I see something with us more than fuckin'

But I'm distracted every time you touch me

Insane, I must be

Chapter Forty Six

||KIT||

†

I tugged at the ends of my hair nervously, pacing in the living room of the once warm and welcoming home where there was now a body only a few feet away, in the earliest stages of decomposition.

My mind was racing with all the information I needed to process. Masky had left me alone to clean up the mess after tricking me into doing something horrible again.

What did he mean when he said the mask was a placebo? That I'd made myself think it was controlling my actions when really I was in control the whole time?

If that's true then I'm a murderer and even worse, I felt no remorse for doing what I'd done.

Bile rose in my throat and I looked down at my shaking bloody hands in anger and confusion. How could he do that to me after I'd given him so much of myself? My throat felt dry and I took a deep calming breath, coming to a stop as I raised my head to the ceiling and closed my eyes.

Deep breaths. In through nose- out through mouth. I practiced this for a while until my heart was no longer thudding in my chest.

I need to get out of here.

Brushing off the initial panic that had temporarily scrambled my thoughts I was about to head down the hallway when I noticed one of the pill bottles Masky had missed in his hurry to get away from me. I picked it up and studied the label.

Haloperidol. The name on the label said Timothy Wright.

I stuffed the bottle into the pocket of my hoodie before heading down the hallway and into the bathroom. The bright lights had me squinting a little before I focused on my face.

I didn't expect to ever get to the point where I no longer recognized myself in front of a mirror but the life I've led has changed me.

Peering into the eyes reflected back at me I couldn't see myself. Only someone who looked like me.

Her hair was a mess and her eyes were red and puffy to go with the bruises on her lips and blood on her shirt.

Dried blood followed a path from a wound on her neck, just under her ear and ended where it had soaked into the shirt underneath her sweater.

She looked insane.

With a huff I turned on the tap, leaving droplets of blood on the sink as I scrubbed and scrubbed at the red staining my skin.

It was simpler when he only wanted to help me escape the police. Now he'd found my weakness and exploited it.

Why did I convince myself it was possible to lead a double life where I could have my cake and eat it? Where I could go to school every day and then kiss a killer on the weekends?

I'd even subconsciously convinced myself that he loved me too and that it justified everything he'd forced me to endure.

Tears flooded my vision and I blinked them away, wishing I was anywhere else.

The blood wasn't coming off no matter how hard I scrubbed and I let out a frustrated sound, abandoning the bathroom with the tap still running and entering the bedroom again, grimacing as the body came into view.

I was tracking blood on my shoes and my hands were dripping wet but I was too upset to care.

I stepped around the body, grabbing the knife from the bed along with the camera Masky had left behind.

Did he really leave me to clean up this mess? I felt sick to my stomach and I left the room, crossing the hallway and throwing myself outside.

There was only a dusting of light in the sky at this hour and I quickly entered the thicket, my legs taking me far away from the house and what had happened there.

I was upset with Masky for leaving but I was also hurt. All the softness he'd promised me, to have picnics and to keep things normal- it was a lie. And I knew it wasn't entirely his fault, I saw the struggle and the pain he was in when he spoke about the voices but how was I supposed to cope with that?

My fingers pressed against the plastic container, the pills rattling inside. From the date on the bottles I could see that it had been a long time since he'd gotten them, and yet it was still more than half full.

The sky was just filling with a warm light when I made it to the park and as I approached the pond I took the blood crusted knife and tossed it in with a plunk. I watched it sink until I couldn't see it anymore before I kept walking. My clothes and hands were bloody, if anyone were to see me now they'd definitely call the police.

There was no way I could go home looking like this.

I made sure to stay under the cover of trees and eventually I made it to Amy's.

It was still early so I doubt she had already left for school but when I rang the doorbell I wasn't expecting her mother to answer.

She was a tall woman with pointed features and skin that was a few shades lighter than Amy's. Her catlike eyes widened as she took in my appearance and I was immediately stunned.

What do I say?

"Oh, what happened to you Kit?" She had stepped away from the door to allow me inside and I shuffled across the threshold like an idiot.

"I um- I had a nosebleed."

She didn't seem to buy it but still allowed me to go by her and as I took the stairs two at a time I met Amy's dad at the top heading down. He quickly stepped out of my way as I rushed past, almost spilling the coffee he held in his grip.

"Watch it-" his cheerful voice met my ears.

Banging on Amy's door had her pulling it open with a furious expression almost immediately but when she noticed my appearance her look softened and she pulled me inside, locking the door behind us.

"What happened to you? Are you hurt?" Her hands held my face and she turned my head this way and that, noticing the cut on my neck. Her finger pressed against my wound, making me wince.

"Who did this to you?"

My eyes flickered from her to the floor and back, "I... I think Tim needs help."

"You think?" her sarcasm didn't go unnoticed and she pulled me over to the sit on the couch as she went to the bathroom for a first aid kit.

As she came back and started to clean my wound I gave her a rundown of what happened, seeing her press her lips into a firm line, her brows creasing.

She was upset.

"I don't think you should see him anymore Kit. He's gone too far this time. No one should hurt you like this and I dare you to try and defend it."

"I wasn't going to-"

"Good. Stay away from him."

I nodded at her but I knew it wasn't honest. Even if he was as horrible as she thinks, there were still the better parts she didn't know and even if those parts were sub par you couldn't blame him. I could understand.

