That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Vol 2, Ch 23 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and held a contest to fill my harem

"Beauty Pageant?"

I nodded. "That's right! A contest to determine which of you is most deserving of a spot in my harem!"

I walked over to the small stage. The Karaoke Golem glanced up from its magazine, but seemed to determine I didn't need his services and went back to his reading. Would this work for my purposes? It was kinda small, but then again, we only had three contestants. I'd have to set things up properly, though!

I quickly activated all of my magic skills and cast [Light], creating a spotlight on the stage. I moved it around mentally, clicking it on and off before nodding in satisfaction. Next, I had to create some accent lighting. I cast [Light] again, but this time used my [Flaming Spell], [Frostbitten Spell] and [Electric Spell] Artes to make colored lights.

I tested it out, shining the lights around the room. The red light left a trail of scorch-marks as it went, accidentally setting one of the Paladins on fire, while the blue light left a trail of frost. Hmm. That might be kind of a problem! It'd be too hard to properly judge their outfits if they were on fire.

I turned the damage down as low as it could go, then clicked them off for the time being. The lights were all sorted out, at least. Next... this stage could probably do to be a bit bigger.

I scratched my chin. I could get [Carpentry Basics] using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill, but then I'd have to do manual labor! I'd have to find another solution. I learned the skill anyways, because why not?

It seemed like magic might be my best option here... I didn't really know much about how magic worked. I hadn't seen any spells in the [Skill Catalogue], or in the [Artes Catalogue]. I wondered if there might be some kind of [Spell Catalogue], but that kind of thing just seemed too convenient.

Although... I did have that [Research Spell] Arte! I bet that would let me learn spells! I activated it, entering "stage size up" in the prompt field, and letting it run.

After about 45 seconds, I realized that this ability wasn't instantaneous. Ugh! Who knew how long this would take!

With a sigh, I decided that I'd wasted enough time on this whole dumb thing anyways, and just used [Alter Reality] to make the stage extend a good 20 feet into the room, erasing one of the pool tables from existence.

There! Now that's long enough to be a proper runway! I wiped the nonexistent sweat from my brow, turning to face the three contestants.

"Alright! This beauty pageant is ready to begin! The winner will get to join my harem!"

The three girls all looked pretty unprepared. Two of them were looking at me in confusion, while the shy one was looking nervously at the stage, probably mandela-effecting about the fact that it jutted out into the center of the room now.

"Alright, , you're up first." I said.

The girl blinked at me in confusion. "That's not my name. What did you.. how did you even...?" She stammered for a few seconds before appearing to give up on that train of thought, crossing her arms. "My name is Erika," she said instead.

"Okay."

A long silence passed, while she stared at me, growing increasingly angry for some reason. Finally, she snapped, glaring at me and placing her hands on her hips as she leaned forwards.

"Well? Weren't you the one hosting this thing? How does it work?"

Huh? Why was she asking me? I sighed in response. If they were really asking me to do everything, this relationship was off to a bad start. I'd already set up the lights AND the stage. I'd seen at least one beauty pageant in my life, and the host pretty much just read things off of cards. Were they really going to make me do everything?

I sighed again, theatrically, giving her a dull-eyed look that hopefully told her exactly how unimpressed I was with her. The tension rose, as she leaned in closer, glaring at me, challenging me. I wasn't really sure what it was she even wanted me to do. Was she... trying to ask me to dress her? I blushed furiously. I-I couldn't do that!

"U-um!" blue-hair squeaked, "w-we don't know what a 'beauty pageant' is, so..."

Huh? Oh, of course! I slapped my forehead, chuckling to myself as I realized. I'd forgotten that I was in a primitive, backwards badass litRPG fantasy medieval-ish world. They barely had culture of their own, so it made sense that they wouldn't know what a beauty pageant was! Well, I guess it was up to me to educate them!

"I naruhodo," I replied. (TL Note: replied means "to say something in response") "Well, beauty pageants are classic and, uh... wonderful contests."

T-this was bad! I didn't actually know anything about beauty pageants! I'd only ever gone to one in my life after all, so even if I was basically an expert, it was totally different from teaching somebody else about it.

