?"

"Just yelled at Baker, told him I would rather ride a bull at a rodeo, than his dick." His face changes so drastically so it's funny to watch. He's stunned and speechless, but a second later, he bursts out laughing like crazy. "Are you proud of me?"

"More than you fucking know." He lets out between fits of laughter. "Do you have any plans?"

"Not really." Layla and Drake will be back on campus tomorrow morning. Grace is on a date with Kaleb, so staying in the room with Jordan for a few hours straight isn't on my to-do list. That's how I ended up here in the first place. "Why? Do you want to invite me somewhere?"

"I do." Clay winks at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and strolling us away from the dorm. "Do you like pizza?"

I wrinkle my nose, and his face falls. "Don't get me wrong, pizza is great... but I already ate at home, and after my dad's lasagna I'm full."

"Your dad's lasagna? What about your mom?" He asks playfully. "Does she cook?"

"I don't have a mom..." I blabber, seeing his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Like I had a mom, but she died when I was around 5, so it has been a pretty long time. Since then it has been just my dad and me..."

"I'm so sorry about that! And about my words..." Clay tugs me closer, hugging me tighter. "God, I feel terrible now."

"It's fine. You didn't know." I give him a small smile, nudging his side with my elbow. "Was that your mom with you?"

"My mom?" He sounds and looks surprised, and I feel stupid all of a sudden.

"I saw you with a woman, when I was talking to Baker. I thought..." I fall silent, noticing Clay's lips tremble. He tries hard not to laugh, and I scowl. "What's so funny?!"

"That's not my mom. I hooked up with her last night..." I don't let him finish, untangling myself from him and scooting away. "Hey? What's wrong with you? Ava?"

Giggling comes out on its own, loud, and infectious. Clay cracks a smile too, shaking his head as he watches me with amusement. "How old is she?"

"Do you really think I asked for her ID?" Oh my fucking God! It's gold. This guy is the best thing that happened to me in college, and I suddenly realize I want him to be my friend. A real one. "Sierra is around 37, I guess."

"Do you like women who are older than you?" I ask as we finally resume our walk again.

"You're younger than me and I like you." He points out, making me chuckle. "I just like women overall. As long as she gives me a vibe, then we're good."

"You're full of surprises, Clay Rodgers." I purr sweetly, and he reaches over and drapes a hand over my shoulder. "I like you too."

"As a friend." He adds and I nod. "It's so strange but I'm not even upset. Your vibe is different. It intrigues me, and for whatever reason I don't really want to screw it up."

"I would love for us to be friends." He gazes at me intently, then leans in and kisses my temple. So simple and yet so tender, making my heart flutter in my chest.

"Then, you're my friend." I smile a big toothy smile, ready to melt into this guy. "Though you will need to give me your phone number. I'm the kind of friend who can call you whenever I want to talk to you, and that shit works likewise for you too. Especially if you need help with something. Or someone is bothering you. You can rely on me too, not only on Drake."

"Aww, Clay, I had no idea you're such a softie."

"Only for you, babe." He hugs me tight and turns us to the right. I see a pizza house not far from where we are. "Where is Benson? And his sister?"

"Drake and Layla are at home. They will be back tomorrow morning," I say quietly. "They suggested I go with them, but I decided to come here with my dad. He has a night shift tonight, so he obviously won't be home and won't be able to drop me off tomorrow..."

"Layla became a way better version of herself once her obsession with Colt ended." He snickers, while I basically cross my fingers for him not to mention the jerk again. Please, Clay, let me have a break from the guy at least in reality if I can't do anything with my dreams. "She's pretty hot."

I halt in my tracks so abruptly that Clay stumbles forward. His gaze fixed on me, as I observe him with my eyes narrowed. "Do you like my bestie?"

"I always did." Something in Clay tells me he's being honest. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to him? There is no bullshit or confusion when it comes to the guy, and I really like him for that. "Though, her brother told us right away she's off limits for guys from the hockey team. And then she started crushing hard on my best friend."