When she was done cleaning the wound she placed a band-aid over it and I smiled weakly when she pressed a tiny gold star sticker to the flesh colored bandaid and patted my head, leaving me to shower.

I was still shaking when the hot water rained down on me. I didn't know what I was feeling and didn't know how I was supposed to feel. There was just a glum that settled over me, numbing my emotions.

That glum followed me throughout the day after Amy drove us to school. My mind was all too occupied yet static and everyone traversing the halls felt like background characters in a play. Classes felt like a recurring dream.

Finally I got to relax and Amy sat with me during lunch, trying to comfort me by saying how much I deserved better and how she'd kick everyones asses if they ever showed their faces again.

All while my eyes were trained on the window behind her. I wasn't looking at anything specific, just thinking about the mess I was in.

Amy stopped talking when she realized I was getting up from my chair.

"Kit," she caught my hand and I turned my head to look at her.

"Where are you going you haven't finished your lunch-"

"I have phys ed," I tried to sound apologetic as I pulled my hand out of her grasp. I wasn't lying but my PE class wasn't for another twenty minutes at least, "I'm going to try and get ready before the changing rooms get too crowded."

Her eyes searched mine for a moment before she spoke, "alright. I'll see you after school then."

I nodded, leaving the loud lunchroom and when I went to get changed the locker room was almost completely empty to my good luck.

I got changed into my PE uniform and before heading outside I grabbed Masky's camera that I'd stashed in my locker this morning.

Crossing the football field I squeezed through the breach in the chain link fence at the edge of the school's campus and headed into the trees beyond.

There was a slight incline and I hiked up to a spot that had seemingly been reserved by a stoner, if the evidence they left behind was anything to go by.

I brushed a few leaves off the rectangular stone and plopped down, looking out to see Mr. Hawkins setting up hurdles on the field. From where I sat I could almost see the entire school but I was cleverly hidden by the trees leaves.

Eventually people from my class started taking to the field and I turned my attention to the camera.

I wasn't sure what I'd find but I knew it would at least give me some insight into what made Masky tick.

The first video to pop up was from last night and I skipped away from it, not wanting to relive the experience but some sick curiosity drew me back. I watched it with a steady heart rate and when I watched Masky rip apart the girl's top I felt the same possessiveness from last night course through me.

Even if he was only doing it to rile me up I hated that she had been touched by him.

I hated that he used my jealousy against me in that way.

I hated that he knew just how to manipulate me.

The next few pictures were blurry and hard to make out but as I skipped through, the scene played out in reverse.

A body on the ground, sorrounded by trees and bleeding out into the dead leaves. He'd followed them from the park the day before. In the distance I could see the looming shadow of a tall slender being.

I scrolled on, my face getting hot when I came across the videos of us Masky had taken when we were at Amy's.

Butterflies danced in my belly as I watched and although I didn't want to, I scrolled to the next.

The next video that I came across was shaky in the beginning and the audio was almost too low for me to hear what was going on.

I jumped when there came a bang and when the camera focused it was only to show a middle aged man's body slumped against the side of a building with a bullet lodged just between his eyes, the hole leaking brain matter.

"Nice shot," Masky's voice came over the speaker from behind the camera and followed Hoodie's back as they entered the building. The video ended there and I scrolled even further back until I came upon a video that seemed to be filmed in some kind of hospital room or lab.

My breathing quickened as I watched Toby pick up a syringe and after a sign from Masky's hand before the camera, he injected the substance into the IV attached to the arm of the person lying on the bed.

"Make sure to write everything down. Those numbers are important," Masky was speaking and I watched the person on the bed start to shake, the machines attached to record their vitals beeping incessantly.

As Toby scribbled away Masky's camera zoomed in on the EKG machine as the person flatlined.

"Did you get all that?"

"Y-yeah."

"Now the next one."

Toby grabbed another syringe, this time however he stabbed it into the person's heart and squeezed the substance in.

Just three seconds later the EKG machine beeped to life and the video ended.

I continued to scroll through the media after that, finding one disturbing video after the next but I slowed down when I started seeing pictures of my house.

My bedroom window.

And then... inside my bedroom.

Multiple pictures of me sleeping. My heart started to thud in my chest again as I scrolled through the countless pictures. His bloody hand caressing my cheek in one of pictures made my heart stop and I bit my lip as I continued to look through rest.

The dates changed but there were even more of me, some where I was asleep but others of me in random places I hadn't expected Masky to be.

Outside my window watching me change. Across the street from the grocery store.

I let out a breath when the picture of me and Joey in the coffee shop popped up.

So he had been watching me.

I was about to scroll some more but the camera started blinking red and died. After a few minutes of trying to revive it I sighed and got to my feet.

The only thing I learned from this experience was that despite the fact that Masky and the others were just as depraved as everyone knew, it didn't change the way I felt about him.

Even as I'd confessed my feelings to him he was doubtful, or more like he didn't want to believe me. I can only imagine what someone like him thought of love in the first place. He said love couldn't describe what he felt for me. I wondered if he thought love just wasnt a strong enough word for what he felt.

It thrilled me to know he desired me as much as he did and any anger I'd been holding for him instantly dissipated.

His way of showing affection was a drug I couldn't quite wean myself off and I didn't want to think about where that would get me in the long run.

×××

Thanks for reading!

If you don't know Jada Kingdom which rock have you been sleeping under sis?

I think the song is somewhat accurate to Masky and Kit's dynamic.

Okay bye!