This person wants to know how to stop being jealous.

Hello again,

First off, you're right that a lot of people have celebrity crushes, but usually, part of the appeal of a celebrity crush is the fact that the person is unachievable. Celebrity crushes don't lead to anything because of what they are by nature: a superficial attraction to a famous person or your idea of them. Your girlfriend wouldn't be with you if she didn't like you. Acting more like her celebrity crush is a disservice to the both of you in that regard. She likes you for you, so by changing your behavior to act like another person, you negate her feelings for you as you are and you suppress yourself. Just be yourself.

As far as changing goes, growth takes a lot of work, and it isn't something that happens overnight. I think it is a good thing for now though to start with one specific area to work on, and you can branch out from there. Now, in our previous response, we talked about insecurity. When it comes to jealousy, it is usually founded on some insecurity or other. Your goal from here is to start untangling that ball of yarn to figure out where this jealousy is coming from. There is a reason. There are triggers. Figure out what those triggers are, and you can use them like breadcrumbs to follow the trail all the way to the ultimate "why". Again, this is something that takes time, and it mostly happens internally. This is somewhere where counseling would likely be helpful, at least in gathering or organizing your thoughts, but if you're sure that isn't something you can look into, I highly suggest writing your thoughts down. Get a journal and dedicate it to this. Use it as a place to word-vomit anything that comes to mind about the topic, and then go back later and organize the gathered thoughts. Read through the word vomit, think about it, and write down your new thoughts after reading. What stuck out to you? Were there any ideas or phrases that were repeated in the section? Identify the emotions expressed in the section. And over time as you engage in this person-growth activity, you will begin to see a pattern that will likely lead you directly to the answer to your question. Having it physically written down is a good way to get the thoughts out in the open, but it is also incredibly helpful to be able to reference them later on when you're introspecting. Unfortunately, I can't give you a foolproof method for getting rid of your jealousy. Most of it is internal work as well as some communication with your girlfriend.

Either way, I hope this helps. I hope you can continue having a beautiful relationship. Message us again anytime!

Best,

The Advice Column Team