1.4k

Romantic

Fluff/Comfort

A request from my Tumblr :)

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Sitting on a stool at the kitchen island in the compound, you sighed, fingertips circling the rim of your cup of coffee that had long gone cold.

4am in the compound was a lonely place. Lonelier than normal. Though the feeling of isolation and solitude had become a somewhat comfort to you. Growing up in an emotionally stunted and unavailable household meant you struggled with many social interactions that seemingly came easy to your peers.

The empty kitchen provided you with a feeling of calm in an otherwise chaotic life that you lead. Insomnia commonly kept you awake, and so you often found yourself thinking the night away at the kitchen counter.

With shadows stretching and dancing around the walls in synchrony, the harsh light from the moon pouring in through gaps in the closed blinds, and the whistling of the wind through the many vents that kept the giant compound well-ventilated, the kitchen at such an early hour would seem like a nightmare to some.

Not to you.

At first, you had found it unsettling, to say the least, but over the many months that you had resorted to using the room as a hideout, it had become a place of serenity by association.

When kept up at night, you liked to just sit and think, and over time the various stimulants in the room meant that you were able to do your greatest thinking whilst in their presence. Psychology is a funny thing.

Your thoughts were mostly plagued by your shortcomings in life. How even though you had now been in a relationship with Natasha for four months, four great months, you still felt as though you were letting her down.

Physical affection is something that you had always craved, but your upbringing didn't allow you to learn the cues that you thought you needed. As a touch-starved person, having no clue when to initiate a hug, or know when the person wants to hold hands was hard, never mind the more intimate touches that usually came with a relationship.

Natasha was your ultimate comfort in life, and yet she was also your greatest fear.

She was always incredibly patient with you. But you still felt like you were letting her down.

Letting Natasha down was something that you never wanted to do.

Ever.

A sigh escaped your parted lips as you let your eyes flutter shut, your body shutting down from exhaustion, but your mind still as wide awake as ever. Then a particularly strong gust of wind from the outside world travelled through the metal labyrinth above your head, pulling you out of your thoughts.

A reminder that it was now 5am and you still hadn't slept.

Your head fell into your hands as you pushed the undrunk coffee away. You just wanted to sleep.

"Y/n?", a familiar voice along with the blaring overhead light being turned on made you jump out of your skin. Swiftly, you turned in your chair to face your girlfriend, who was standing with her hand still on the light switch, sporting gym attire.

Her day was starting and yours had not yet ended.

"Hey, Nat", your weary voice painted a frown on her face, and immediately your chest constricted, you didn't want her to be worried about you.

You didn't want her to view you as high maintenance.

"Sweetheart, I thought you said your sleep had been getting better", she pouted slightly whilst making her way over to you and taking a seat on the stool next to yours, scrunching her nose at the sight of the coffee. "Caffeine certainly isn't going to help", her tone was a bit harsh, but she meant well when she moved the cup further out of your grasp.

Wincing you looked up at her, her eyes softening immediately. "I never drink it, I just like the smell", you gave her a half smile, one that she tried to return but it just ended up being a sad smile instead. "And I wasn't lying, it had been a bit better than normal, just having a bit of a rough patch with it over the last few days", you shrugged.

You struggled to decipher Nat's expression. The way that she was looking at you was new. It wasn't pity like you had been expecting. She looked rather helpless, the way her eyes were trained on your facial features, tracking every movement, every muscle twitch, her tense posture showing just how out of her depth she was.

For the first time ever, you had seen Natasha Romanoff looking helpless.

Swallowing thickly, you looked down again and picked at the already damaged skin around your cuticles. "Hey, don't", Nat whispered as she placed her hands atop yours, your breath hitching at the contact.

Your gaze met Natasha's, whose eyes were sparkling with adoration, and a whole lot of worry mixed in there. "What can I do to help you?".

Holding back tears at how gentle she was being with you, you shook your head, "I don't want to bother you, hon, you're in your gym clothes so you have training, right?".

Nat shook her head with a small smile, "You are my top priority, so, what can I do to help you right now?".

Exhaling shakily, you spoke with your voice small, scared to request it. "Can I just have a hug?". The crack in your voice made Nat's heart shatter as she nodded frantically, and scooped you up into her arms, your body shaking as cries escaped you.

"Shh, shh it's okay. I know, it sucks. But I'll always be here to give you a hug, okay? Always, I promise".

You nodded against her shoulder as your grip on each other tightened. "I just want to sleep", you cried, Nat's heart once again breaking. If she could take it all away for you she would in an instant.

"Let's get you to bed, yeah? We can go to my room, and I can stay with you until you sleep".

Looking up at your girlfriend you shook your head, "You just woke up though".

"I know", she gave you a dopey grin, "But like I said, you're my top priority, plus it gives me an excuse to get some cuddles in".

Guilt coursed through you, you hadn't been enough for her.

"I'm sorry that I never initiate anything like that, it's... it's not that I don't want to I just struggle I don't know why".

Nat's face dropped, "No, I get it it's okay, I'm more than happy to initiate for the both of us if that's what you need". When your face still looked wary, she placed a kiss on the tip of your nose, a smile easily breaking out on your face. "I love you".

"I love you too", you replied before you let out a huge yawn.

"Yup, bedtime", Nat concluded and looped her arms under your thighs to pick you up. In your sleep-deprived state, you didn't comprehend what was going on, at all, so you looked around in confusion at the sudden height change as Nat started walking before it finally clicked in your head.

Now feeling safe, you nuzzled your face into the crook of Nat's neck, her heart melting into a puddle.

It didn't take long to reach Nat's room, who gently placed you down under the covers of her bed before placing a kiss on your temple and moving away. She chuckled at the involuntary whine that you let out as you reached your arms out to her. "I'll be two seconds I'm just putting a looser shirt on", she explained.

You let out a hum of understanding as your eyes drifted closed, being with the person who made you feel safe was allowing your brain to relax more than it had in a while.

When the bed dipped next to you, your eyes fluttered open as you felt yourself being manoeuvred into Nat's hold, her grip loose but firm enough for your sleepy figure to feel anchored. It was nice.

Her hand gently rubbed up and down on your back as you again moved your face into the crook of her neck, her chin resting on the top of your head. "Sleep, sweetheart, I'll be here when you wake up", she promised.

The tiniest of smiles rested on your face as you soaked up all of the affection, allowing your eyes to close again, safe in the arms of your favourite person.