《Level One Thief》Chapter 29 : Goblin Scouting
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Sleeping on the rough roof is an option. In the middle of the day with the sun beating on our faces? Sure, why not. Beats getting beaten to death the moment we hit the ground.
Or does it?
Dagger is getting restless, and Spoon is bored… which means she starts and stops her death magic in idleness. No telling what she’ll do if she sees a rat scurry across the roof.
Even I can’t lay back down and sleep in the hours it’ll take until nightfall. Almost dying, discovering butta, Spoon getting revived (being chased by Spoon for taking her spoon), and general anxiety play havoc with my mind.
I want to get down from the roof, to be far away from the large mountain cursing and swearing loudly underneath our feet. We all avoid the window that overlooks his kitchen, but that doesn’t mean we’re safe.
But in the dark, we will be safe!
Maybe—I counter myself—maybe…
The gate we climbed before
Almost died—
But WE did it—
And almost died. All three of us!
I feel the start of a headache building and the echo of the last spike of psychic damage from the last attempt at overthinking. We make for the gate at dark—
NO!
Ok, what’s the better PLAN! I scream to my stupid self! I can’t be this stupid I—
I need to look around.
“Spoon, Dagger, come here.”
Spoon dispels her resting death spell of fire and bad intentions, and Dagger meanders over, his own thoughts probably something like, “We stay, we go? We stay, we go?”
The moment we’re together, we form a huddle. Our heads pressed together as a way to share brain power. Obviously, nobody wants to stay on this damn roof all day!
“We go?” starts Dagger, and I nod, half lying but mostly telling the truth—
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“We scout.”
Dagger groans and Spoon looks confused, so I explain, “We must find a different way to escape. Anyway, not the gate, or we stay till it’s dark!”
“Scouts boring!” Dagger whines and I nod in agreement.
A good Goblin scout must both see an opportunity and stay far away from it to make it back to the tribe and direct the troops in a proper raid. The problem? Most goblins are impulsive, for we are SUPREME and would much rather take advantage of a juicy chance to score some easy EXP or Loot ourselves. It’s only the fact that most goblins who act this way rarely make it back from proper scouting that discourages people from doing the un-scouty thing. And because being un-scouty means a short, nameless death, and scouting is against our nature, well…
“Very boring,” Spoon agrees despite never being on a scout mission in her life. Maybe the shaman side of the tribes explores Mount Gabo for new unfortunates for target practice, but I doubt it.
So I shake my head slowly to not bump into theirs, “I scout! You both stay.”
For a moment, there is silence and then an explosion of “NO!” from both Dagger and Spoon. I would like to say they are more concerned about my safety, but I know better. They really want to get off this roof sooner than later.
“We come… but no scout!”
I wanna thunk Dagger in the head, but I need whatever is left of his Goblin brain intact. So I sigh instead.
“Do you know a way out of here?”
Dagger opens his mouth-
“Without running into the humans in the alley and on the street!”
And then promptly shuts it, but Spoon chimes in, “Well, you don’t either!”
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I whirl on Spoon and am about to—
Well, she is right. You don’t know either.
Shutup ME!
-sigh in defeat. To scout, I need to get down from the roof, and head into the alleys, already full of squinty-eyed humans waiting for prey, waiting for-
Wait. Waiting for human prey.
I start to smile before the dam breaks, and I bust out in laughter. Maniacally, of course. They’re looking for humans, preferably large ones. But goblins who can be mistaken for human children—
Carrying loot—
Shut. UP
—should slip past them if they’re not looking that hard. Which they won’t because I have Sneaky Goblin!
But that’s not all we have.
I turn to Spoon. “How does magic work?”
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