when I first got my period, it was Christmas Day of 2011. I had gotten mostly everything I wanted. Some dolls, a new pair of shoes and some clothes. I got a makeup set, I got some twilight stuff too. I was jubilant.

when I first got my period, I already knew what was to come. i was obsessed with reading Dear God, It's me Margaret. because i couldn't wait. i wanted to know I was normal. That I would get it. My mom was a late bloomer, so it was expected for me to be too considering I was the only girl out of many boys.

when I first got my period, I was already used to being on my knees with him in front of me. Forcing himself in my mouth after making me watch the professionals off of his shiny new iPhone. I was already an expert since it wasn't the first time he made me do it. i was a woman before I got my first period because I knew what semen tasted like and what fingers felt like against my core.

when I first got my period, his fingers were inside and he asked me if he had cut me. i said no. I was already used to the feeling of something being against me, or inside of me so I wasn't sure what it was. i was supposed to be a late bloomer. he asked if it hurt, and I said not anymore. he wiped his fingers and couldn't look me in the eye.

because the last day I was his was the first day of my womanhood. of course he didn't want me anymore. i knew the difference now.