He shrugs, while I chew on my bottom lip. "What if I told you Drake is bullshitting all of you? About Layla, I mean?"

"Can you be more specific?" Clay's brows pinch together, as he stares at me with his yellowish green eyes with dilated pupils.

"If Layla ever started dating any of the guys from the team, he wouldn't say a word." He blinks, the crease between his eyebrows becomes deeper. "He's only against one of you fucking his sister as if there is no tomorrow and forgetting about her the next day. That's all."

"It sucks." Clay mutters. "It means she's still off limits for me. I don't do relationships."

"Have you tried doing relationships?" I ask him jokingly, and he shakes my head no. "You have no idea how much you're missing out."

"How so?" He takes his hand off my shoulder and opens the door of the pizza house for us, letting me in first. "I'm getting laid without any real effort."

"Sex is better with someone you can trust. When you have a certain level of familiarity. A comfort." I go to the nearest table, but Clay catches my hand and stops me. "What?"

"I need to place orders."

"We're not staying?" I ask curiously.

"Nope. Do you want something to eat? I'll buy it for you."

I come closer and look at the menu, as I'm really not hungry at all I choose latte and two donuts. Clay looks at me as if I'm wacko but doesn't say anything to argue with me. 5 minutes later, we sit down at the table waiting for our order.

"You mentioned trust and familiarity when it comes to sex. Can you explain a bit more?" He gawks at me with such vulnerability, so I really wonder why he chose hookups over trying to be in a relationship. "What does that mean to you?"

"I'm going to be extremely upfront so don't judge." I warn him and he nods his head with a serious expression on his face. "For most men reaching orgasm during sex isn't a problem, while for women it's often not so easy. We need a connection, the ability to talk openly about things we like or even show a guy what makes us feel good. It's simpler when you know the guy when you know you can trust him."

"It was like that for you with Drake." Clay states and I nod my head in confirmation.

"I trust him like I trust myself. I know he will never hurt me, and I can be honest with him. That I can be myself with him." I smile sheepishly, casting a gaze to the side. "I'm open to experimenting, and I'm not afraid to try something new, but it never ended well, until Drake."

"Is our captain the best sex you've ever had?" He cocks an eyebrow, a mischief obvious in his eyes.

"He is." I confirm, holding his gaze. I'll never tell that to Layla, but I definitely talked about it with Grace. Because I needed to talk to someone about my sex with my best friend's brother, and her roommate was exactly the person I needed.

"Wow. Who knew that Benson is a beast?" Clay jokes, and I smack him in his shoulder. "What?"

"You didn't understand a thing I just told you."

"I did." He retorts, looking over my shoulder. "When you're dating someone, you trust them. You talk to them. You create bonds. So, sex is really better when it's your permanent partner, and not just some lady for a hookup."

"True." I bite my bottom lip, raking my eyes over his face. He has freckles but they aren't really bright, and his hair is a nice color. All in all, Clay Rodgers is a handsome guy. Just not my type. "Why did you decide not to date anyone?"

"Getting personal, are we?" Clay laughs heartily and then looks over my shoulder again. "Our order is ready."

"You're no fun." I stand up and follow him to grab my coffee. I have no idea what he has in mind or where we are going, I just go with the flow and strangely, I like it.

"I need to make sure I can trust you before I'll reveal all my dirty secrets to you." Clay elbows me in my ribs, and I whimper. Not because it hurts, but because it's too sudden. "Say... so if I ask Layla on a real date, her brother isn't going to kick my ass?"

"I can put in a good word for you." I suggest, and I'm being completely honest. "To make sure none of your body parts are broken if you do ask my best friend on a date."

Clay looks me up and down and grins. "Cool. I'll think about it." He hands me my coffee and donuts and takes three large pizza boxes in his hands. "Let's go, Ava. It's time for you to become a part of my gang."