"There's, um... you start with... gowns." I explained.

"Gowns?" The green-haired one asked, cocking her head to the side in a way that made her hair bounce. "You mean, like... dresses?"

I nodded. This was off to a great start! "T-then, um.. swimsuits, right? Or underwear? O-one of those."

I counted on my fingers, and was relieved to see that I had two up so far. Seemed like I was on the right track.

"And after that... I think um... hmm." I scratched the back of my neck. "Sometimes there's uh, speeches about world hunger, or something, but I don't usually care about that part, so we can skip it. Then, uh..." I racked my brain, trying to think of what came next! What was it? I learned [Nerve Rack] using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill, but when I used it on myself it just gave me a big headache instead of helping.

"And after that... they show off their special talents."

"Let me see if I understand," Susannah trilled. "First we're in gowns, then underwear, then showing..." She smirked at me. "Special talents?"

I nodded.

"And it's a contest?"

I nodded again.

The girls exchanged a look. The blue-haired one raised her hand, then looked away, blushing. I pointed at her and made direct eye contact to gently encourage her to speak up, which she did after only 30 seconds of crying.

"S-so, um, is it... some kind of... s-strip combat?"

I opened my mouth to correct her, then stopped. That... was a much better idea than some kind of dumb parade.

"Yes," I lied. "That's exactly right."

The trio exchanged looks again, then huddled together and started whispering to each other. I stood politely off to the side, wondering whether I should abandon this whole thing and just make it mud wrestling instead.

The group broke apart and turned back to me, their eyes full of determination and a blush on the cheeks of the tsundere and the shy girl.

"Alright," the redhead replied. "We'll do it!"

I panted in exertion as I waited for my MP to refill again. The total number of contestants had increased to six, as several of the other paladins in the room decided to join in.

I felt a little proud about that. Was I entering my popular period? It was either that, or they had just decided it sounded like fun. Considering the second option didn't stroke my ego, I felt confident in discarding it entirely.

My MP topped off, and I looked down at the rec room's standard-issue recessed pit. It was about a two feet deep, and about halfway full of chocolate pudding.

"One more push should do it," I estimated, activating all my magic-related [Skills] to cast [Create Food] again. A glyph appeared near my hand and a stream of chocolate pudding poured out, glooping into the pit. It wasn't the most attractive noise or appearance, but that was nothing that a few women in various states of undress couldn't fix!

"Gross..." the tsundere Paladin said, shivering and sneering down at the pit that she was about to be getting into, probably. I wasn't sure if she was still competing or not. They'd all changed into various formal gowns, and she'd put on a red cocktail dress with a long leg slit.

However, as soon as I looked at her, she had said 'It's not like I put this on for you, or anything!' so I wasn't sure if that meant she was forfeiting, or what. I guess I'd have to wait and see.

"So how does this work, anyways?" the green-haired one asked. "You're filling up that pit, but what about the stage? Were we still using it?"

"Huh?" I asked, turning a bit and accidentally splashing pudding all over the floor. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "You went to all the trouble of setting it up, didn't you?"

"...no," I lied. "You're probably thinking of something else."

She stared at me, saying nothing. Phew! That was close. Pudding strip-wrestling was a WAY better contest than some dumb beauty pageant. I had wasted all that time and effort on the stage, but it was alright. I'd just bill the Paladin order for my time later.

I sat there slowly spewing pudding into a hole in the ground. The conversation had kind of died out, so I was sitting there awkwardly, while the Paladins looked around the room.

"So, uh..." I began, trying to think of something to talk about. There were even more [Paladins] here now, with another two joining in. I guess they all really wanted to be in my harem? But... why would they want to be in my harem, anyways?

"Why do you want to be in my harem, anyways?" I asked, out loud. It was a valid question, after all. I was incredible, rich, powerful, handsome, and smart, but was that really enough of a reason?

"It's not because of you or anything," the tsundere replied, tossing her hair out in a huff. "If we follow you, then we'll be part of the [Legendary Hero]'s party."

