Burdensome, exhausting, tiring.

Even though i was not happy in marriage, i was in-luck my business was flourishing.

My hair salon business soon grew from a small scale business to one of the top popular hair salon in Douala town were we resided.

I was known for beautifying both men and women to their satisfaction, and i made a fortune out of my business .

My success in business did not stop me from been a humble and submissive wife to my husband Gozie.

Gozie never allowed me save my money, he would always order me to hand over all the money i make from my salon business to him and i did oblige without any qualm.

I was young and naive and i believe he made good use of the money we both worked from our different businesses.

I believed Gozie invested every single penny i gave him into buying properties in Nigeria because that was our agreements on what the money should be used for.

At least we could start amassing properties now that our marriage yet to be beautified with children, i suggested to him.

Unknown to me i was lied and manipulated once again by Gozie.

Gozie never bought any lands in Nigeria as he claimed to, rather he spent all the money on his multitudinous girlfriends.

I could have denied him access to my business profits, but he would claim to be the head of the family and thus i should hand over to him every surplus i make from my business.

A decision i oblige to so as to avoid been referred to as an ungrateful woman.

It seemed as though Gozie's access to my business profits made him even more unfaithful. Not a day that i did not receive a call from female friends telling me " Oh! Ngọzi i just saw you Gozie your husband in a " specific" hotel with a lady and just thought it is right for you to know".

Believe me there is no greater opprobrium of being married to an unfaithful partner.

Gozie went from being a cheater to a chronic cheater. His desire for more and more women grow stronger each day.

He did not have a limit to his sexual urges, he even went as far as been sexually intimate with my house helpers the most embarrassing of them all.

To an extent i had to change my house helpers regularly because, it is either Gozie has been intimate with them or he made an attempt on them which resulted to disrespect from the house helpers to both Gozie and i.

Imagine sharing your husband with your house helpers,

nothing beats this humiliation but Gozie never cared about my feelings instead he remained unashamed.

When i realized that my every attempts to talk Gozie out of his unchaste desires was unsuccessful, i decided to write a letter to my father to inform him of the increased agony his decision brought upon my life.

A letter my father read with so much pains in his heart and demanded i end the marriage, but forces greater than my power did not let me hearken to the words of my father.

I could not walk out of the marriage now after five years tolerance, maybe the birth of children might change him. I muttered to myself.

Gozie suddenly started traveling back to Nigeria very often. He told me he bought a land in the village and that he wants to start developing it, but that was not the only reason why he was traveling to Nigeria nearly every month end.

No! There is more to this his frequent traveling back to Nigeria, i said to myself.

Some weeks later after Gozie had traveled to Nigeria, i got a letter from one of my cousin in Nigeria, warning me of what is about to befall me if i do not take action.

The letter only confirmed my intuition and in my cousin's words " your husband Gozie is planning on impregnating another woman from our village", this however was not shocking to me as i had seen worse down here in Cameroon.

I muttered, squeezing the letter with a scowl face.

Few seconds later i reopened the squeezed letter and continued reading..

"Sister Ngọzi! Gozie is seeing another woman in Nigeria and she goes by the name Amaka an indegin of Ama-Ezike village and Gozie, in-fact he has promised her marriage.

News has it that every time Gozie arrives to the village, the girl mother would be the one to bring her 18years old daughter to Gozie for him to be sexually intimate with her".

What a disgust! I said squeezing the letter again.

Gozie did not dis-oblige to this, on the contrary he so much welcomed and enjoyed every bit of it.

He would even go as far as giving the girl my clothes to put on and allowing her access to my bedroom and properties.

I wrote a letter to Gozie's father complaining of his son behavior, as Gozie's biological mother was late and he was raised by his father and stepmother.

The old man to my surprise was in support of his son actions and replied me with...

"Since you got married to my son it is only money you have been able to produce, we did not marry you for money but for children, Since you cannot give him children let someone else do it and do not even try to disturb my son."

What a father in-law! i said with a painful smile.

But how would i blame Gozie father? His not to be blamed here, if my father had not given me out to this immoral man i would not be degraded this much.

It is very true that my life before Gozie was not a bed of roses but at least i still had my dignity, i still walked with my face up, with my pride intact and my heart was at peace.

But this is no longer the case, not only did i loose my education and dream career as a lawyer to Gozie i equally lost sanity.

I started to wish my mother never abandoned me and that i never had to marry Gozie just so i could be free from my stepmothers heart-hardnesses.

As i struggled with these thoughts i went down on my knees with teary eyed and called on heaven to show me mercy and cleanse this curse from me, else i put an end to this sorrowful life of mine by myself.