The brisk night air vanished, but Isaak still shielded his eyes against a flash of white light.

It had been a car's horn, or perhaps something even larger. He could still feel its metal weight rise before him like an ornery dragon, the finger lickin' delight of KFC forgotten in the shadow of its menace.

"And then this..." Isaak said. He lowered his hands from his face and found that the white light had abated.

He stood in a massive hall. Hundreds of candles and candelabra filled the spacious room with a soft coo of light. Great pillars of white marble rose around him like a cathedral, but what he saw felt less religious and more medieval.

Isaak's eyes fell upon the lone figure who shared the room with him, and his heart fluttered.

He had never seen a woman of such absolute beauty before. She looked like the fashion models that appeared on magazine covers, but without the veneer of CGI and Photoshop. Her hair fell in voluminous locks of gold, full and heavy enough to climb like a rope.

But Isaak's eyes did not linger on her face.

"This must be heaven," he muttered to himself as his gaze alighted upon the massive jut of her chest.

The angel wore a gown of purest white inlaid with golden trinkets and intricate trim. The silken cloth seemed to hug and accentuate her womanly charms with impure intent. It was hard to look away.

"But I probably shouldn't stare," Isaak said, surprised at how calm he was.

Because a car or a truck or a small airplane had hit him. He had woken in a reverent room filled with candles and a woman of otherworldly beauty. An angel, which meant that he must have died and ascended to heaven.

"Which means I really shouldn't stare," Isaak said as he continued to ogle the angel's motherly melons.

"Chosen One..."

Isaak jumped as the angel spoke. Her words were like sweet honey poured into his ears.

"Thou cometh to mine realm in a time of great need."

Isaak's relative calm took a small slip at her words. While he did not mean to be sexist, the angelic figure had said her realm, and he had never imagined God as having two enormous bountiful breasts.

"A wretched evil hath set its roots within mine realm, and thus I call thee to its aid."

His unease shifted into a creeping dread as the woman's once angelic attire and appearance took on a more... fantasy tone. Casting his gaze around the cathedral-like room, Isaak could not find a single cross, and what sort of heaven did not have a cross or two hanging on the walls?

"To thee, Chosen One, I would offer mine blessing so that- "

"Hold on there," Isaak said with a raised hand, his voice soft and unsure. "Is this... heaven?"

The woman's golden smile did little to allay his concerns.

"I called thee to this crossroad, Chosen One," the woman said. "I can but keepeth thou here for- "

"That's an awful lot of words for a yes-or-no question," Isaak interrupted. "Look, I think there's been some, some kind of mistake because I was a Christian. Maybe not the best, but..."

"Thou art confused," the woman said, seemingly oblivious to Isaak's concern. "Thou spirit was adrift in the Great Aether, and so I called thee here to- "

"Adrift in the what?" Isaak interrupted. All this called to business had finally sunk into his head. His unease and dread bled into a white frustration. "Are you telling me that my, my soul was headed somewhere, headed to heaven, and you, you snatched it up?"

"Chosen One, thou need not be- "

"That was another yes-or-no question!" Isaak said, and the woman's earlier talk of wretched evil struck a foul cord in his head. "This feels like... But that can't be..."

"Please, Chosen One," the woman said, her beautiful face even more radiant in its confusion, but he would not be seduced!

"Send me back!" Isaak said. "Send me back to that... that... aether? I'm a Christian, and I- "

"Won't you shut up already?" the woman snapped, and all of her fantastical pretense fell apart. "Why are you being so difficult? The first guy wasn't nearly as much trouble."

Isaak's thoughts screeched to a halt, and then a fire tickled his gut.

"First guy? What happened to all of your Chosen One talk? You can't have two Chosen Ones!"

"Enough!" the woman shouted, and the hundreds of candles that filled the room with their soft red flames were snuffed out. The silence that followed had fell over Isaak with a physical weight.

The enormous hall was cast into shadow, but the angelic woman seemed to glow from within. A brilliant light radiated all around her intricate vestments of white and the harsh snarl that rested on her angelic face.

"I am the Goddess of Leonsa!" The room started to shake with the force of a small earthquake. Isaak stumbled onto the cold stones of the floor, helplessly off-balance. "And I will not be made a fool of by some lowly mortal!"

Isaak's heart caught in his throat as the floor disappeared out from under him. The Goddess disappeared from sight as he started to fall into a bottomless and limitless black. His arms and legs flailed wildly, but he could not find anything to cling onto.

"Save my world!" the Goddess shouted from afar. "Or get gobbled up by some demonkin!"

Isaak could feel his consciousness start to slip away as fell deeper and deeper into the wild black. His final thought before the abyss swallowed him whole leapt from his lips with one final burst of strength.

"I haaaate isekaaaai!"