I nodded at the tautology as if it meant something.

"Like Jucika!" the shy one added, "o-or Drake. Or um, Hinge."

I didn't really know what any of that meant. They sounded like names of people. Uh, at least the first two did. But the way she said it made it sound like they should have been common knowledge, so I nodded along to hide the fact that I was clueless.

"In a worst case scenario, we'd be extremely rich and famous," the green-haired one explained, smiling and curling her hair around her finger. "Even if you were some kind of kissless virgin with an annoying personality, it'd be worth traveling with you."

I chuckled to myself. "Well, uh, it's a good thing that the [Legendary Hero] is me, then. Because I'm not any of those things."

They exchanged a look, probably sizing each other up in preparation for the fight. I had just about finished filling the pit with pudding, so it was just about time to get started.

"Alright!" I shouted happily, as I finished readying the wrestling pit. The stage was set. Not the literal stage, because we didn't need that piece of crap anymore. The figurative stage. The stage of battle.

"Time to get started!" I announced.

"The rules are simple: everybody gets in the pit, and starts wrestling! No hits to the face, but below the belt is fine. It'll be a battle of t- er, wits and wiles. Your primary goal is to strip your opponents n-na..."

I gulped, blushing as I struggled to say the naughty word. "Uhm, u-unclothed."

"U-um!" the shy Paladin said, raising her hand. "H-how do we know who won? I-is it the person who loses their clothes last?"

I started to respond in the 'yes' way, but hesitated. Did I really want the person least likely to lose her clothes in my harem? I smiled and gave her a sage nod, but just the one slow one that means "I'm about to say something smart" instead of the repeating one that means 'yes'.

"Don't worry," I told her, "I'll figure it out."

I raised my hand into the air and cast [Explosion - Lvl 10], vaporizing the roof to signal for the match to start. The paladins must have been really eager to get started, because they practically dove into the pudding like they were in danger. I looked up at the blue sky. I guess I'd caused a bit of collateral damage, but I was glad at least that there hadn't been any rooms above this one. Probably. I scratched my cheek. There weren't any rooms above it now, in any case, so it probably averaged out.

I walked over to a wooden chair, punching it and using [Kinetic Remodeling] to change it into a recliner. I hopped up into it and rubbed my hands together. It was finally the moment of truth! It felt like It'd been a long time since I got some nice fanservice! I was expecting to have encountered some kind of scantily clad adventurers on the road, but sadly, it'd been an extremely uneventful 1-2 second lightshow. But now...

Hot busty anime babes, wrestling in chocolate pudding.

It was like all of my dreams and search results had come true! I nestled into my chair, preparing myself by activating the video camera on my [Brain Cell Phone]'s [Camera] Arte, as well as activating several of my vision-related skills. I opened my eyes and beheld the glory of some wrinkly old lady leaning over me.

"Euuuaaagh!" I screeched incoherently, turning pitch white and doing an exaggerated visual gag with streaking lines in the background. What the hell? All the Paladins in the pudding pit had been pretty young, hadn't they? How long had my eyes been closed?! Suddenly, realization hit me, and recognition as well.

This was... that one old lady with the book! I let out half a sigh of relief as I realized the pudding wrestling was continuing, but then sucked it right back up as my brain continued processing for more than one individual step. If the book lady was here, then that meant...

"Did you find something more interesting than your history lesson, [Legendary Hero]-san?" Mother Exposita asked sweetly.

I grinned a smile at her, in what I hoped was a charming and disarming way. Heh... I guess she'd caught me. She smiled back, holding up her ruler.

"H-hang on a second," I pleaded, "I'll listen to it, I promise. Just, uh, after this is over, okay?"

With a flick of her wrist, the one ruler fanned out into 5. I glanced at it and gulped.

"I'm gomenasorry," I told her. "I won't do it again, I [Promise]."

She smiled down at me, a red light shining in her beady eyes. I scratched the back of my head. If she was smiling, that was a good thing, right? I began to get a bit hopeful, and then she opened her mouth and spoke.

"[Ultimate Punishment Artes: Divine Ruler Storm]"